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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Scared of his Ex-Girl and her Friends

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Author Topic: Scared of his Ex-Girl and her Friends
CMTFlovesHAH
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This is a long story but I'll try to make it short as possible.

I met my fiancÚ when I was in 10th grade. Years past and we were just friends. But when I was a Senior and he was a Junior in high school, he and I started to date each other. We have been together for almost 2 years now. He just last Friday asked me to marry him. All is good right?

Well, in the beginning of March of this year he had broke up with me and it stated that way for 2 months. About 3 weeks after he broke up with me he started dating his now ex-girlfriend. Lauren is her name. They were in the same JROTC class and knew each other before. When Lauren saw I was out of the picture she started hanging around him. She is a big girl, and she has a very pushy personality. He felt trapped into dating her to get her from being so pushy. He knows now that that was a mistake and breaking up with me was the biggest mistake of his life. We both grew from our 2 month break up. He has told Lauren to her face that dating her was a mistake. Everyone, including my Mom knows that she still wants my now fiancÚ back. We Love each other, my family knows it, my friends know it. Why can't she just leave us alone.

One night his oldest sister called at 1:30AM to talk to my fiancÚ (my fiancÚ lives with me and my mother) and I could over hear that she called me a little bitch. Lauren even came over to our house with my fiancÚ's sister and another girl from JROTC to get a rank cord at 10PM and didn't call before they came. Also, there were 3 guys out in the car they were in. All 3 of the girls came into my home! I didn't notice it was 3 of them, I only saw his sister so I said come in. Lauren must be insane! This was about 2 weeks ago. I felt so violated after they left. This is my home, where I can let my guard down, but now someone I didn't want in my home just came in without any warning.

My fiancÚ went to boot camp Sunday night. He told me that I could tell Lauren that we are engaged. (She had been on a JROTC trip and got back as soon as he left for boot camp) I instant message her yesterday and she didn't say anything she just put up her away message which said, "Some thing's just shouldn't be done unless it's true love ... if you want to know what I am talking about call the cell." Then at 8 o'clock that night I got a crank call and they knew my name and my fiancÚ's name and I could hear laughing in the back ground every time this guy said things to me about him knowing me and me and him being hammered and getting together on a beach one night. I've never drank any alcohol in my life, and I haven't been to the beach in three years! I get scared to be here alone while my Mom is at work at night. I feel like Lauren and some of her friends are going to come over and harass me or something. What can I do? Is there anything that can be done? I thought that tell here that we are engaged would make her go away.

My fiancÚ didn't want to leave me a girlfriend when he went to boot camp. I didn't want it to sound like we got engaged just for Lauren to leave us alone, because that is NOT the case. There is much more to this but this is about as short as I could make this story. Please help.


Posts: 76 | From: NC, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
illuminatedmind
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You might want to look into what you can do legally to keep this girl away. You and your fiance could both get restraining orders.
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logic_grrl
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To get a restraining order, you'd have to show that she was harassing you after you'd made it clear you wanted her not to contact you, or that she was threatening you in some way.

And, unless I'm missing something, that hasn't actually happened yet.

quote:
All 3 of the girls came into my home! I didn't notice it was 3 of them, I only saw his sister so I said come in. Lauren must be insane!

I'm not sure I'm understanding this correctly. You invited them in - presumably they didn't know that you hadn't noticed there were 3 of them, unless two of them were hiding in the bushes, or something. They didn't force their way in.

Once they'd come into the house, did they do anything aggressive or threatening?

Otherwise, all you've got is your fiance's sister being rude about you when talking to your fiance, and some guy making a harassing phone call. Neither of which can be directly blamed on Lauren.

If you could prove that she had told this guy to phone and harass you, or she does anything threatening in the future, then you'd have a case and could see the police about a restraining order.


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illuminatedmind
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I thought there was something you could do without providing proof.... Or at least I thought that's what Bruin_Dan said at one point on another post..... Did I remember it wrong? I just thought the restraining order was it. Sorry if I was mistaken.
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logic_grrl
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Generally, you don't have to prove your case 100% to get at least an interim restraining order issued, but you do have to be claiming justified grounds - i.e. that someone's been abusing you, harassing you, stalking you or threatening you.

You can't get a restraining order just because you find someone creepy.

This girl seems pretty pushy and rude, but from what's been said so far, all she's actually done is come into a house after being invited in.

It's not implausible that she was in some way connected with the harassing phone call, but there's no evidence that she was.

[This message has been edited by logic_grrl (edited 09-07-2004).]


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CMTFlovesHAH
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Thanks for the posts!

Well, His sister was the only one I could see when I opened the door, she was right in front of the door. I have a wall that is near my front door and the were near that. Plus it was dark. I said to my fiancÚ that it was his oldest sister and for her to come in Nikkie (her name).

A week later I told her over the computer that it was rude of her to come here. I knew she was the one that told the rest of them where I live. She admitted that to me.

His oldest sister was the one giving my phone number out to JROTC people to call at ridiculous times in the morning and night. She is the only one that knew it and my number is not listed in the phone book.

I just feel this is ridiculous. And Lauren and his sister Nikkie are being immature about this. I don't think I need a restraining order, but I just want to make it clear to them. Leave us alone, please.


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logic_grrl
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quote:
I just want to make it clear to them. Leave us alone, please.

And it's your right to do that, politely but firmly. If you want, you can state clearly that you don't want her coming round to your house (although you may be sending mixed messages if you're also chatting with her on the computer regularly).

However, it also sounds like you need to talk to your fiance about his sister's behaviour, if she's the one getting people to harass you on the phone. Excluding your prospective sister-in-law from your life could be quite tricky.


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