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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My ex is bugging me...

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Author Topic: My ex is bugging me...
twitchyactress
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Member # 20680

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I went out with this guy and he dumped me after a month because I'm "too young and inocent" meaning I wouldn't give him a bj or have sex with him. It's ok 'cause he's a teenage guy, I understand, but he keeps flirting with me. He even held my hand! It's making it really hard to get over him. How can I tell him about my feelings in a nice way?

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"One day men will look back and say I gave birth to the twentieth century."-Jack the Ripper, 1888


Posts: 8 | From: PT, WA, USA(unfortunately) | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CrimsonCriminal
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Well, if he dumped you just because you wouldn't give him sexual favours, then he's a jerk and only went out with you to get some and not for companionship.He expected that all after a month? Pshh... Maybe he feels guilty now, or maybe he just thought that if he could have you back he could "corrupt" you. He's not a very smooth character, he made it way too obvious that he only wanted to get into your pants, if he was any good at what he did he'd make women want to do things for him without even hinting. Just make it clear that you don't want to see him, or if you do, make it clear that you won't do anything you don't want to. I think he was saying that to get you to sleep with him to try to keep him, I know a girl who did that, it's a terrible thing to do and it's terrible to put that kind of guilt trip on anyone.
Posts: 105 | From: Australia | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
twitchyactress
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Member # 20680

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Well, it's more like this. He has had sex before and he didn't want to have sex with me becaus he knew I didn't want to and he has this phobia of having sex with virgins. That isn't all he was looking for either. There were plenty of time when he could have done it in the heat of passion and I wouldn't have told him not to. He wasn't using me for things like that. He's just being an ass like all guys. but how do I talk to him about it?

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"One day men will look back and say I gave birth to the twentieth century."-Jack the Ripper, 1888


Posts: 8 | From: PT, WA, USA(unfortunately) | Registered: Nov 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smilee_kylie
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Member # 20046

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I think if you did go out with this guy, it probably wouldn't last in the long run. Is he sensitive to your needs? Because it does sound like he likes a relationship where he receives a lot. If he has been in sexual relationships prior to you and you are not ready for that sort of thing, you really would have to voice your concerns and make your boundaries clear if you were to get into another relationship. It sounds like, to me, that he didn't like these boundaries you were putting up for yourself which is why he broke it off.

He is probably still really attracted to you on a physical level which is why he is flirting with you and holding hands. If you find this too awkward, just let him know or try to give the hints you are not interested.

It is your choice whatever you do, but just remember to think about yourself first.


Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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