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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Friends?

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Author Topic: Friends?
buzz_bomb
Neophyte
Member # 18198

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Hi Iím 16 and in high school. Last week I went through a particularly stressful time at school. I was angry and I took it out on my best girl-friend. Iím a very academically competitive person and whenever I achieve anything short of perfection I become very distraught. I donít know why but I felt jealous of my friendís success and for the entire week I just couldnít speak to her or see her. I think I just felt to embarrassed because I have had this major crush on her for the last 3 years and ever since then I have tried to impress her. I donít know why because nothing will ever ďhappenĒ between us (long story), I just have this perverse urge to impress her. But for the past 3 years weíve still been the best of friends, that is until she got really pissed at me for acting that way I did. Now a week has gone by and Iím really starting to regret the way I treated her. I donít have anyone to laugh with, have fun, or make jokes with. Iíve tried being nice to her again but sheís not going for that. She says that she thinks ďIím a jerkĒ and we have pretended we were strangers for the last week. I donít know what to do. I need advice on how I can mend our friendship and deal with this nagging crush thatís been bothering me for years. Lol. Thanks.
Posts: 27 | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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If you suddenly refused to see or speak to her for a week, through no fault of hers, then yes, I can see why she's angry at you.

Sometimes, you have to swallow your pride and admit something like, "You're right, I was acting like a jerk last week. But I was having a stressful time, and I'm really sorry."

Then it's up to her whether she wants to resume the friendship.

How you deal with the crush is another question, and there are no easy ways to make an unrequited crush vanish (alas). But what you can do is ask yourself whether you want to let the crush sabotage your friendship, as it seems to be doing.


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smilee_kylie
Activist
Member # 20046

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I'm interested in this long story about why you couldn't ever possibly be with her...
Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
buzz_bomb
Neophyte
Member # 18198

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This is in response to smilee_kylie: I met my girl-friend at the beginning of high school in 9th grade. I am surprised that we ever became friends because neither one of us share many common interests. Nonetheless we have been friends ever since. I have observed that she is a very introverted person and tends to limit her social interaction in and out of class. She is a very smart and beautiful person and I admire her sense of maturity and responsibility. She and I are both socially conservative people and I donít believe she would be comfortable in a ďdatingĒ scene. My peers would be the last people to suspect me of ďgoing outĒ with anyone. And down to the basics, she just ďainítĒ physically attracted to me. On a superficial level we are opposites on to many ways to describe and I know I donít fit her definition of attractive. I donít why, but I feel comfortable near her. She doesnít even need to do anything or say anything but I still feel attracted to her. Iíve become her close friend and a sort of ďMr. ReliableĒ but nothing more. It seems utterly impossible to resolve these subtle differences between us and thatís why nothing will ever happen.
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