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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » asking people out - making them uncomfortable?

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Author Topic: asking people out - making them uncomfortable?
jake16
Neophyte
Member # 10152

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Hey, I just wonder if anyone could help me out on a quick question. It's pretty simple. The thing is I've never been afraid of the actual act of asking a girl out on a date, but what has always worried me and given me the inevitable cold feet is the idea that I might make them uncomfortable. I personally could care less what the girl's answer is, be it yes, no, or maybe (I'm pretty thick-skinned that way), but I always worry and fret about making them embarassed or uncomfortable. so I guess I'm asking for a girl's opinion on this. Does it make you uncomfortable? I tried to think of it from my perspective, but it just doesn't seem the same, so any imput would be greatly appreciated!! thanks!!
Posts: 6 | From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Milke
Activist
Member # 961

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Don't be creepy, don't be overly persistent, and have a sense of humour and allow the object of your affections a chance to politely refuse, or play things off as a joke, and you're all good -- at least in my books. Being asked out is cool. Being asked out by someone who won't leave you alone or believe your answer isn't.

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Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

The Earth says Hel-lo!


Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PebblePerson
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Member # 15200

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well.... i wish that i could say that was always the case, but i know that sometimes, despite how well-mannered etc. the guy (or girl) is, unless i have feelings of that nature for them, then yeah, it does make me uncomfortable. i don't like thinking that the whole time i thought i had this great mutually platonic friendship going on, the guy's been hoping he'll get a chance to work his way into my pants. i mean i know things aren't always that way, and it's unfair of me to say that if a guy's asking me out, he just wants to get lucky, because i know that's not true, but that's honestly kinda how i feel sometimes. really, it depends on the relationship we have, how close we are, and a whole bunch of other factors. sometimes it does end up being fine, and sometimes i feel awkward. i dunno, sorry, i guess this isn't shedding any real light onto the issue for ya. i guess girls (or, well, people in general) really are confusing.
Posts: 18 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
MarvellousPurple
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Member # 8776

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A decent thing to keep in mind is this--things are often only uncomfortable or awkward if you make them that way. If you're uncomfortable asking her on a date, she might be uncomfortable; if you just act naturally, then it's not likely to be bad at all.

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I don't wanna be like other people are
Don't wanna own a key, don't wanna wash my car
Don't wanna have to work like other people do
I want it to be free, I want it to be true
(New Order)


Posts: 475 | From: Back in Providence, RI | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cathexis
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Member # 5706

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I think it's a plus if you already know the person. It's easier to say what makes them confortable or not.Asides from that, I tottaly agree with Milke
Posts: 106 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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