i went out with my ex for a year and 10 months. (he is 18, i am 17.) in the course of that time, i believe we really imagined a future together. (even our parents were convinced we would get married..) anyway, we broke up for 5 months or so. right when i began to accept that we could only be friends, he told me he made a mistake, and was still in love with me. this caused everything to come pouring back. well... we went out for about 2 months, than broke up again. it seemed we fought without fail, once we started dating again. (i think it was because we worried more than we did when we were "just friends".) i am still in love with him. he has a new girlfriend, who he claims to love (one of my friends).. i do not believe that. he says he's over me, but than tells me it hurts him when i talk about my new boyfriend to him. (but he can talk about him new girlfriend to me, when it hurts just as much if not more?) i know that deep down he is hiding his feelings. i know him well enough to know that for a fact. i knew he would come around last time, and i have a feeling he will again this time. (don't know when, but i can see it happening.) his girlfriends bestfriend thinks that he is just with her to replace me. (as do i.... she resembles me a lot... as did the other girls he dated after me. that aggravates me the most.) there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about him... and that isnt fair to my new boyfriend. =\. i just wish i knew how he really felt, and if he is hurting as much as i do. he still has my heart, and ergh i really would do anything to get it back... i just dont know how to go about doing that. i am living inbetween the past and the present. i catch myself saying things i used to say to him, to my new boyfriend, or looking at my new boyfriend the same way would look at my ex, and i hate that, because the memories haunt me, and each time that happens i am reminded of him. i am so torn up over this, and it seems like my hear is never going to mend. any advice is appreciated. <3!
ps: sorry for any typos.
Posts: 1 | From: surfside, florida, united states | Registered: Oct 2003
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