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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » asking people out - making them uncomfortable?

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Author Topic: asking people out - making them uncomfortable?
Member # 10152

Icon 1 posted      Profile for jake16     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, I just wonder if anyone could help me out on a quick question. It's pretty simple. The thing is I've never been afraid of the actual act of asking a girl out on a date, but what has always worried me and given me the inevitable cold feet is the idea that I might make them uncomfortable. I personally could care less what the girl's answer is, be it yes, no, or maybe (I'm pretty thick-skinned that way), but I always worry and fret about making them embarassed or uncomfortable. so I guess I'm asking for a girl's opinion on this. Does it make you uncomfortable? I tried to think of it from my perspective, but it just doesn't seem the same, so any imput would be greatly appreciated!! thanks!!
Posts: 6 | From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Milke     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Don't be creepy, don't be overly persistent, and have a sense of humour and allow the object of your affections a chance to politely refuse, or play things off as a joke, and you're all good -- at least in my books. Being asked out is cool. Being asked out by someone who won't leave you alone or believe your answer isn't.

Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

The Earth says Hel-lo!

Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 15200

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well.... i wish that i could say that was always the case, but i know that sometimes, despite how well-mannered etc. the guy (or girl) is, unless i have feelings of that nature for them, then yeah, it does make me uncomfortable. i don't like thinking that the whole time i thought i had this great mutually platonic friendship going on, the guy's been hoping he'll get a chance to work his way into my pants. i mean i know things aren't always that way, and it's unfair of me to say that if a guy's asking me out, he just wants to get lucky, because i know that's not true, but that's honestly kinda how i feel sometimes. really, it depends on the relationship we have, how close we are, and a whole bunch of other factors. sometimes it does end up being fine, and sometimes i feel awkward. i dunno, sorry, i guess this isn't shedding any real light onto the issue for ya. i guess girls (or, well, people in general) really are confusing.
Posts: 18 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8776

Icon 1 posted      Profile for MarvellousPurple     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
A decent thing to keep in mind is this--things are often only uncomfortable or awkward if you make them that way. If you're uncomfortable asking her on a date, she might be uncomfortable; if you just act naturally, then it's not likely to be bad at all.

I don't wanna be like other people are
Don't wanna own a key, don't wanna wash my car
Don't wanna have to work like other people do
I want it to be free, I want it to be true
(New Order)

Posts: 475 | From: Back in Providence, RI | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5706

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Cathexis     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
I think it's a plus if you already know the person. It's easier to say what makes them confortable or not.Asides from that, I tottaly agree with Milke
Posts: 106 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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