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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Boys vs. Girls

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Author Topic: Boys vs. Girls
angelicblonde
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Here's my question for all you girls out there. Do any of you feel that being friends with a guy, or many guys for that matter, gives you amuch better relationship than you would normally have with other girls? Because lately, I've realized that guys are much more fun to be around and they rarely get into fights with each other and generally are better people! I dont think I'm the only one that feels like this but I just wanted your opinions, agreeing or disagreeing!

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~Angel~


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blond ambition
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Personally, no offense to girls at all, but i have ALWAYS been able to get along better with guys than girls, in my experience all the girls ive known, growing up, well most of them, are too high strung and turn on each other, its all about competition with them, they can even turn their bestfriends into potential enemies if they pose a threat. One of my old bestfriends used to blame me for guys not likeing her...
Guys are more laid back and dont deal with that, easy going just want to have fun. But thats just how it was for me. It could be diffrent other places, or for diffrent people.
Thats just me. I just simply found it easier being around guys, easy to talk to and laugh with, without all the drama.

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angelicblonde
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I totally agree, girls are way too dramatic. I mean yesh its always nice to have a girlfriend to chat about guys with, but for me, its just as east to chat about guys with other guys. My boyfriend is definately my best friend.

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~Angel~


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blond ambition
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Mine is as well...

Just the other day i was talking to him about this exact topic, thats why i was so quick to jump in on it. I told him i was glad i dont have to deal with that anymore.

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DiamondGirl2K
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quote:
Originally posted by angelicblonde:
My boyfriend is definately my best friend.

I agree completely. I have only one girl that I consider my best friend. But I've found that it's easier to talk to my boyfriend than it is to my best friend! I can talk to him about anything: school, family, etc. I don't feel uncomfortable talking to him about anything. But with my female best friend, I feel awkward and uncomfortable.
I don't understand that because I always thought that two girls could relate better than a guy and a girl. But I guess I was wrong. I also think that some females are just too dramatic for me. Always rolling eyes, who looks better than who and all that stuff. Just a waste of time. I never hear a guy say "oh he think he look good" or anything like that. But I hear girls say stuff like "Why her hair look like that?" or "I look better than she do." I can talk to lots of guys better than girls sometimes.

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*DiamondGirl*
~N~
*Boogie Black*
9/27/01
Still Going Strong!!!
Forever and Always!!!

[This message has been edited by DiamondGirl2K (edited 03-03-2003).]

[This message has been edited by DiamondGirl2K (edited 03-03-2003).]


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angelicblonde
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I'm glad we all agree, I wish someone who disagreed would post too, but its all good. Anyway, I hate it how girls constantly diss each other and primp and always have that need to look perfect. I mean, yes I wear makeup and I try to look my best but I dont diss other people cuz they didnt primp "the right way" or their hair isnt "cool". Guys have it easier, well except for some things such as.... lets say their penises.

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~Angel~


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blond ambition
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I too have at least one close friend thats a girl.
There are things i can talk to her about that i cant with my guy, and i can talk to him with some things that i cant talk to her...i can talk to her about my insecurities, i do sometimes with my guy, but she totally understands, her being a girl and all, things that my guy doesnt understand...
It can be easy talking to guy, when you need a guys perspective, and same goes for a girl.

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Heather
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You know, it's never okay, here or elsewhere, to say one "kind" of person/group -- based on gender, based on race, based on socioeconomic staus -- are unilaterally "better people" than another. Not only is it simply not so in such a general way, it's a form of bigotry. Please be aware of that. I'm fairly certain you didn't intend it that way, but that is what it is.

That said, it's not any more unusual to have gender preferences when it comes to friends than it is to have them in regard to sexual partners, something which we accept about most people just fine. In the same vein, you may find those preferences change over time. In my teens and early twenties, most of my platonic friends (though in hindsight, to be honest, some were sexually charged with the heterosexual men I was friends with) were also men rather than women, and I was pretty certain for a while there that I'd just never have any really close female friends. Yet as I grew a bit older, that started to change and at this point, the majority of my closest friends are women. And they are different sorts of relationships, because in some respects, we really can't share all of the same experiences being of differing genders. I can say even in my thirties, I've found my same-sex friendships a bit more challenging than my opposite-sex ones, but I think that may have to do with a lot of them being much deeper relationships.

