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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Should I...??

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Author Topic: Should I...??
chezcake
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Member # 15934

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Okay, I'm currently 14 almost 15. I have a boyfriend who is 17 and has a son who is almost one. His son is not mine. I do kno the real mother and everything. But lets call him "Joe." Joe wants the child to have a mother figure in his life. Well Joe asked me if it would b alright if the child caleld me mommy. (He's just learnin how to talk) I want to but see i dont kno what other people with think since iim still a virgin. should i say yes and be there for joe. he's like one of my best friends. i just need to kno if this is a good idea or a bad. i wasnt sure if this goes here but i thought mayb it would. if u could respond i would love some help. THANX!!


~*Chezcake*~


Posts: 22 | From: Ravenna, Ohio, USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
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Er, what does this child's mother think? Personally, I'd say it's inappropriate, and likely to be confusing. Unless you're ready to make a life-long commitment to this guy and his baby, leave well enough alone. Playing house can be fun, but when you're dealing with someone who's a real person rather than a baby doll, it just isn't fair.

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Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

. . .Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach

[This message has been edited by Milke (edited 12-15-2003).]


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chezcake
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the mother wants me to be called "mommy" i mean i want to be there but i dont want to be the one supportin the child. it wasnt my fault they had it. but would it b okay if he calls me mommy. he sorta already does
Posts: 22 | From: Ravenna, Ohio, USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by chezcake:
...but would it b okay if he calls me mommy...

I'm really not sure that this would be in the best interests of the child.

I don't know much about child psychology (that's my brother's domain), but I have serious problems with people who (even inadvertently) mess with a child's mind. If he starts calling you mommy and then suddenly you're gone, my gut tells me this cannot be good. I realize that memory patterns at age one may not be very developed, but if I were you I would not want to run the risk of doing any damage to this child at all.

My take on things like this is that it's better to err on the side of caution. Being almost 15 tells us that statistically, your relationship is not likely to last until this child turns 18. It certainly could happen, but it is not very likely. So for you to step in as "mom" right now would be a little bit premature. If your boyfriend is looking for a mother figure, I'd suggest he'd be better off settling down with someone who is "of age," and who is looking to settle down with a young man who has a baby boy. You can certainly help take care of the baby, and he can babble anything he wants to you, but I don't think it'd be a great idea to encourage the whole "mother" idea especially when you're not sure how long you'll be around. Does that make sense?

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BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

¡Siendo padrote no es cil!


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chezcake
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well see his son is already startin to call me mommy. and well when im of age to get married, i think that joe could be the one. i mean he's like no other. both joe and the real mother want me to be in the baby's life no matter what. no matter what happens between me and joe im always goin to be around. i've known him like my whole life. if joe is willing to risk havin the kid call me mommy should i? i mean it was his and the real mothers idea not mine.
Posts: 22 | From: Ravenna, Ohio, USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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quote:
Originally posted by chezcake:
i mean it was his and the real mothers idea not mine.

My dear, whose idea it was is not the issue. What's best for the baby is what we're debating here.

I'm sure Joe is like no other, and I'm sure right now you intend to be around forever. But the future is a tricky thing to predict, especially with statistics working against you.

At this point in the game, why rush things? You've got all the time in the world to decide what's going to happen, and if Joe's child is still calling you "mommy" five years from now, perhaps you could address the issue at that point. But for now, why not worry more about being a mother figure and less about being called one?

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BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

¡Siendo padrote no es cil!


Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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