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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Fed Up Trying to Make Friends

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Author Topic: Fed Up Trying to Make Friends
MichSM2
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I don't really consider myself shy, but I have tried (I know it hasn't even been two months of college yet here) and tried and I have no friends! The people who I considered "friends" will never call or email me back. I am always doing the initiating of plans, but if they want to do something, they never contact me. It makes me so angry and sad.

What am I doing wrong? Do I look ugly? Do I talk funny? Do I look scary? I just don't understand. I feel after these two months, it's too late to make friends. I just hate how I go out all my way and no one even responds back. I am being natural too! Help!


Posts: 93 | From: Michigan, USA | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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well, i don't know what you look like. but i can say this. when i started college, the biggest mistake i made was that i didn't immediately start to socialize. i had a few friends i had known before, so i was hoping that would work itself out just fine. by the second week, people had made their cliques, and my old friends found new friends and didn't have as much time for me. it didn't help that i was a nerd living in the jock dorm. i had nothing in common with anybody.

did i graduate totally alone and dejcted? no. what i did was i joined a club. there was a student-run computer lab on campus and i became active in that, and the people around me became my friends. now that i'm 400 miles away and in graduate school, they still call me and they even came to visit me for my birthday.

okay, so the friends you have now are kinda weak, but there has gotta be some folks on campus (Northwestern is a BIG place) who share your interests. have you tried attending meetings for on campus orgs? singing groups maybe? rally committee? church groups? anarchist groups?

there's gotta be a place where you fit, so please don't give up just yet

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MichSM2
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that's the problem:

I have nothing in common with people at this school. I almost seclude myself to my own interests, because people will be first to label me weirdly: you're an African-American female who watches anime, listens to Japanese pop music, wears non-fashionable clothes, and don't like partying? You're BLACK?

That's why I just seclude to myself. I'm too "weird" and "boring."


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Faeryprinces
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Dont take this in a mean way, because i by no means mean for it to come off that way... But have you considered the fact that you may be talking yourself into having no friends?? Listen to yourself.

"I'm too "weird" and "boring."

^right there, you are calling yourself weird and boring, and thats the reason that you seclude yourself. Be proud of who you are and what you're interested in, and dont care about what you think others perceive as weird or boring. I personally think the fact that you're interested in those things makes you unique and interesting, i would want to get to know you. But if you lock yourself in your room and you dont put yourself out on the line...you're never going to meet people who may find you interesting and who may want to further get to know you. You cant put a wall up before you've started...know what i mean? So you've met some people that wont email you back...go knock on some other peoples doors! Ask if someone has a can opener for a can of soup, even if you dont have a can of soup... at least you can talk to people!

Listen, I know its hard...I've been there too, a lot of us have. But sometimes you just have to re-evaluate what you're doing to yourself. YOU have to make your college experience great, everything starts with you. As long as you're willing to go out there and be in people's faces and talk to them and get to know people, they're going to want to get to know the "cool girl" who likes anime, listens to japanese pop, and wears her own style. It is by no means too late to make friends either...you have 3 or 4 more years too!! You will meet TONS of people!!

Dont talk yourself into a corner where you're all alone, talk yourself out of the corner and into the crowd. It'll be a life lesson well learned i promise

[This message has been edited by Faeryprinces (edited 11-24-2003).]


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duelist
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quote:
…you're an African-American female who watches anime, listens to Japanese pop music, wears non-fashionable clothes, and don't like partying?

Wow, you're just like me. Minus being African-American. That I am not, but everything else, oh yeah!

Anyway, is there an anime club at your college? That would be a great way to meet people. You know, huddling in a darkened room in front of a projector screen while Heero rips up Relena's party invitation? Oh yes. Good times. But really, join clubs! You really have nothing to lose.

I had a hard time making friends for the first couple of months of university. Everyone seemed to be clicking and I just wasn't, but eventually I relaxed a bit, and (as cheesy as this sounds) was myself. I found people with similar interests, and it just went from there. You'll be fine too, promise.

- Duelist


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crazycrazy62916
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You know I used to struggle making friends back in grade school a lot too. I always told myself I was dumb and I was always concerned about what others thought of me. Now I am in Highschool and one of my friends told me a quote..."not everyone is going to like you why waste time on those who don't" so now i live my life by this all the time i know that my friends like me and stick by me and for those that don't i know not everyone is going to like me and its there loss not mine so im sure if you carry this quote i may help you out a bit it really helped me out with my self-confidence to make new pals good luck...
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MichSM2
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quote:
Originally posted by duelist:
Wow, you're just like me. Minus being African-American. That I am not, but everything else, oh yeah!

Anyway, is there an anime club at your college? That would be a great way to meet people. You know, huddling in a darkened room in front of a projector screen while Heero rips up Relena's party invitation? Oh yes. Good times. But really, join clubs! You really have nothing to lose.

I had a hard time making friends for the first couple of months of university. Everyone seemed to be clicking and I just wasn't, but eventually I relaxed a bit, and (as cheesy as this sounds) was myself. I found people with similar interests, and it just went from there. You'll be fine too, promise.

- Duelist


Wow, I'm a Sailor Moon fan by heart but I also watch other anime. While I didn't extensively watch Gundam Wing, I listened and downloaded many of Two-Mix's songs. They are SO awesome!!!! lol

I just wish import stuff wasn't expensive!!


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logic_grrl
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quote:
Anyway, is there an anime club at your college?

And if there isn't, how about starting one?

Stick up posters on noticeboards (or wherever else is appropriate - you may need to get permission first) asking anyone interested in starting an anime club to contact you.

Even if only 3 people reply, you've then got 3 people who share your interests .


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duelist
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quote:
Wow, I'm a Sailor Moon fan by heart but I also watch other anime.

Yeah, me too. LOL It's official, we are one and the same. Two-Mix is awesome, and yeah import stuff is stupidly expensive…my friend just spent $200 on an album, two singles and a box set…but this is off-topic. Yes, start the club if there isn't one! I guarantee you'll get responses. Oh and I'd say we could continue this anime-rich conversation elsewhere but we're not allowed to post e-mail addresses, hehe.

- Duelist


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wobblyheadedjane
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Hmm, I could have sworn there was an anime thread in the It's All About You section. Why not restart one? I know there are plenty of fans on the boards, myself included.

As for joining/making clubs, I totally agree. Usually official school clubs have to be approved by student council (at least here), but even to just hold an informal anime night in a dormitory lounge wouldn't be such a bad idea either. In fact, as a residence advisor, it's one of my favourite activities to organize for my frosh.


Posts: 1679 | From: London, ON | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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