It's worth remembering too that a person does not stay the same all through their lives. It's not untrue that with a lot of young women, there can be an awful lot of drama (and in many cases, same-sex relationships can be very charged and intense, period), but then as most people grow, the drama quotient goes down dramatically regardless of their gender.

Lastly, you might also want to bear in mind that you aren't going to be privy, as women, to what goes on in same-sex friendships with men if you're present, or to that dynamic. So what some of you may even be talking about isn't about guys being "better" than girls, but about preferring, for now, opposite-sex friendships to same sex ones.

Might be an interesting thing, in fact, to ask your guy friends about -- you may find some of them feel the same way. Hopefully, they do -- after all, if the "guys" are so much "better" than the "girls" unilaterally, what does that say about YOU?

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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Milke
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Do realise, and take into account when you post, that having a certain set of genitals does not necessarily impart the bearer with certain traits. Not all boys are alike. Not all girls are the same. That's just the way things are, and assuming that because someone's male or female they'll be a certain way is a great way to set yourself up to be rudely surprised.

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Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP

Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost


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summergoddess
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Both are benefical however i tend to get along better with guys. They make the best of everything. I have guy sweeties who would listen to my problems and stuff like that, and i do the same for them. They don't judge me, and i don't judge them.. it all works out. And One of my best guy friends is my boyfriend whom i've been dating for almost 2 yrs now

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~Jules


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tango589
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quote:
Originally posted by blond ambition:
Personally, no offense to girls at all, but i have ALWAYS been able to get along better with guys than girls,

Girls should NOT have more guy friends than girl friends.. Honestly, guys only have female friends because they are or WERE trying to get into their pants... having guy friends also makes the guy in your life nervous and thats not a good thing either..


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blond ambition
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That was my opinion in my personal experiences, and you just made quite a doozy of a judgment yourself, actually it was a very big judgment, and im offended for all the great guys ive known...i disagree with you, but then again i think this is somethig that no one can either agree or disagree with. Maybe thats been your experience, but you shouldnt talk like thats a fact, its just your opinion, i made my opinion...

[This message has been edited by blond ambition (edited 03-06-2003).]


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angelicblonde
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I'm sorry but I really need to strongly disagree with you there. My boyfriend loves that I'm friends with his crew and it makes being with him even better because not only do I get along with everyone in his crowd, they're my good friends.

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~Angel~


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Heather
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(Psssst, tango: might also be worth remembering that not all men and women are heterosexual OR proprietary.)

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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blond ambition
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I dont think theres a any one or wrong way here, thats just how it seems for some people, and everyones diffrent and theres nothing wrong with it.
Most of my friends are guys, most of them i met from my boyfriend. Its much easier to be around them then any girl/friends ive had in the past. And none of them came on to me, and even guys who were just aquiantences as well...
ANY two people can just hang out with each other and have it not be sexual.
So cool your jets tango :P

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blond ambition
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i also wanted to add, not ALL guys even TALK about girls when theyre with other guys, my boyfriend doesnt talk about girls that much with all his buddies, theyll joke around about silly girls they see or each others moms,(remeber just goofing around with each other) but never talk about nailing some girl, or what they did to who, when and where.
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Pumpkin_Pie
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Well, when I was a kid, all my friends were boys cos I didn't really get on with the girls in my class(they just tortured me really cos I liked to play soccer and climb trees) and there wasn't that many girls around my area.

I find boys can be less petty than girls.

Most of my friends now are girls, and my best friend is a girl.

Girls tend to drive me nuts thought. They scream and are so wimpy sometimes(not all of them obviously)

Like I said to my P.E teacher when a "scrum" in rugby failed miserably.

"They're such a pack of girls!"

Lets just say the look on her face made me wish I had a camera.

Well back to the topic.

I think girls and guys can both make wonderful friends.

It depends on the person. Boys can be bitchy just like girls(trust me I know). Girls can be as insensitive as guys(I also know this for a fact).


I find I can have greater fun with guys, cos they generally are more willing to do some rough stuff, wander around abandoned buildings, climb trees, run along river banks.

