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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Troubled Teen Needs Help

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Author Topic: Troubled Teen Needs Help
kristinmarie23
Neophyte
Member # 15937

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Okay...I have this *dilemma*. I'm totally head over heels for this guy I work with. I've known him for almost a year and a half and have liked him for almost as long. The only problem is he has a girlfriend. The girl is a complete [beast], takes him for granted, and treats him unfairly. He deserves better than that. He's admitted he's had feelings for me too. I'm not one to break up a relationship, but I don't want to see him treated like a dog. Please help! What should I do?

[language]

[This message has been edited by BruinDan (edited 12-15-2003).]


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BruinDan
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Member # 3072

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quote:
Originally posted by kristinmarie23:
He deserves better than that.

Isn't that his decision to make, sweetie?

I think it's admirable that you want to step in and save the world here, but this really is not your choice at all. I think we've all seen people we adore who are locked with people that treat them terribly, and I know how awful it feels to know that you could be the one to make things better.

But you know, people are sentient beings who are quite capable of making decisions all on their own. When he wakes up to the fact that you're better for him, he will make his move, dump his girlfriend, and you'll be free to take up with him. This could take days, this could take years, this could not even happen at all. The question is how long you're willing to wait for the mere possibility.

If you bust in here, you are going to draw ire from both sides. She'll see you as the devil, he'll see you (in the back of his mind) as the one who stepped in and messed with "what might have been." You've got to let this one die on its own if you want to have any credibility whatsoever. Even if that is painful for you.

And you know, you might want to sort of pull back a bit from this whole scene. Having you up front and center can really hinder this guy's decision-making process. Aside from the obvious notion that it probably colors his thoughts a bit to have you ready, willing, and available right in front of his face; it also makes things a little unfair for you. A little distance between you and this guy will give him the chance to see what it's like not to have you by his side, which he can then weigh against what it'd be like to have you two be together. So you might want to keep that in mind as you plot out what to do.

Best of luck to the both of you, and please let us know how it turns out.

------------------
BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

¡Siendo padrote no es cil!


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HookedOnPhonics
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Member # 13413

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Oh my god!I have the same problem.This guy i like ALOT!is my best friends b/f but i think he desevers WAYY better then her!i talk to him more then she does and i don't know i if i should tell my friend or tell him?since your going through the same thing.Your advice would help me thanks!!finally i found someone who is going through something like this too!!!
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