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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » help,im in tears!

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Author Topic: help,im in tears!
Member # 14767

Icon 9 posted      Profile for gombo_baby     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey,been going out with this girl for about 1year and 6 months and she has just finished with me.i dont know what to do,ive left it two weeks.As soon as i try and call her she hides behind her so called friends.i realy do love this call and im smitten for her.i know that she dosnt but i think shes just being pushed by her friends.please some one help ive been in tears ever since we split up.
Posts: 20 | From: uk | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3072

Icon 3 posted      Profile for BruinDan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
First of all, I'm very sorry to hear about your breakup. You can now say you've joined the proud ranks of Those of Us Who Have Been There Before, and I'd like to welcome you to the Breakup Survivor's Club. (You can pay your membership dues to me directly, I accept all major credit cards.)

Friends do seem to have a tendency to push and pull relationships, don't they? I'm not sure about your past history, but I think a lot of us here have seen both sides. I know there have been times when I've let the opinions of my friends dictate how I run (or end) a certain relationships, and I know I've definitely lost girlfriends over the opinions that their friends had. It's a fact of life that we are swayed by who we are around, and it's no good when our mates are pulled from us by friends.

But having said that, it's equally important to realize that this was her decision to make. No matter who is trying to pull strings, your ex had the final say in what she intended to do. And unfortunately, she chose to leave. With that having happened, there really isn't anything left for you to do. She'll hide behind her friends, you'll end up chasing ghosts for ages until you give up and move forward.

So let's try something new...moving forward. Sounds promising, right? The first (and hardest) step is giving up on calling her. That's not going to be fun at all, but it's one of those things that you'll appreciate after a bit of time has gone by. The more you try and contact her, the more she'll be on your mind, and the less you'll be able to focus on something (or someone!) else. You need to take that first step and start to release her from your mind's clutches. And believe it or not, you can do it.

That'll be your first step, and I think the time is now to make that happen. I might suggest trying to fill your days with activities, as the hurting tends to set in most when you are alone and/or bored. Do you work? Go to school? Have hobbies? Play hockey? Watch Coronation Street? Any of those things would be good ways to spend your time, the latter gives you the added advantage of drooling over Tina O'Brien.

You can get through this, my friend. It's just that first step that's the hardest. Take things one step at a time and you'll make it out alright. I promise. Take care, and come on back if ya need anything!

BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

¡Siendo padrote no es cil!

Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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