I dont really want to start this article off with "I know this guy" but I guess I have no choice...
I know this is guy, online, and we've been "texting" for about 6 months now and actually dating for about 1 month.
I am curious as to what your opinion is on cybersex, or cyber. I've been thinking about doing it, but not anytime in the near future. I simply wish to gather opinions and thoughts.
I suppose you can't truly understand the emotions of even online relationships, or the impact of words, until you've been with someone online, and none of my friends seem to get that. That's why I'm asking you... please respond. There must be a reason why you clicked my title in the first place.
Posts: 1 | From: My own little world | Registered: Nov 2003
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I actually think that cyber sex is somewhat annoying. Well when perverts try to talk to you. Especially in chat you know what I am saying. I mean if you like this person and you really want to get to know him then that is good but I think it is somewhat gross to have cyber sex. HOpe my opinion helped. ~LYNN~
Posts: 30 | From: Trenton,GA U.S.A | Registered: Oct 2003
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Honestly? I'm not cool with describing my underwear to lecherous people I've never met, and I'm not too comfortable with the idea of someone discovering my steamy conversations on a shared computer, but YMMV. I really think it's a good idea to know someone well -- in person before starting a romantic relationship with them, and would rather talk about one of the many other cool things under the sun than spend my ICQ time trying to sound erotic.
------------------ Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA
Cybersex can be fun, a fantasy world in which you can express your innermost thoughts and desires to a fictional being (they really are until you meet them) and hear theirs with no fear of the problems that would arise during actual sex.
I got caught up the excitement of it when my family first when online. I was 14 and questioning my sexuality so I would have cybersex with women (about half of these admitted to being men at some point leaving me even MORE confused but that's a different story entirely! ).
If cybersex was just the excitement I described above and nothing else then I would tell everyone to go for it-safe sex right from your computer! But it's not quite safe...we can't ever really know who we're talking to and I don't just mean that in a "54 year old man posing as a 15 year old blonde cheerleader" sort of way. Technology has advanced to the point where webcams are relatively inexpensive and seeing the person you're chatting with live at some point is now commonplace. What I mean is that people aren't always what they seem, especially online-all you can truly confirm via the internet is what this person looks like.
There are two (or hey, maybe more) very real people involved during cyber and actually, emotions can and DO get caught up. I vividly remember sobbing after a woman I felt a strong intimate connection to told me she was only joking after we had spoken quite sexually. There are feelings on the line, yours AND his.
Milke raised a good point too, you could definitely be found out on a shared computer (it can track our steps in ways we can't always remember to think of) and I can't think of any amount of fun that would be worth those glares
I'm not trying to tell you it's a good or bad idea, I've had my share of both but whatever you decide to do, be safe. You really do need to treat it like regular ol' sex in some senses. State boundaries and respect his. Good luck
------------------ "My art forgot her tampon and she's bleeding through her jeans, yeah my art don't need no tampon she'll just bleed through her jeans"-Alix Olson
i used to really have fun with it, now i do once in a great while (the newness wore off).
it's never fun when someone is just plain bothering you... i don't think that's what's being asked about. that's just a pain in the butt!
i like to do it with my husband (emails, mostly, when we're apart but letters tend to be better for such things, i find) and i like to do cybersex chats with 100% strangers now & then.
with my husband it's a giggle, a fun intimacy. with a stranger it's very much that "fictional" aspect that another mentioned.
but i've found that i normally don't get as good as i give & so have become bored with it a lot of times, like i said.. the newness excitement that carried it even when it was dull is gone. and the running into almost only takers rather than givers has been blah. if i wanted just to excite someone else while not being personally aroused, i'd charge for it lol.
Personally, I would only have cybersex with someone I really trust. Just like in-person sex, there's a real intimacy connected with it.
I've only had cybersex twice, a long time ago, with someone I never met face-to-face. (I've also had phone sex -- gosh, remember phones? -- but that was with someone I was dating) The girl I "cybered" with was very real to me, though -- we talked on the phone and sent each other pictures and gifts through the mail -- so I knew and trusted her before we were intimate. And I'll tell you something...the cybersex we had together was amazing. The first time, I talked her through giving herself her very first orgasm -- it was really special. So it can be a wonderful experience if you're careful and get to know the person.
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