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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Help here. . . . . . possibly. . . . . . . pleaze!!!

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Author Topic: Help here. . . . . . possibly. . . . . . . pleaze!!!
Emmers
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Member # 15962

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I need some advice on how 2 deal!!!
My best friend of like 8 years has recently just hooked up w/ one of my best guy friends. I've been friends with this guy 4 years now but their relatoinship just doesn't seem right. I guess u could say I'm a little jealous, but not a lot. Everytime I'm around this guy (whom I'll call Jessie) he constantly flirts with me. Sometimes he likes 2 tickle or grab me in places. I really like him but I just don't understand y he is w/ her still but seems 2 like me more. This has led into many arguments between me and my friend. She constantly claims I'm trying 2 steal her boyfriend and that I flirt constantly w/ him. I swear 2 u, I don't flirt. He flirts w/ me. I know shes not the greatest friend either because she has "backstabbed" me (I guess u could say) many times b 4. My mom says she is jealous of me b cause Jessie and I have been really good friends 4 a while but, I don't know. This is really starting 2 get irritating. I've tried 2 avoid them when they r together now more. I just don't want our friendship 2 break up over some guy. But it seems like she is just letting it go down the drain. So, any advice on how 2 cope w/ a jealous/backstabbing friend??

Please help me out here!!!!!

Thanks


Posts: 4 | From: Maurertown, Va, USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lucylu458
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Member # 15584

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hon,
if your friend got together with one of ur guy friends, then that's great. what matters that is you are not flirting with him. you could tell ur friend to quit flirting and that it doesnt make sense that he's flirting with u when he's already got a gf. and u could tell ur friend to talk to ur guy friend and he'll tell her that ur not flirting with him. hope that helps!
~lucy lu~


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BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by Emmers:
So, any advice on how 2 cope w/ a jealous/backstabbing friend??

Sweetie, that could just as easily apply in reverse, you know.

So you're jealous. Not a big deal, we all get jealous at some point, right? It's all in how you handle it. And right now, I don't really think you're handling this as well as you could be.

Your best friend of 8 years is dating a guy, and you're letting him tickle and grab you? I understand that he's the one making the moves, but it needs to be you who is the one making the stops. The same goes for flirting. Even though he may be tempting you, it's going to have to be you who cuts it all off. Because right now, you really don't have much credibility here. You're actively allowing this guy to flirt with you, which makes your friend think you're trying to steal her boyfriend. In her mind, it's you who's doing the backstabbing!

None of us here can tell why he's with her if he seems to like you more, but it can't be your decision anyway. If he is going to leave her for you, then you'll have the choice whether or not to mess with him. But for now, you are treading on some very thin ice. Are you really willing to lose your best friend of 8 years over this guy? Chances are he'll fade out of the picture relatively soon...this would not ordinarily be the case with your best friend. Are you willing to run the risk of alienating her forever?

If I were you, I'd think long and hard about what you're doing here. No matter how innocent it may seem, things like this tend to blow up over time, and I'd hate to see you lose a solid friendship over something that, in the grand scheme, is so petty. It's your choice to make, and I do hope you make it wisely.

And while I'm here, allow me to gently remind you not to use "netspeak" around here. Writing "to" instead of "2" is just one more easy keystroke, and it makes things a whole heck of lot easier to understand. Same goes for things like "be" (one more keystroke), and "for" (two additional keystrokes). It's not that hard, darlin', and it'll make you come across far more clearly.

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

¡Siendo padrote no es cil!


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Emmers
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Member # 15962

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Thanks for your advice.

I totally understand where you are coming from. But I wish you knew the whole story. Believe me, it is way to long to post on in this forum. Yes, I realize that I could stop how Jessie flirts w/ me and you are saying that I'm not trying to. I've done everything I can 2 stop it all which brings up the reason that I said I don't hang around them to much anymore when they are together. Tell me, why would I want to break up their relationship anyways?? I told you I was happy for her. Like I said, I wish I could post all 8 years of memories on this forum, but I can't. Thanks again for your advice. I really appreciate you all reading a/b my pathetic little problem and taking the time to reply. I really appreciate it!!

Oh and by the way, I'm sorry you couldn't read my "lingo" very clearly. I just hope you got what I was trying to say!!!!


Thank You


Posts: 4 | From: Maurertown, Va, USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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