Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » effects of sex on a relationship

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: effects of sex on a relationship
Member # 20154

Icon 1 posted      Profile for YingYang     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I am considering having sex with my boyfriend for the first time.We'v ebeen together almost 2 months and I really care about him.I want to be with him sexually,and we have talked about it,but a friend of mine recently told me that after you have sex the whole relationship changes.And that starting to have sex could make or break the relationship.This really worries me and scares me because even though I want to take our relationship to that level and so does he,I am afraid of losing him or having everything change for the worse.Should I take the chance and hope that if our relationship does change that it will be for the better and we'll be a stronger,closer couple?I was thinking that if the sexual activities we have already engaged in are any indication,then we should be able to handle the changes that sex may bring about,but I'm just not sure......
Posts: 5 | From: Georgia,USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2971

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Celtic Daisy     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey! Sex is not something that's gonna be the same in every couple. Speaking from personal experience, sex did not make the whole relationship change. Personally, it brought us closer and there are no regrets on either part. We chose to start having sex a couple of weeks after we were together. Neither of us thinks of sex as a heavy subject though.

For other people however, it is. It's definatly not something you should do before you feel totally comfortable. It sounds like you're still questioning whether or not you're ready.

Here's a couple of good articles to check out:

Talk with your boyfriend. Tell him what you're telling us. Make sure you both understand what you want and that you are both ready.

Consciously Naive

Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~

Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 20075

Icon 1 posted      Profile for fille_francaise     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Honestly Dear, it all depends on the relationship you have with him. Do you love him? Have you guys talked about it to the point where you know for a fact nothing will change? I think it's important for you to discuss these thigns so he knows your fears...he needs to know how this will be for you. So I suggest you guys talking about it & don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. He's your boyfriend...he'll understand.

But my best advice is to not have sex because you feel like it'll make the relationship better. Sex isn't supposed to be something that "seals" the relationship, so to speak. It's just a deep & strong expression of how you're feeling for shows that you care for him more than just a "i like him a lot." Ask yourself if you love him...& if you honestly care about him...those are the most important things.


Amor Vincit Omnia :: Love Conquers ALL Things.

Posts: 138 | From: Southern California, USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 19932

Icon 1 posted      Profile for nachtgeist     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
If you have ANY doubts, don't do it.

If there is ANY doubt in your mind that sex is The Way to Go, it's not the way to go.

Talk to him about it. maybe put off the sexing for a little while longer. Can't hurt.

rocking out for the future

Posts: 34 | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 20211

Icon 10 posted      Profile for ILuvGabe24     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Dear Ying Yang,
Not every couple has the same feelings for each other. There are A LOT of things you guys should think about together. STD's, portection, and pregnancy! If you really love him you guys should move slow...and if he really love you he won't rush you into anything you're not sure of. Take it slow and think, you never know what can happen.

Posts: 14 | From:,u.s | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3