My best friend is 18 years old, a freshman in college, and about 100 miles away. 100 miles away physically, but it also feels like she is 100 miles away emotionally. I'm almost 16, a sophomore in high school, and still living at home. My best friend and I have been friends for several years, and the age difference never mattered until this past summer and when she started college. Now all she talks about is partying, hooking up with guys, drinking, and stuff I know a little on but can't really relate to because of the huge gap between high school and college. She still calls me every day and we talk, only about her though. She tells me everything going on up in her college town and about what a crazy night she had last night, but I don't tell her much about me anymore, because I can't. I just don't think she really cares that much about me since she moved and made tons of new friends who are her age and whatever. I just feel really bad because we're drifting apart and it's like she doesn't notice or care. I want my best friend back.
Posts: 119 | From: SoRoa | Registered: Aug 2002
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Been there, and done it, right about at your age with my best friend at the time.
Thing is, there's no easy answer that I know of. For a lot of people, college is the first time they've lived on their own and been independent, and that often results not only in some out-of-control or erratic behaviour, but a serious severing of their "old"lives, or at least, very substantial difference because they're dazzled by their new stuff.
And yes, it sucks. But you know, it's not likely really about you. It's about her.
So, how about you write her a letter with some of this? I do think you have to allow for some distance to be there -- it's going to be, no matter how close you are, at least for a little while, and in some cases, that's just when friends go their own ways (and that could be the case if you were her same age as well), but you don't have to allow for her neglecting to ask how you are, what you've been doing, and you also get to make limits in what you want to hear about.
Maybe you should try talking to your friend and telling her how you feel. I mean maybe she just doesn't understand just because she makes other friends doesn't mean she isn't your friend. She just wants to let you know how much fun it is going to be when you go to college or get older. Maybe you should try to share somethings about you for a change. You know she is your best friend she probably wants to know how you are doing. You could tell her about boyfriends that relates some to her guy deals ya know. If you need anymore help or anything [don't send me an email because it's against the Guidelines, and I really oughta know that since I just signed up on this site and agreed to those same Guidelines this morning! Boy am I embarrassed.]
[This message has been edited by BruinDan (edited 10-19-2003).]
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