Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Who should I tell?

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Who should I tell?
Korky
Neophyte
Member # 20473

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Korky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Not all of my friends know that I've had an abortion. I don't know who to tell, and who not to tell. Lastnight I was reading one of my friend's online blogs and she was talking about how abortion is 'murder'. It upset me very much. I thought I was over it all...but am I really if I continue to get upset when people say things like that?

I just don't know what to do. Most of my friends know, but when I meet new friends what do I do? I'm tired of feeling ashamed. My mother doesn't think anyone needs to know, but I think it's HER that doesn't want anyone to know. I told her it's not like I'm going to print it in the paper...I would just like to be able to share my experience if the subject gets brought up between friends or family.

I posted before asking about if I should tell my new gynocologist that I've had an abortion, and Miz Scarlet said that it's a good idea to be truthful for many reasons, but also to help all women with abortions be able to be more visible. That made me think...you are so right Miz Scarlet. We should not hide or be ashamed. Some people just don't realize the emotion that's involved. They act like women just get abortions for fun.

I don't really know what I'm saying here so I'll just post what I've got and hope it all makes sense!


Posts: 8 | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gloworm
Activist
Member # 7235

Icon 1 posted      Profile for gloworm     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Korky,

first, let me just say that you are very courageous about wanting to share your experience with certain people. i know that having an abortion was probably a very difficult thing to go through but you made the best decision for YOU.

i have never been in your situation, or even known anyone close to me who has, so i may not be the best person to comment on this. i think i can understand what you mean about your mom not wanting you to tell anyone because she doesn't want anyone to know. but it is ultimately your decision and if you want people to know about it, then if you feel comfortable telling them, then i think you should.
i guess if i were in your situation, i would start by only telling people i trusted a great deal and see how that goes. that's the beauty of having a personal life- you get to decide what you tell to whom. and yeah, you need to let your gynecologist know about this one, if you haven't already, just so s/he will have a heads up on your health history.

good luck to you, dear, you are very brave and it seems like you are doing well.

[This message has been edited by gloworm (edited 10-28-2004).]


Posts: 262 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
smilee_kylie
Activist
Member # 20046

Icon 1 posted      Profile for smilee_kylie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It all comes down to what you feel comfortable with and who. If you are good friends with someone and you feel comfortable and that you want to share your experience with them, then do so. If you are not sure, or feel uncomfortable or feel you should tell them just because they are a friend, you don't have to. Your friends certainly won't blame you for that. For some girls it helps just to put it behind them and for others it helps to discuss it. It really comes down to you and what you feel comfortable with.
Posts: 58 | From: Australia | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Korky
Neophyte
Member # 20473

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Korky     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Thank you both for your kind words. I appreciate the feedback. It's funny, I always seem to worry about what everyone else thinks, instead of me just being ok with me.

Thanks again.


Posts: 8 | Registered: Oct 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
gloworm
Activist
Member # 7235

Icon 1 posted      Profile for gloworm     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
...and that's perfectly normal. it takes a lot of work to get to a point where you are totally comfortable in your own skin, and for some people (myself included!) it is a continual process!
Posts: 262 | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3