Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » forgetting someone

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: forgetting someone
MCJoel
Activist
Member # 15538

Icon 1 posted      Profile for MCJoel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
How do you forget someone? I just wanted to hear all your different opinions and ideas based on your personal experiences. It feels so hard to do, how can your forget someone you've been romantically involved with (crush,partner etc...) In your opinion whats the best way to do it?
Posts: 83 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KCallahan
Activist
Member # 15888

Icon 1 posted      Profile for KCallahan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This isn't encouraging, but I don't. I've never forgotten a single person that meant something to me. I just move on. If they hurt me, then my memories are definite warnings not to go back to that person.

Besides, at least two people I've dated have turned out to be better friends than they were significant others. So... I really don't know what tell you, because in my experience, you don't forget, you just stop seeing yourself as attached to them. Once you do, you move on.


Posts: 50 | From: Austin, TX, USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
Activist
Member # 5594

Icon 1 posted      Profile for celery     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it's impossible to *forgot* someone. But it is impossible to move on and find someone new and just have them as faded memories. It takes a while to do that because I know from personal expierience, it just takes patience.
Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Brodda
Neophyte
Member # 15906

Icon 6 posted      Profile for Brodda     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
ok well i guess what i have to say isnt really that incourgeing either, if you just mean how do you get over somone...well all i can do is share my story.
i went out with this girl, she was acually my first gf, but not my first crush. i have a bad history of falling for somone then not tellen her how i feel. anyway, i went out with her for about 2-3 month's. pretty much totally fell for her, even though she half treated me like dirt, but that isnt the point... she dumped me, thing's got complicated, i ended up living for a while in the same house with her for a while (we were younger so she still lived with her mom) but i still loved her, that messed me up bad enough, then she went out with my best friend (there are other issue's i have with him that i wont bother you with) me and daniel didnt talk for like 6 month's, but seen's how neither of us really had alot of other friend's we could hang out with alot, we got over our differences, and are once agian best bro's. we both figured out how much of a unacceptable term to use on anyone she was, and she was. sadly there was a 2 year period in between the time i met her, started goin out with her, till i got over it. i know im pathetic. we talked about it, laughed about it, and just stuck together. so i think the best thing you can do here, is just talk about it with somone who you can trust, and has been through the same thing, and can under stand where you're comin from. give it time, and try to move on

good luck to you

alway's you're friend

Simon

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 12-16-2003).]


Posts: 10 | From: Missoula, Montana | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
crepe
Neophyte
Member # 14675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for crepe     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
what do you mean forget? forget as in really *forget* that you ever met them, or just you don't think of them everyday anymore?
Posts: 14 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MCJoel
Activist
Member # 15538

Icon 1 posted      Profile for MCJoel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
what i mean by "forget" is not forgetting you ever met that person but just not thinking about him/her every day a lot of the time.
Posts: 83 | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
crepe
Neophyte
Member # 14675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for crepe     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i see...then i'm afraid my opinion is similiar to some of the previous posters...i have never actually 'forgotten' someone that have meant something to me. it's been over three months. i still think about my ex constantly...and lovers before that too...but not so constantly.

i think the goal is to get to a stage where you can think about them without having any *emotion* attached to the thoughts. with my ex, there is still is, but the others...are more like scrapes of memory. when i've reached that stage it doesn't bother me, but thinking about my ex does, does that make sense? actually...i wonder if anyone has actually manage to 'forget' someone so completely.

of course, the best way to go about it is to find someone else. but finding someone you *really* like is hard. VERY hard IMO. maybe that's just me...when i think about how much time and energy i waste thinking about it, it depresses me. but even if you do, it doens't mean you won't think about them anymore...just without emotion attached to it cos your emotion has gone somewhere else, you know what i mean? i believe no-one can *completely* replace another person...even in thoughts, cos we're all different. but in the meantime, please try to concentrate on something else, e.g. schoolwork (it will pay off in the long run) and try to use the energy productively. that's what i'm doing! good luck!


Posts: 14 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cassiggity
Activist
Member # 15946

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cassiggity     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You know that expression, "Time Heals All Wounds"? That's your answer.

Any time something hard happens, it hurts like heck for a while and then it gradually starts to hurt less.

A friend of mine was murdered last year, and I thought I'd never get over it. Every day I woke up and it hurt. Really bad. I cried a lot. Even when I wasn't thinking about it, there was a knot in my stomach, and I'd notice the knot and be like "Oh yeah, Gentry died."

And I can't explain how I "got over it". Because I'm still not really over it - but it just hurts less with time. And sometimes I still think about it and it makes me sad, but it's certainly not always in my mind. Which is good.

Relationships are kind of the same. The hurts will wear off, and then you'll be left with a kind of bittersweet feeling. But at least that helps you to remember the good.


Posts: 40 | From: RI | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
crepe
Neophyte
Member # 14675

Icon 1 posted      Profile for crepe     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i'm really sorry about your friend cass it makes all our relationship problems seem so small
Posts: 14 | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
John72
Neophyte
Member # 15887

Icon 1 posted      Profile for John72     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You never get over those things, but learn to live with them.

And the same goes for relationships etc. I had a g/f who I was with for 3 months, then we split up and altho I wanted to split up with her, I still felt I wanted to be with her. Now, I still love her in my own little way and think about her from time to time, wunder how she is etc, but I have moved on...looking for another g/f.

Hope things sort them selfves out, takecare, John.


Posts: 16 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3