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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Seeing ex for first time since i cheated on him

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Author Topic: Seeing ex for first time since i cheated on him
just me myself and i
Member # 14987

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Well my relationship with my ex was always really complicated, and to cut a very long story short it ended because i slept with someone else. this weekend one of my very close friends, (who happens to be his best friend and was always one of the problems in our relationship - but that's a different kettle of fish altogether), has asked me to go shopping with her, my ex and some of her friends from college. I'm trying to find someone from my school to come with me aswell so it'll be less awkward. But i don't know how to cope with the situation, i still love my ex very much but i also know i hurt him a lot. I jsut don't know whether to go or not, and if i do go how to act around him.
Any comments appreciated

Luv *Me*

Posts: 7 | From: Norfolk, UK | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5505

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GO! go see him,see what happens. if you still feel like you love him,then let him know. you were wrong to betray someone you love and it will take a while for him if ever to trust you,but at least its out on the table. you should go though, it could be something you'll regret.
Posts: 36 | From: Houston, TX USA | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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IF he chooses to trust you again, and that's his choice to make. In a case where someone's been hurt by someone else, it's up to the injured party to decide whether they want contact with the other person or not. Personally, I'd back out, and give things more time to calm down.

Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

. . .Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach

Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3072

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I'm going to agree with my smarter half would probably be best for you to let things simmer down a bit before you dive in a cause a ruckus.

However, if you do decide to throw caution to the wind and go, I'd definitely make sure you had another friend to hang with. You're going to want to give this guy a lot of space, and I'd refrain from going up to him or communicating much with him. I know the typical tendency is to want to rush up and pull the "I still love you" line, but you're asking for trouble if you do that.

You are right that cheating does hurt a person deeply. This comes from experience, and from watching the movie Unfaithful last week, where I learned that not only is Diane Lane absolutely saucy-hot, but that sleeping with someone else while one is committed can raise all sorts of hell. It's done, it happened, now comes the "hell" part. There's no point in apologizing or making a big stink...just leave things be and give the man some room.

I hope it goes well for you if you do decide to go. Just remember to tread lightly. If he comes up to you, be cool and keep a fair bit of distance...but otherwise, remain at arms-length just to be on the safe side. I'm told that riots in UK shopping malls are frowned upon.

BruinDan, "Number Three," PHOM

Beware the naked man who offereth you his pants.

Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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