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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » if run outta choice...suicide (Page 1)

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Author Topic: if run outta choice...suicide
christopharjack
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oh god, i can't believe at this age i haven't got a gf ohh ummmm i donno what to say here actually i put up a post on the other thread but someone reffered me to check here and i might find this thread more useful but i donno yet, so i was just wondering what am i supposed to do with this feeling of lonely and pretty much like isolated and ummm i donnno what is an option for me, i guess if i run outta choices i should just take my life and rest in peace cause i know that i might be so pethatic or something that's why i don't get something that i want ummm i donno

[This message has been edited by christopharjack (edited 04-13-2004).]


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ladydexter
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Hey, calm down! It's not the end of the universe to not have a girlfriend at 17. I was 18 until I got a partner I trusted enough to do more than kiss and cuddle with.

It's not the end of the world - more likely, it's your mind's way of telling you that either you're not ready for a relationship, or you haven't met someone who'd be worth your affection yet. It'll happen, just give it time. It's not a race, after all! Wouldn't you rather wait and find someone you really loved than just find anyone and end up going through a messy breakup?

It's not worth committing suicide over, in any case. The right person'll come along sooner or later, and until then, you just have to wait.


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~*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
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Whoa hun calm down... what exactly is your problem/question? is it the fact that you havent had a g/f yet and you feel alone? well if so...your not the only one who hasnt dated yet, I personally have never been in a relationship that has lasted more than 3 months and it wasnt serious so your not the only one. There are a lot of people out there who have not yet experienced dating and thats normal! A lot of people arent really worried about it, they have other things they want to do before getting into a relationship and thats perfectly fine. And as far as ending your life go its not worth it... there is so much out there to live for! there are things out there that you have yet to do and people out there you have yet to meet (maybe that special girl ) so dont give up! Go out and meet new people and try new things maybe then you will find someone you want to be in a relationship with and if not its ok you will eventually you can still go out and meet new friends ! So think positive and keep your head up, you'll find someone eventually! Good luck hope I was of some help!

~*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
(Megan)


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logic_grrl
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You know what?

I was over 25 before I kissed anyone.

And a huge, huge number of people haven't dated by age 17.

It doesn't make you pathetic or a loser or anything else, and it certainly doesn't mean you're going to be alone for the rest of your life.

But it does sound as if you're feeling very isolated and depressed. Is there anyone you can talk to about this?


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Jules
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I'm 20 years old and I've never had a boyfriend. There's nothing wrong with me, I'm attractive, smart and nice. Being single does NOT make you a loser. Trust me I've spent many days and nights thinking about the fact that I'm still single and I've come to the conclusion that life is made up of so much more than having a signifigant other. I'm passionate in my interest for design and art. Find a hobby, chances are you'll then find someone in the same circle as yourself who shares the same interests. Of course we all yearn for someone to be close with. But it WILL happen, when you're not even looking. Don't give up, giving up means you could miss the girl of your dreams down the road.
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im_nobody61
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i just wanted to say something about all this advice you guys always think that every one in the world has all this money and people to talk to and you wont talk to them until they doeven tho you dont understand that they have grown on you and your the ones that they trust and look to
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~*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
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Im not sure I understand your reply Im_nobody01... can you please explain it to me? Thanks

~*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
(Megan)


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im_nobody61
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i will make a post on this for you love
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logic_grrl
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quote:
you guys always think that every one in the world has all this money and people to talk to

It doesn't take money to talk to a friend, a school counsellor, a social worker - or us. There are many clinics which will provide cheap or free prenatal care, and it doesn't cost anything to call the police in an emergency.

But we aren't doctors, lawyers, police, or therapists. We can't do those jobs or provide those services, and it would be wrong (not to mention illegal) to pretend we could.

We can give you advice on how to access those services, but we can't make the phone call for you.


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christopharjack
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oooooo goddddd.... ommmm i donno itz so hard i mean you know sometimes when i walk out side itz because i feel so guilty about myself that i haven't done something when i was in high school grade 10, sorry if haven't made you guys aware that i'm a dropout now i wish i hadn't done it but it happened, it happened because i was so lonely too there...in school...
and now again i'm alone, isolated i feel like i'm locked up in a tiny small cell, i can't find somebody to hung out with and again itz so killing me to go out with nobody and try hard to catch up with someone that doesn't know you that's so pethatic of me...oh my goodness, i can't believe it's happening...

