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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » long distance relationship

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Author Topic: long distance relationship
Miller311
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Member # 7218

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Tomorrow m wonderful and loving boyfriend is leaving me for an ENTIRE YEAR. I knew this day was coming but i didnt truly see ituntil this week when he began to get ready. Hes about 5years older than me, and hes in he air force. Tomorrow he leaves for Korea, and i dont know how to handle the situation. Is it healthy for a teenage girl to do this? Should i move on? I just dont know what to do, i mean i love he guy to death but i know how lonely i will get, any advice?

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~~*Sara*~~

**RIP TEDDY**
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!
1983-2001


Posts: 47 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
KandyKorn17
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He's going to Korea? Hmm.. if you're not emotionally ready for a long distance relationship, don't have one.
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herecomestheson
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While I think Kandy Korn is somewhat right I think you could use a more in depth explanation. Years ago my friend moved to Montreal, she had a girlfriend at the time and they kept in touch on a regular basis. Obviously a Long Distance relationship is very hard and requires both partners to be committed in order for it to work. The thing was, they were separated because of work, and while the army is work it is also much harder in your case considering you two are in separate countries with great difficulties maintaining contact. So I think it is possible to maintain one, you both would have to work hard, and you'd have to make sure your partner is ready because you don't want to set yourself up for disappointment.

And finally, maybe you should ask yourself if this man is worth it. If you feel very strongly about him and want him to be a part of your life a few years from now than maybe it's something you should strive for. It would hurt you to obligate yourself to something you know won't work out.

It's all about decisions.

Hope that was of some help.


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missyj
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My boyfriend might be leaving me for university for a year too.
Kandy is right, if you aren't ready for long distance relationship, then don't have one. But, I know how you feel, when you really care about him-
So perhaps, some kind of compromise. Me and my boyfriend decided that, if he left, that we would go on a break in the relationship. Spend the year, meeting other people etc. And when he got back, we would meet up and see how things are between us. It could be a chance for a really good learning experience, you could see what else the world has to offer, and see how much you are your boyfriend might be meant for eachother. If he gets back and you love him even more, then that's great! Or if you find you've lost interest in him, then you have the opportunity for new experiences. Don't forget, if you spend a year pining over a man who is really out of reach, you might miss your true prince charming! And if not, and you still want your original guy, well - "Absence makes the heart grow fonder!"

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Love is natural, and everything that goes with it. ;)


Posts: 153 | From: Oakville, Ontario. | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
#1hotgirl4/sho
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I got with somebody right now tyat lives in a different city but I go wit him cause I trust him

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ghetto chick hittin you up every time


Posts: 1 | From: cleveland,ohio,U.S | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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from the Relationships FAQ

LDR's (Long Distance Relationships)
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/000483.html
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/000580.html

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Don't be coward like shrimp, be brave like PRAWN!


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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Hiya Miller...

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that your boyfriend is headed off. I know how awful and gut-wrenching that can be, and I'm sure it's no picnic for you right now. It's definitely going to be crunch time to see how you handle things, but there are ways to make it work out if you so desire. This sort of thing has happened to tons of people before, and it'll happen to tons of people in the future as well. It's all doable, if you're willing to put in the work.

As with anything else, communication will be key. If you feel like moving on (which is both understandable and acceptable), be honest with him and tell him so. No doubt he will understand...and he should tell you if he feels the same way. Being open will make things just that little bit easier, which is what you could certainly use at the moment. Yes, it'll be lonely. Yes, mail takes a darned long time to go from Korea to New York. But yes, it can be done if it is what you both want to do. Take things one step at a time for now. Talk when you can, write when you can, and work out a course of action little by little. Don't make snap decisions yet, as you tend to regret such things later. Instead, keep things as open as possible and see how things feel as time creeps by. You'll get through it. I promise.

(And since I've got a little bit of background info on such things, what is your boyfriend's MOS? And is he off to Kunsan or Osan? Just wonderin'...)

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BruinDan, "Number Three," PSOM

"Battery Stolen; Youth Charged"


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Miller311
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Well i thank everyone for the input, i really racked my rain with this one.

I believe it was 'Herecomestheson' that said i should think about whether this guy is worth it, and if i want to spend years with him. Well the answer is yes, andi could honestly see spending the rest of my life with him. Its just what to do with myself now while he is gone.. but thanks everyone for the help!

------------------
~~*Sara*~~

**RIP TEDDY**
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!
1983-2001

*It's only human to never be satsfied*


Posts: 47 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miller311
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Member # 7218

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Oh yea i forgot to mention one more thing. Within the past wo days, we have talked more than ever. We on constantly on the phone. Right now he is still in Texas, but the 7th he ges to Korea. He has a cell phone registered to my area code, so it isnt long distance, we can talk to eachother just like if he were here, hich makes things much easier. He also keps telling me over and over" this is going to work, i know it".. so im pretty sure the feelings here are mutual.

------------------
~~*Sara*~~

**RIP TEDDY**
I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU!
1983-2001

*It's only human to never be satisfied*


Posts: 47 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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