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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » effects of sex on a relationship

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Author Topic: effects of sex on a relationship
YingYang
Neophyte
Member # 20154

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I am considering having sex with my boyfriend for the first time.We'v ebeen together almost 2 months and I really care about him.I want to be with him sexually,and we have talked about it,but a friend of mine recently told me that after you have sex the whole relationship changes.And that starting to have sex could make or break the relationship.This really worries me and scares me because even though I want to take our relationship to that level and so does he,I am afraid of losing him or having everything change for the worse.Should I take the chance and hope that if our relationship does change that it will be for the better and we'll be a stronger,closer couple?I was thinking that if the sexual activities we have already engaged in are any indication,then we should be able to handle the changes that sex may bring about,but I'm just not sure......
Posts: 5 | From: Georgia,USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2971

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Hey! Sex is not something that's gonna be the same in every couple. Speaking from personal experience, sex did not make the whole relationship change. Personally, it brought us closer and there are no regrets on either part. We chose to start having sex a couple of weeks after we were together. Neither of us thinks of sex as a heavy subject though.

For other people however, it is. It's definatly not something you should do before you feel totally comfortable. It sounds like you're still questioning whether or not you're ready.

Here's a couple of good articles to check out: http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/abstinence.html http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/firsttime.html http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/readiness.html

Talk with your boyfriend. Tell him what you're telling us. Make sure you both understand what you want and that you are both ready.

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Consciously Naive

Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fille_francaise
Activist
Member # 20075

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Honestly Dear, it all depends on the relationship you have with him. Do you love him? Have you guys talked about it to the point where you know for a fact nothing will change? I think it's important for you to discuss these thigns so he knows your fears...he needs to know how this will be for you. So I suggest you guys talking about it & don't be afraid to tell him how you feel. He's your boyfriend...he'll understand.

But my best advice is to not have sex because you feel like it'll make the relationship better. Sex isn't supposed to be something that "seals" the relationship, so to speak. It's just a deep & strong expression of how you're feeling for him...it shows that you care for him more than just a "i like him a lot." Ask yourself if you love him...& if you honestly care about him...those are the most important things.


E♥

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Amor Vincit Omnia :: Love Conquers ALL Things.


Posts: 138 | From: Southern California, USA | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
nachtgeist
Neophyte
Member # 19932

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If you have ANY doubts, don't do it.

If there is ANY doubt in your mind that sex is The Way to Go, it's not the way to go.

Talk to him about it. maybe put off the sexing for a little while longer. Can't hurt.

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rocking out for the future


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ILuvGabe24
Neophyte
Member # 20211

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Dear Ying Yang,
Not every couple has the same feelings for each other. There are A LOT of things you guys should think about together. STD's, portection, and pregnancy! If you really love him you guys should move slow...and if he really love you he won't rush you into anything you're not sure of. Take it slow and think, you never know what can happen.

Posts: 14 | From: billerica.ma,u.s | Registered: Sep 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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