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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Lets just be friends

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Author Topic: Lets just be friends
Member # 12643

Icon 10 posted      Profile for DillingerEscapePlan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Heh, that's a response i've got pretty used to

Y'see, socialisng isn't my strong point. Meeting someone new at a club, and going home with them that night isn't my thing.

I just can't do that, I have to get to know someone before I date them, engage in intercorse, even fool around with them.

Because of this i've become real good friends with almost every girl i've fancied, which has led to the eventual "I just want to be friends".

But that's not my problem, my problem lies with my best friend of 3 years. I've got pretty damn close to her, so close infact that she has told me some incredibly personal stuff.

Recently we've been getting pretty flirty, just mucking around. Now, I know she likes me and she knows I like her (thank you drunken phone calls! )...

...but here's the problem. Everytime we get closer, she shys away. I know she's had sex before, and I know she finds me physically attractive...but she is very hesitant about taking our relationship further and last night the "I just want to be friends" line came up which confused the hell out of me, and her girlfriends!

I really like her and want to be with her, but I also wouldn't put a relationship before our friendship.

I haven't spoken to her since, her phones been off the hook/engaged for hours!

My mates have all told me that she's just a "cock-tease" and I should forget about it...but I really care about her, what should I say the convey how I feel without giving her the wrong impression?


Posts: 1 | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 8067

Icon 1 posted      Profile for logic_grrl     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Well, you could start off by saying some of what you've said here - that you really like her and want to be with her, but that you wouldn't put a a relationship before your friendship, and that you'd really like to know where things stand.

If you let her know that you're prepared to accept whatever she has to say, that increases the chances that she'll feel able to give you a straightforward answer.

And she's the only person who can tell you what's going on in her mind. Maybe she likes you as a friend but isn't sexually attracted to you (you can think that someone's "attractive" in an objective way without being personally attracted to them); maybe she is attracted to you but isn't looking for a romantic relationship right now; maybe she's confused about what she feels. Maybe she doesn't feel ready - having had sex before doesn't automatically mean someone is always "ready" thereafter. Maybe it's something else altogether.

But the only way you'll find out is by asking ...

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8472

Icon 1 posted      Profile for AlwaysWorried     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Just as a note, taking your relationship a bit further doesn't mean having sex. That might come, but I'd guess that most successfull relationships didn't start with sex as being a major objective.
Posts: 125 | From: Leicestershire, England | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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