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~*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
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Well... you can still join some type of group if you'd like. You're not alone! Everyone on here is your friend and we enjoy talkin to you, but I dont enjoy seeing you so upset. Cant you go back to school maybe not exactly the same high school, but isnt there somewhere you can go to catch up on your credits and stuff? And what do you feel guilty for sweetheart you havent done anything..have you?

And as far as being alone, like I said before your not... You have us, parents, family, counsler?. Maybe you should try talkin to a counsler maybe they can help you more with this. Once again about the girl friend issue, its ok really, didnt you read everyone's reply's a lot of them said they havent dated yet and they are ok with it because they know they will eventually... listen to them they know what they are talkin about Even though you havent found a g/f / partner doesnt mean there is anything wrong with you by any means! Because you will find that special someone eventually; it may not be today, tomorrow, or even this year, but you will I promise so dont worry about that right now ok

Go out and try and meet new people if you would like, and try and get back into school if that is an option where your from. And talk to someone else also like you parents or a good friend! Well once again good luck! and be positive

*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
(megan)


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Jules
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Let me tell you something about high school, it's a whole other world. I had few friends throughout school. I had nothing to do with the popular crowd because they weren't like me. I got out of high school into this world of adults and realized that they didn't care whether I was prom queen or the geek in school. It didn't matter how many friends I did or didn't have in school. I know here in my city they offer classes for those who haven't finished high school, and the great thing about it is, the people who are there really want to be there. It is NEVER too late to go back to school not ever. And I can assure you that if you make the effort to talk to others and converse, there will be someone there to make friends with. I speak from experience, I'm a very shy person and I've realized normally at the end of the school year in University how everyone loosens up and I've met all these people whom I was afraid to talk to but they ended up being so nice and accepting. Give it a try
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the_procrastinator
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I think that before you go into a relationship with someone else, you have to like yourself--or at least be okay with the way you are. And it doesn't sound like you're in that place right now. You're being awfully hard on yourself for not being in a relationship--something that everyone does at their own pace. That's important to remember: you shouldn't do anything you aren't ready for.

Have you considered getting a job? I hate to inflict my dad's "wisdom" on anyone, but making money could make you feel more productive, which in turn might help you feel better about yourself. And it could be an opportunity to meet people as well.

Also, are you going to get an adult diploma (or whatever it's called)? It might be easier to find work if you have a high school education. I'm not saying go back to regular school (which sounds like it wasn't a good environment for you), but aren't there programs that let you earn your diploma at home? That might be something to look into.


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christopharjack
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ummm thank you guys, it really means alot to me its great you know it was just a couple a minutes ago i check in here and i'm looking at all these brand news posts and thinking to myself what in the world had had happened to me, and now i feel like i should start a new one from this point,,, but i'm not sure though... hopefully i'd keep my promise but there's one more thing that i haven't told you guys... should i let you guys know now or ummm i donno it might sound not really cool i guess...
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~*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
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Well I'm glad to hear you are goin to start over, thats great! I'm happy for you. What is the other thing that you wanted to tell us? If you still want us to know please post it Good luck, and I'm happy for you!

~*~*Lookin4Love*~*~
(Megan)


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honey xxxx
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you have allthe time in the world to get a gf.
who knows ..... when you do find taht girl you could spend the rest of your life wid her.
try going out and socialising in places where there are alot of people up for fun ... like a club.
dont fret about it!!!!!!
good luck

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pyro_angel
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life really is tough alot of the time, i deal with depression at least every day. having a boyfriend has helped that in alot of ways, but not all. im more stressed out, and i always feel like im dragging him down. its not all flowers and sex, you know. just realize you arent really missing that much. find a good friend you can talk to, and that will probably help youget through whatever you are going through. i'd give ya my email to talk to me, but its not allowed... sorry but i check the posts so leave me somethin if youd like

------------------
Advertising on Police cars...police cars...


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Jenni_05
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Christopharjack i know what you are going through. i wennt through a long period during my final year of school and first year after school thinking i was alone and depressed about being single as i had not had alot of experience with guys. All my friends from school had basically left me and i was'nt seeing my bestfriend much cos she had a new bf. i really hated myself and my personality and wished i was a completely different person. i hated the way i was shy around ppl i did'nt know or just met. I felt so alone and saturday nights were so depressing it was horrible i actually was doing drugs at the time as well and that made it worse.

