Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My best friend

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: My best friend
Member # 9461

Icon 9 posted      Profile for tigress     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
My best friend is 18 years old, a freshman in college, and about 100 miles away. 100 miles away physically, but it also feels like she is 100 miles away emotionally. I'm almost 16, a sophomore in high school, and still living at home. My best friend and I have been friends for several years, and the age difference never mattered until this past summer and when she started college. Now all she talks about is partying, hooking up with guys, drinking, and stuff I know a little on but can't really relate to because of the huge gap between high school and college. She still calls me every day and we talk, only about her though. She tells me everything going on up in her college town and about what a crazy night she had last night, but I don't tell her much about me anymore, because I can't. I just don't think she really cares that much about me since she moved and made tons of new friends who are her age and whatever. I just feel really bad because we're drifting apart and it's like she doesn't notice or care. I want my best friend back.
Posts: 119 | From: SoRoa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Heather     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Been there, and done it, right about at your age with my best friend at the time.

Thing is, there's no easy answer that I know of. For a lot of people, college is the first time they've lived on their own and been independent, and that often results not only in some out-of-control or erratic behaviour, but a serious severing of their "old"lives, or at least, very substantial difference because they're dazzled by their new stuff.

And yes, it sucks. But you know, it's not likely really about you. It's about her.

So, how about you write her a letter with some of this? I do think you have to allow for some distance to be there -- it's going to be, no matter how close you are, at least for a little while, and in some cases, that's just when friends go their own ways (and that could be the case if you were her same age as well), but you don't have to allow for her neglecting to ask how you are, what you've been doing, and you also get to make limits in what you want to hear about.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 15168

Icon 7 posted      Profile for ~Jasons*Baby~     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Maybe you should try talking to your friend and telling her how you feel. I mean maybe she just doesn't understand just because she makes other friends doesn't mean she isn't your friend. She just wants to let you know how much fun it is going to be when you go to college or get older. Maybe you should try to share somethings about you for a change. You know she is your best friend she probably wants to know how you are doing. You could tell her about boyfriends that relates some to her guy deals ya know. If you need anymore help or anything [don't send me an email because it's against the Guidelines, and I really oughta know that since I just signed up on this site and agreed to those same Guidelines this morning! Boy am I embarrassed.]

[This message has been edited by BruinDan (edited 10-19-2003).]

Posts: 30 | From: Trenton,GA U.S.A | Registered: Oct 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:

Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3