But when it comes to telling someone how I feel, what's going on in my life, confiding, give me a girl any day. Someone to snuggle up to on a sofa watching Never Been Kissed, gorging on chocolate and doing our hair and giving each other dodgy facials.


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blazing_devil
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i've realized too that hanging out with my guy friends are way more fun than most of the girls. the guys just seem less dramatic, and fussy. no offence or anything. like maybe it's just me, liking the stuff guys do (games, etc.) but i seriously do have more fun hanging out with my guy friends, and i can talk to them about stuff too.
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tango589
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quote:
Originally posted by Miz Scarlet:
(Psssst, tango: might also be worth remembering that not all men and women are heterosexual OR proprietary.)


well they all should be...


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Milke
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Tango, why?
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Heather
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"They" for the record are some of US, tango.

I don't think, for instance, I "should" be heterosexual, because I have always been very clearly bisexual, and I'm perfectly happy that way, and have been for a good 20 years, thanks.

Saying all people should be one sexual orientation is akin to saying all people should be a given religion or race or gender. In other words, it's bigotry, and bigotry isn't something we tolerate here.

You're welcome to feel that way if you really want to (though I'd encourage you to evaluate it, as it's very destructive and insular thinking), but leave it outside.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


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blond ambition
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Tango you seem a little bitter, and highly discriminative, (sorry if SP is wrong) not only against guys but all people with views or feelings diffrent than your own...

Im with Miz Scarlet, thats all you but, maybe you should evaluate it.


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Sunset_Rose
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I have two best friends. Ones a guy, and ones a girl.

My girl friend and I have a great friendship. We chat, we laugh, we go out, we shop, we gossip (occasonally) etc. We have girly sleep overs, I can talk to her about anything, and vice versa. Even when we argue, or theres a problem, its usually quickly solved, and overall its a fab friendship.

I also get on great with my guy friend. We laugh, we chat, he doesnt mind shopping (at least not if its for him!) we go out and we have a lot of fun. Again, I can talk to him about anything and he will do he same.

I have 2 great friendships, and they are both different, but personally I like a bit of diversity in my life thank you very much! Basically the point i'm trying to make is that its yuor friends personality that counts, not thier gender.

And as regards Tango's comments, I feel sad that your friendships are so limited. My guy friend can appreciate my opinions about girls (and I try to appreciate his about guys!) Its a lot more fun to be who you are, and to have friends who love you for it.


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Sunset_Rose
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(PS. yes, i'm a girl)
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chickacherrycola
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I think that friendships with girls and guys are equally important and enjoyable. I have a variety or hetero/homosexual girl and guy friends and I love them all to pieces. I think often friendships with guys can be easier in the sense that they're less dramatic, but it is not the gender of an individual, for me anyway, that determines what a friendship will be like with that person. Everyone is an individual and should be treated as such.
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Omoni
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I don't know how anyone can really generalize. To me, it's not the gender that makes a person, it's the grey wrinkled thing in their heads. I don't know, I can't really generalize or agree with the majority of the people on this thread who state that one gender is better than the other, because it you look at it from a blind eye, they're really both the same type of person, but with unmatching genetalia. I don't think it's fair to state that males are better than females and transposed. I think it varies on the person, PERSONALLY. Because face it, either gender can be dramatic and emotional, or cold and cut off. What's between their legs doesn't matter...

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"I would rather see the world from a different angle..."

--Jewel


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bluefreak44
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I think it's cool to have friends of both sexes. My guy friends and my girl friends don't generally hang out together, but that's cool because I'm not always around the same people. I, too, have 2 best friends, a male and a female. My girl friend moved to Kentucky 5 years ago, but we still write a lot and I feel like I can tell her anything. My guy friend is, well, my boyfriend. He lives half an hour away so I don't get to see him a WHOLE lot, but I still feel like I can tell him anything. I can't really generalize my guy and girl friends. Some of my girl friends r rather girly, but there are others who are just as tomboyish as me. Both groups have their pros, and cons, too.

I disagree that guys are only friends with girls to get in their pants. One of my guy friends, the only guy I could say is like a brother, has been friends with me for about 4 years. He's NEVER tried ANYTHING. I even help him with his relationships. And my boyfriend's 2 best friends at school are girls, and I really doubt he's trying to get in their pants. But I guess you could just always say I'm wrong.


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