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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Being Shy

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Author Topic: Being Shy
VikingWizardEyes
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Hey everyone! My names Scott and im new here. So Hi! haha

Anyways, i gotta question. Around girls, im really casual. ALot of my close friends are girls and i have lots of not-so-close girl friends. But when it comes to talkin to girls i like, i get really weird. I cant relax and i get nervous.

Theres this girl i really like...and shes told my close bud that she likes me and has for awhile. Thing is, when i go to talk to her, i get all nervous and can even feel my face goin red. And i dont know why! What have i got to loose? NOTHING haha she likes me! And when i do talk to her, like online and stuff over MSN or whatnot, she tells my bud that im the nicest, funniest guy shes ever met...she just says that i need to talk to her more face to face.

Im just wondering if anyone has any advice for me...it would be greatly appreciated!


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killer_raincoat
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its sort of the type of thing you just sort of need to work your way into i guess. i think you need a combination of realizing she's a normal person, and getting used to talking to her. its natural to be shy, just try not to concetrate so much on what your going to say. forget the circumstances and just talk.

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"Everybody thinks i'm such a horrible person, but i have the heart of a little boy. In a jar. On my desk." -Stephen King


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missyj
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quote:
Originally posted by VikingWizardEyes:
[B]What have i got to loose? NOTHING haha she likes me! [B]

I think you said it best!! What do you have to lose?? Being shy is natural, but you have already passed the greatest barrier with her, you know she likes you!!! So just forget about being shy and go for it, you know that she likes you. The situation couldnt be anymore in your favour!! GOOD LUCK!

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Love is natural, and everything that goes with it. ;)


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butterfly12
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I think killer_raincoat hit it right on the head - realize that this chick is just like you! Granted, if you have feelings for her she's special to you, but special doesn't mean better. Approach her like you would before everything came out with you guys liking eachother; approach her like a friend. Also, don't sell yourself short! I bet you're a great person and you'd make her very happy!
I wish you the best of luck!!

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"A drama queen at 17 and sleeping with the boys for free - she's got a reputation of being easy.."


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Daydreamer24
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What you're describing, VikingWizardEyes, is very, very normal. Even the most laid-back and easy-going people get nervous around people they like romantically. Really, it's just out nature.

Analyze it. You're around somebody you like, so you want to make a good impression. If you slip-up, you worry that they'll think you're stupid and clumsy. Think of how you act around people you don't like romantically. You're not trying to make them like you, so you really don't care what they think about you.

Comprende? So the only thing you gotta do is realize that they are people just like you. If somebody likes you and does something embarassing, are you going to laugh in their face? Nope, you'll probably be flattered. Just put yourself in their shoes.

[This message has been edited by Daydreamer24 (edited 01-27-2003).]


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Maryha
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While the advice given to you thus far is quire right-on, I had one more thing to add. . . Even besides this girl, there will be other times where you'll need to get passed your shyness, and now's the perfect opportunity (since you have such great motivation) to work past it. It's normal to be shy around someone you care about, but like everyone else said, she's just another person. Besides that, if you're going to get past friendship with this girl, it's important that you're able to relax with her. Just be yourself. Trust me, if she likes you and you do something somewhat embarrassing, odds are, she won't be shocked or horrified, but she'll probably think you're all the cuter for it. Plus, I've read a psychology book that says a person will be more likely to like you if you make mistakes. . . It shows your human. So, not only do you have nothing to lose, but even if you slip-up a little, things will still most probably be in your favor. I never used to be all that out-going either, but you just have to keep at it. Odds are, you'll still be a little nervous, but just remember, you'll get through it and most likely be better off for it.
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happallyinlove
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Dude! you got it made. You have this awesome chick who you like and likes you back! That is the best feeling in the world. If anyone understands bein awkward around crushes its me, and here's how I dealt with it. Spend as much time as you can with her. The more you are around her and the more you get to know her and the more she gets to know you, you will become comepletly comfortable around each other. This is what I did with my current boyfriend. When I was around him I became just like you described. We've all been there, my friend, so just do your best to work throught your nervousness in the beginning and you will be happy with the results!
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VikingWizardEyes
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ALL OF YOU ROCK!

You've made a point! I think what im gonna do is just be myself, even tho ill still be somewhat nervous. But ill try and be around her as much as i can, to an extent haha, so that i can get comfortable around her.

Thanks everyone!!

ps- thing that i forgot to mention that makes it harder is that ive never talked to her before! haha


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Gumdrop Girl
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in case you were looking for ideas, from the Relationships Forum FAQ

How to Approach People/Meeting People http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/001665.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/000728.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/001665.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/000774.html http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/001643.html

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According to the experts, I am some species of badass.


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VikingWizardEyes
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Thanks for those links! They gave me plenty of good ideas!

Its funny, shes always smiling at me in the halls...shes got an amazing smile! And ive never tried to approach her and talk to her earlier...haha DUH on my part

Ive got another question...on one of the links it said to think of her as a friend when you talk to her not like you wanna get in her bed. This is soo true! Im sure lots of guys go after her because of that reason...shes gorgeous! And i think it would be the right way to go about talkin to her as a friend! Not like im tryin to get anythin out of it...except her friendship.

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later days


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VikingWizardEyes
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Hey, another question (sorry ive asked so many).

The close bud of mine gave me her cell number the other day...i really wanna give her a call! But im worried that ill come off as a creep or something because ive never asked for her number from HER...what do you guys think? Itd be so awsome!

Thanks


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Gumdrop Girl
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don't call her number. it's not polite to give ppl's contact info (email, phone numbers, addresses) without their consent.
in a similar situation, if some guy called me 'cause he got my number from someone i knew, i would not be a happy camper. i'd be annoyed with the called, and i would get pissed off at the friend who gave out my number.

start small. just try to say hi to her in passing. that's always a good way to start.

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According to the experts, I am some species of badass.


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Maryha
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Gumpdrop Girl is right, don't call her number, until you get it from her yourself. Just start talking with her and be her friend. If you guys get into a conversation, you can always ask for her number yourself. That way you don't come off as weird for calling her number when you got it from someone else. Best of luck!
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VikingWizardEyes
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Damn...haha looks like i put myself in a spot because i already did...i just left a message on her cell saying hi.

Man you should never listen to friends haha

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later days


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VikingWizardEyes
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Hey everyone! Back again haha.

Anyways, just wanted to ask you guys something...mostly if im just thinking to much and freakin myself out. Anyways, i like that girl still! And last week we went to a movie and we were really close (holding each other, her legs over mine my arm around her...that kinda thing ), and the day after that i went to check out her ringette game...

Anyways, it was cool when we talked when we were alone! We had a really good conversation going...but when we are at school it changes! Whenever i try and talk to her, i get very little back, if that...my buds say that she just doesnt hear me...but im so close i dont know how she cant (altho i have to understand that she might not). Even when we are face to face it feels weird...not like when we were alone.

Her friends, they are friends with my sister, and we are totally different...but i can work with that and hopefully get to know the ones i already dont (they are over at my house sometimes). Anyways, her friends always come and interuppt (sp) us when we are talking...its part of the very short conversations we have at school.

What ive started to think is that she thinks im not "brave" enough or dont have the "balls" to go out with her cause i didnt make a move on her sexually in the movie...i wanted to act like her friend! I really wanna get to know her better...

Am i just freakin out? Thanks a bunch everyone!

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later days


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