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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Dysfunctional?

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Author Topic: Dysfunctional?
Member # 20664

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First of all, I must admit that I'm not pretty. My best friend keeps telling me that I am, but I'm sure it's because she wants to make me feel better.
Furthermore, I think I'm bi. And I have a crush on my best friend that I mentioned above.
I am a tomboy. I like wearing t-shirts with prints of old rock bands, I don't take care of myself etc.
That started some years ago, when all the boys of my class asked me to tell another girl they had a crush on her.
I saw almost all of my girlfriends with a boyfriend, and I didn't. I started thinking that I was ugly or dysfunctional. Nobody could have a crush on me (and still can't).
What's wrong? Am I dysfunctional?

Posts: 2 | From: Greece | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 20046

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Nope, you're completely normal. Everyone is different, including you! I don't think I'm pretty, but my friends and boyfriend do. Majority of girls will think they are unattractive, you'll rarely find someone who is completely satisfied with their appearance.

If you think you are bi, no way at all does that make you dysfunctional, that's just how you feel at the moment and that is perfectly fine! But it can also be a natural tendency for some girls to become attracted to their bestfriend. Are these feelings on a physical level? or an emotional level?

It's also very hard for teenage girls these days as there is a lot of pressure to have a boyfriend, which is why you are feeling so upset about not having one. Just because all your friends have them and you don't, doesn't mean you won't in the future. Sometimes it takes some patience and then the right person will come along and that person will think you are great!

It's easy to get realy down on yourself if you continue to concentrate on the negative things in life. Try focusing on positive things and then you will be reminded of how well life is going despite the lack of boyfriends of personal opinion on your looks. By the sounds of your post, you are just another average teenager .

Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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...because you don't look or dress like some other people?

Get out.

That's not dysfunction, sister, that's DIVERSITY. And thank gawd for it, the world would be a pretty creepy place otherwise.

Do you WANT a boyfriend: is that actually something you're interested in, for you?

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5594

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I have the same issues as you, sometimes I feel like I'm not pretty, sometimes I do, It all depends on the mood i'm in. Also all of my friends have boyfriends and I don't either. And haven't had a boyfriend in a very long time, but it really doesn't bother me that much. I'm not just going to go find some guy to be my boyfriend for the sake of a having a boyfriend, just waiting for the right guy to come along that i really actually have feelings for.

So don't worry about it, lots of people are in the same situation as you, you're not the only one out the way you do.

And I totally agree with Miz Scarlet, being different, is GOOD. You should be proud of yourself for not being the same as everyone else. I hate seeing clones of the same people over and over!!

Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 20664

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Well, I like being different. I never liked to follow the crowd.
I have told my bestfriend I have a crush on her. She was very calm and said this is just a reaction, because I have met the worst guys up to now -I have been heartbroken many times. In addition, my friend has proved many times how much she cares about me, so it's normal to love her. But I have noticed I want to kiss her etc.
I don't understand the way guys think. They all seem to want the ones I call sluts (sorry for the expression). I admit I'm jealous of them because they are pretty, but they seem to be completely silly and "easy".
I only know that my self-esteem is completely destroyed. They made me think that I'm so ugly that nobody would ever like me.

Posts: 2 | From: Greece | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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