After a while i started to pick myself up and started going out with some friends i worked with and started to except myself for the way i am and tryed to be positive. i eventually found a beautiful man who i felt so easy to be with and did'nt feel shy around him at all. Now i know that my confidence has gone up alot and that i know that i have a wonderful personality and that i am happy for being who i am and always see the positive bits bout myself (even though there are still alot of flaws) but life is too short to focus on the negativity.

Basically what i am saying christopharjack you have your whole life ahead of you make the most of it and get out there and show your true colours because you are definately not alone!!!!!


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gothgirl13
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ok first of all a know where you arecoming from ive been there and ive also tried to kill my self (acouple of times) but the thing well i believe in fate and dont worry your time will come just try to think more positive and get out more meet new people
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christopharjack
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so, what you guys think i should do? i'm not really sure about it cause i basically hit 17 and i donno where i'm going...
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BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by christopharjack:
cause i basically hit 17 and i donno where i'm going...

I think you should do what everyone here is telling you to do, and hang in there. I mean let's be honest...is there any other option?

I can understand where the "I'm getting old and going nowhere" stuff comes into play, and I think we've all felt that way at some point. Today is my birthday, and on this day last year I made it a point not to let another year tick by without doing what I wanted to do with my life. So I spent all of the past year of my life working towards a goal which I reached this month. It was not easy, and it involved sacrifice and work that was so hard I thought it would break me, but you'll notice I am still here. And I am here because there was no other option. I either did something, or I just faded away...and there is no excuse for just fading away.

The reality of your situation is that you are 17 years old. Frankly, that is waaaay too young to be pulling the "I'm past my prime" nonsense. You've got a lot of good years ahead of you, and this notion that everyone is light-years ahead of you is pure hogwash. I'm sure some of them are, but I'm sure many of them are not. It is worth noting that what you see and what you hear is often not the true story of what is going on. So for all those who boast of their sexual success, for example, bear in mind that many of them are nothing but a load of hot air.

And when you start to think about it that way, things start to make sense. Wow, I'm not that far behind at all! And once you realize that, you will have an easier time making something of yourself...you won't feel "left behind" any longer because you'll know that you're right where you need to be.

Honestly, there really isn't anything more that any of us can do or say here. I think you've got a great many positive suggestions here for how to go about making yourself a success, now it is all up to you. You will need to be strong, to work hard and accomplish the goals that you set, and to never let your view of how others are doing color your view of how you are doing. That is a recipe for depression and disaster, and you sure don't need either of those! Keep your head up, bud. You'll do fine once you quit worrying so much about nothing.

------------------
BruinDan, "Code Four, Baby," PHOM

¡Siendo padrote no es cil!


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Jules
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Amen to what BruinDan had to say. I'm 20 and I don't know exactly which path I want to take either. I just finished discussing this with my twin sister because she feels the same way. It's normal to feel that way at your age. I know I'm a very creative person, I love everything from music to dance, to drawing and filming, but I don't know what I want to do in terms of a career yet. So you pluck away at different options til you find something you really like. You'd be amazed at what ends up happening and the things you find yourself falling into. I dreamnt of working in film ever since I would pass the movie trailers on the way to school every morning on the bus and I kept on thinking man, I wish I could work in there but I probably never will. I can proudly say I now have several large films listed on my resume and I did get the chance to work as a production assistant, bottom of the barrel, but I got to work on set none the less. Have confidence in your dreams and aim for the sky, don't let anything or anyone hold you back.
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Anita18
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Everyone's right on. Even people who have their careers established can wonder about where life is going to take them, because life is so unpredictable. You can never know what's going to happen for sure, but you can help the path along by trying out different things and not regretting what you've chosen. I'm in college and I thought I'd be a researcher but now I'm not so sure. I don't know if my bf and I will still be together in a year, but the feeling of that makes me not take him for granted. It's okay to be unsure - the uncertainty of life is what makes it fun.
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alec
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I'm 17, and I have been going through the same thing. I'm starting to think however it is more than just the result of a bad breakup, but now I don't think I could ever take the plunge and actually kill myself. Not because I'm not scared of doing it, hell it's 4 am in the morning now waking up from all the nightmares of still hurting. We all feel alone or in love at this age, which is why a lot of people start dating at this age or try to anyway but of course life doesn't throw things at us. The world is just a place, and just like anything we have to work at something to get the thing which we desire most. Despite constant moodswings I'm out to improve myself, and I will do what I know is right. That's the best advice I can give for my little experience.
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coolestdesignz
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If you even think you want to kill yourself (in a serious sense), a psychiatrist (somewhere) would like to see you.
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power chik
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hey chris. its ok. i feel ur pain. but dont do anything that may harm ur self. itll b okay. just wait and she'll come. if u have any questions or if u just wanna chat... my e~mail is edited
good luck

