Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I'm a bit of trouble...big trouble actually and i need SOMEONES help!

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: I'm a bit of trouble...big trouble actually and i need SOMEONES help!
IThInkImInLovE
Neophyte
Member # 19050

Icon 4 posted      Profile for IThInkImInLovE     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Ok well this is a very long story and i'm so confused i just need someones advice or help in this situation...Okay..well..i have a bf right now and ive been going out with him for a lil over a month now..and i like him...but i still have feelings for my ex bf....and me an my ex have been talking alot lately and just been catching up on some stuff...ok...well my current bf...he is a really jealous type and that kinda scares me cuz he can do anything crazy if he found out i was talking to my ex..and another guy...i kinda got myself into some sutff...well my ex always told me before he still loved me and i didnt wanna believe him till the other nite when he anounced it to all of his friends and my friends...i was so surprised..and i cant say i dont love him cuz i know i do...and he was telling me how he changed his ways for me cuz he use to do drugs but got some help and stoped and like i asked him what made you stop? he said me..he said i made him stop..becuz me and him have know each other for 4 years already we went out for a year kinda didnt talk to each other for a while...and at the begining of this year we hooked back up again for the 2nd time...and we both at the time were going through alot of stuff...so we and we both desided it wasnt going to work again but when had told each other we just need some time to think about us and we did think but after that we always talked ..it was like we were the best of friends...well when he was telling me he did for me....i told him why..he said he was so stupid for letting me go 2 times and he couldnt see me walk out of his life again...and like i didnt want to lose him either but i told him if he says he has changed i want him to be able to prove to me that i can fall back in love with him again...and so we talked about more things well the current bf found out and started yelling at me and telling me hes gonna hurt my ex..and i'm so scared..but he has never acted like this he treated me good for the first couple of weeks and all of a sudden he changed...but i really like him too and i dont know if i should leave him and go back with my ex or stay with him until my ex can prove to me he really wants to be with me...but the currrent bf..is moving to oregon...and i was kinda sad when he told me but in a way its kinda good cuz now i can be with my ex...but i he wants me to wait for him until he ocmes back and when he ocmes back he wants to move in together but i cant do taht im still in high school and i'm not gonna wait for a guy cuz the way he is he wil cheat on me out there and usually long distance relationships dont last...so i'm just kinda confused...i dont know who to choose from or who to be with ..i mean my heart is telling me to give my ex another chance but my head is telling me to be with my bf now...and i just dont know...well if theres anything anyone has to say about this whole thing please let me know give me some advice or something cuz i just dont know wat to do...i just dont..it like i want both but i know in a way its wrong so i dunno..please just write something anything anyone has just plase give me wat you got Thank you!

[This message has been edited by IThInkImInLovE (edited 08-29-2004).]


Posts: 6 | From: Las vegas,Nv,United States | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Fox Lover
Neophyte
Member # 19555

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Fox Lover     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You need to be honest with everyone. If you think your current boyfriend would physically hurt you or anyone else then maybe you shouldn't be in that relationship period. I know how it feels to be dumped because my boyfriend thinks he's in love with his ex and can't let her go. My boyfriend did it to me but we got back together. So maybe if you're honest things will work themselves out in time. But you can't lie to anyone. Or bend the truth. It will just hurt more the longer you wait. Good luck *hugs*
Posts: 25 | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
IThInkImInLovE
Neophyte
Member # 19050

Icon 1 posted      Profile for IThInkImInLovE     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Wel thx for you advice...and i know i should tell everyone the truth...and my ex knows everything about the new bf and everything and he was a lil upset..but he understands but the other one i mean i like him alot but i know i shouldnt stay in a abusive relationship but i'm scared if i do let him loose he will do sumthing stupid..and i'm just confused..i dont wanna let any of them go but i know i have to sooner or later...thx for your help
Posts: 6 | From: Las vegas,Nv,United States | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Fox Lover
Neophyte
Member # 19555

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Fox Lover     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Yah I know just make sure you are careful and safe. Abusive relationships aren't good at all.
Posts: 25 | Registered: Aug 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
tell us how many of these boxesyou checked...

The Abusive Partner Checklist
[] My partner is very jealous, gets jealous easily
[] My partner follows me around, checks up on me a lot
[] My partner tries to control how I dress or who I spend time with (friends, family, coworkers)
[] My partner yells, calls me names, puts me down
[] I hide things that I think would upset or anger my partner (phone numbers, letters, photos)
[] I am afraid to say no to sex
[] My partner threatens me, or has threatened me
[]My partner hits, throws or breaks things when angry
[] I am fraid to disagree with my partner
[] My partner has pushed, slapped, punched or otherwise hurt me
[]I feel like my partner's anger is my fault

for more on that, check out http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum9/HTML/000698.html

i didn't get through all of your post because you're improficient at punctuating and paragraph breaking, and i have a short attention span. but what i gathered is you're in a really bad sitatution.

------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information for Los Angeles County residents.
Love Scarleteen? By donating just $1, you can help keep us around.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
illuminatedmind
Activist
Member # 17190

Icon 1 posted      Profile for illuminatedmind     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just a tip, I know it's easy to get caught up in the rush of the moment, but if you could use paragraphs (sapcebreaks) and try to keep an eye on your grammar, it will make things easier to understand. I got a little confused.

Fox has a point. If your current bf could be potentially abusive, then it' may be best not to stay with him. Just because he's treating you great now, it doesn't mean it will last. No matter how jealous he gets, he doesn't have the right to go out and hurt anyone.

I know you may be afraid to leave him for that reason, but that's how people get trapped. They believe there's no way out or that they deserve what they're getting, but it just ends up making things worse. You need to evaluate the situation and decide whether or not to get rid of this guy whether or not you want your ex back.


Posts: 198 | Registered: Mar 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
IThInkImInLovE
Neophyte
Member # 19050

Icon 1 posted      Profile for IThInkImInLovE     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well sorry about not having paragraphs i know it can be quiet confusing. But thank you for your advice and i think i have a good idea of what i'm going to do now.
And that check list i did have quiet a few i checked off and thats how i came up with my descision it's going to be kind of hard but i have to do it.
i'm going to break up with the current boyfriend.But i'm kind of scared. and i dont want to tell anyone the way he treats me cuz i know no one would care so i'm kind of alone.So i'm going to break up with him and see what happens. and again thx for your replys.

Posts: 6 | From: Las vegas,Nv,United States | Registered: Jul 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Silver1381
Activist
Member # 18771

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Silver1381     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
It sounds like you are making the right decision to break up with your current boyfriend since you said you checked some things off on that Abusive Partner Checklist. If he does in fact do,"something stupid" just keep in mind that that's on him; not you. If you are concerned that he really may do "something stupid" than I suggest that you talk to an adult that you can confide in about what's going on. Again, if he reacts badly to this, it's not your fault.

Hang in there and best wishes to you!


Posts: 123 | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ORION
Activist
Member # 17910

Icon 1 posted      Profile for ORION     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A guy threatening you, that he will do something "stupid" is just a way of him trying to keep you. There is no easy let down but maybe if you just calmly talk to him he might just realize that he needs to let you go. If I were you I would call him and tell him (dont do it in person), because you dont know how he's going to react. Normally its better in my opinion to tell them in person but in your case I would make the exception.
Posts: 72 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3