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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » strange feeling

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Author Topic: strange feeling
MCJoel
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Member # 15538

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i feel strange today. i am 19 and still a virgin, and all around me all i hear about is sex. but the thing is, i have always felt sex to be something special, so i haven't really looked to having it with anybody just for the sake of doing it, which is what many people do. in high school, i can remember two girls who were interested in me, i mean were interested in getting in my pants, (im sorry if this sounds as though i'm bragging, trust me im not)but i never really paid no attention to them because i thought, as i said, that i just didn't want to have sex just for the sake of having it and with anybody available. but now i'm feeling strange, because i feel that if keep this idea going on i'll be a virgin 'til i'm about 80!!!! finding someone special is hard, probably never will happen so, what's the point? i guess i should just be a regular guy and do it with anybody, it seems to be the normal thing to do or isn't it?
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Jules
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It's up to you BUT I really honestly believe it's special to wait for the right person to come along. I know, it seems like they will never come, right?! I just finished having this conversation with my sister considering I'm always single. There are times when I just feel like going up to that one cute guy in one of my classes and saying, hey you wanna go out? But that would be stupid, I would be dating someone just because, not because I think they're the most incredible person and they're right for me but because they're a "guy." The same goes for having sex with just anyone, do what's right in your heart.
Forgot to add something, I know you mentioned "it's hard finding someone," I agree. But I'll tell you what you've probably been told a million times, you can never "find" these special people, they just suddenly come into your life. It's only happened twice to me and both times they were guys I hadn't even looked at, never thought of, they were just suddenly there. It seemed like I was chasing all these other guys wondering, "maybe him, or maybe him?," when this special guy was standing there and I never knew it, til I got to know him. Ironically this special guy was my "date to a movie" on a film set. I didn't notice him all day and even when I was told that he would be my "movie date," I thought nothing of it. It struck me so hard that I couldn't look, it hasn't stopped me from looking but deep down I know I won't find what I'm looking for, I have to let it happen.

[This message has been edited by Jules (edited 11-28-2003).]


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XxWishIKnewXx
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Member # 15693

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Oh You've waited this long - Keep waiting!! It'll really really be worth it once you find that special someone. And you will! You should be proud of yourself!! I wish I could have waited until I was 19....... ....Or until I was married..... Ohhh welll..whats done is done. Good luck finding ..her..
Posts: 29 | From: Augusta, Georgia, USA | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lilmsirishrage
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I don't think *all* guys just go around having sex with anyone. Some do, but actually, I know quite a few awesome guys who don't. Don't worry, like Jules said, special people can appear out of nowhere. My boyfriend was like you in that he preferred to wait until he found a special person. So, he was a 19 and even *gasp* a 20 year old virgin (as was I). It's not like we were out looking for special people so we could have sex =). The fact that our relationship evolved out of a close friendship made it a lot easier to talk about things such as safer sex, which is so important. If for you sex is something special, don't force yourself to go along with what "everyone" supposedly does. There are a lot of guys out there like you, but I bet many of them don't like to tell people since guys are "supposed" to have sex with anyone. Gotta love the stereotypes we're all taught through high school!

[This message has been edited by lilmsirishrage (edited 11-29-2003).]


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chrissy02
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You shouldn't feel strange at all! im 20, and im still a virgin. I want to wait until i meet someone really special, maybe even marriage (i'll decide when i finally meet someone special!) its hard for me cuz just about everyone else i know has had sex, and it comes up in conversation quite often. but im not about to just have sex with anyone at a party or something. i think touching someone else's gentials you barely even know is disgusting. in fact, i would love to meet a guy whos a virgin too. that would be the best. I came very close to having sex with one of my ex boyfriends, (we talked about it, etc) and now im so glad i waited, cuz things between us didn't work out, i thought i was in love with him, but now i know i wasn't. so hang on, and know that there are other people out there like you!
Posts: 13 | From: Wales, WI USA | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Just as a reminder: a LOT of people in their teens and early twenties who SAY they have been sexually active have not been, or have not been to the degree they say they have.

So, if you want to keep waiting, you keep waiting. That's all about you, and it's different for everyone -- and flatly, if you're able to make your own choices despite what everyone else is doing or SAYING they're doing, you're likely already way more prepared than most to hanndle a lot of things, sex included.


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hehe
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Member # 5505

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i know exactly how you feel! i know alot about sex,ect but i remain a virgin but though im still in high school!i havent found anyone special and thats exactly what im waiting for when it comes along. i know it seems like forever and somethingsi think about just going for it but then i know it goes against what i feel and this is probaly one of the most strongest feelings i have towards anything. ive done stuff,sure enough but i want to be in love when i have sex to love someone and feel good with them..awwww wouldnt life be grand!
Posts: 36 | From: Houston, TX USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CGeek2k
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Hey man, its all good. Im 18 and Ive only kissed 1 girl. My roommate is also 18 and he has never kissed a girl. It's kinda hard to know people that lost their virginity when they were 14 or 15 but hey, when it finally happens, it will be that much better for the wait.

I hope.


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Sunny_Dayz
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WOW! I'm so happy to hear that other people have waited until they were older. I was beginning to think I was the only person who didn't kiss someoe until I was eighteen!

As for loosing your virginity. I think that if there is any question of whether or not you are ready to loose it, you should keep it. I think if you just giv your virginity up to the first person that comes along, you will regret it a lot.


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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(Just a reminder: please remember only to speak for YOURSELF in posts like this, without speculating about what-ifs and what something may be like for someone else. For example, plenty of people have casual first intercourse and it goes just fine for them, and isn't something they regret -- often even for those who do, they too are speculating about how things might've gone, with no way of knowing. Choosing TO become sexually active at a certain age or milestone or choosing not to are BOTh equally valid choices, and both equally possible to be hunky-dory or not.

So, let's just remember that there are no good or bad sexual choices for everyone, nor any one thing that's always the best for everyone. There is only what we find out does or doesn't work or be as we'd like for ourselves.)

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Sunny_Dayz
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hey hun.

I know exactly what you are going through. When i was eighteen I felt the same way you do now. I hated hearing all about sex from my friends, and I kept wondering what it would be like to have it myself. My boyfriend at the time was much more experienced than I was. He would have been willing to wait, but I wanted to see waht it was like. I slept with him for all of the wrong reasons, and I regret it now.

I agree with the above statement. If there is any question in your mind about wether or not you should have sex, mabie you should wait. don't worry, you will have plenty of opportunities in your life to have sex, and in my experiences, it is much bette with someone you LOVE.


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John72
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Hi all, I'm new to those forums and this is my first post!

I would like to say that I am nearly 19 and still a virgin, I somewhat feel stange about it but I want to lose it to a speacil girl/lass. I have had offers in the past, but turned them down as I have not felt they where spaicl enough to lose it to.

One thing that bugs me, why do we feel stange to be a virgin? From where I see it, there is nothing wrong with it.

Anyways, thanks alot for listening, John.


Posts: 16 | From: UK | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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