For your safety, please do not post personal information such as email addresses.

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 05-09-2004).]


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christopharjack
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Hey thank ya all so much i wanna apologize for the delay of my reply so i guess i donno what to say to ya guys i mean when i read your msgs ummm god i got the feeling like you know i guess i haven't thought about it carefully what it's like to be living life happily somehow you know but thank you guys so so much i donno what to say
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power chik
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hee hee. sorry about the e~mail thing. just thought i could help. guess not. well. im glad that ur ok chris. and best wishes finding a girl friend.
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christopharjack
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Thank you for wishing me luck but i donno i will be looking forward to it to break outta my shell i guess
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power chik
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ya. i getcha. sorry if it seems like im pressuring u. :S ....really, im 16 and i haven't had a boyfriend (in ur case a girlfriend) too...but i got over it. i used to cut...throw up... and crap like that...but it never really helped...just temporarily. just promise me one thing...dont do it. it really meses with ya. it sux big time.

well. im glad u chose not to. . and im glad i chose not to also. and again...lol... i know ive said this a million times, <smiles innocently> best wishes.


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christopharjack
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Thank you so much a million times and i'm glad i have come to the right place got the right advice from you guys, gotta tell ya what ummmm it's been really complicated but well when i got all yer message and stuff ya guys said and given me a blast and now i donno how to thank you guys i really appreciate you all

Thank you


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John316
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Dear Christopharjack
Follow along here and do all that I say.
I know you want to have the pain to stop.
Close your eyes, take a deep breath and HOLD it
for 3 seconds, let it out. With your eyes still closed,
picture of the most safest female you know of to tell this to.

"Mary/Jane/Susan[look into her eyes and say her name] I need your help, I'm falling apart on the inside and I really need to share my feelings with someone, I'd like to trust you. May I put my head in your lap and cry for a while or hold me some thing?"

You have got to get your feelings out in words out loud! Finding someone to let you be near them is going to help you even more. Don't worry about things like rejection at this point. Just keep asking till you find a gal that understands just what you are asking for.

Be real plane with her about what your needs are.
Getting your feelings out.
Let her know that this will NOT mean your hitting on her.
You picked her because she is human.
You are looking for understanding not for HER to be your g/f.

She should be about your age or older. Start with your mom, tell her WHILE holding her in your arms, just start cry'n right there. No matter if your rejected or not you keep on going and ask till you find a safe gal to share with. K?

Yours,
John316

------------------
All you have to do is ask.
I trust Him, I'll tell you why! :o)


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logic_grrl
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John316, if you're not hitting on them, why does this person have to be female, hmm?

If you're looking for emotional support, a male friend can provide that as much as a female friend.

quote:
Follow along here and do all that I say.

It's fine if you want to describe what's worked for you, but ordering people around and giving them detailed scripts to follow is not helpful.


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PrettyGreenEyez226
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First of all...

Killing yourself ISN'T an option here!

And secondly, you have soo much time to find a girlfriend. And having one doesn't always mean "the perfect life".

They'll be some heartaches you'll face and wish you didn't have a girlfriend.

I'm 18 and still wish I was single lol. JKN.

But, seriously, just chill out. Don't rush.

It'll happen when it happens.

------------------
<.:.>KRAZI*C<.:.>


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christopharjack
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Thank you so so much guys i appreciate it i can't thank you guys enough but yahh i have got your words in mind i still think about it alot...
Posts: 15 | From: Toronto, ON, Canada | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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