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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » sexual stuff

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Author Topic: sexual stuff
Member # 5210

Icon 5 posted      Profile for koolest53     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
my boyfriend and i have been dating just about a month now and he doesn't make many attempts to touch me. we hold hands and kiss but thats all, we rarely make out. i don't wanna rush anything cuz i don't want him to be uncomfortable but i'm used to more "touchy feely stuff". what can i really do? talking to him feels funny. he rarely even says that he thinks i'm sexy or likes any parts of me. what can i do? do you think that there's something wrong with me?
Posts: 92 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4356

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Well, you'll never know if you don't ask right?
And he might not know anything's wrong, unless you ask.

Try asking him, opening up the lines of communication.

Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8914

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Well its only been a month. You might be used to faster but he might not be. You could try making a "move" or just let him go at his rate. I'm sure he thinks your beautiful. Just give him time to get more comfortable around you. Then you'll probably hear it so many times you'll be tired of it


Posts: 101 | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 1679

Icon 1 posted      Profile for KittenGoddess     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Even if talking to him feels funny, it's something you're probably going to have to do. That's about the only way you're going to know what's going on.

Sexual Negotiations for the Long Haul

Remember too that just because things were one way with another partner does not mean that they will be (or should be) the same with your next partner. So while you may have been used to more "touchy feely" before, that just may not work with this partner at all. And either you'll have to deal with that, or get out of the relationship and find someone else. If you want more physical contact, then you're going to have to tell him that so that at least he knows how you feel. As a couple, you'll have to work out what level of physical contact is most comfortable for both of you right now. And if you feel like you want to be told that you're beautiful more often, then tell him that! Talk to him, see what happens.

Scarleteen Advocate (and Labia Lady)

"The whole world is full of morons...they just congregate on the internet cause it's easy for them to push the buttons."

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9911

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If you're not even that comfy <i>talking</i> with him about physical stuff, I dunno how far you should really go, anyway. From my experience, communication is A LOT more important than touching, however, both are important in a relationship.

Good luck!

Once upon an time...?
What time are we upon and where do I belong?

Posts: 21 | From: Longmont, CO, USA | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10093

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WEll, nothings gonna happen if you dont do something!! when you hold hands, guide his hands where u want them to go. it takes the pressure off of the guy and makes it much easier to do other stuff if theres less pressure. hope this helped

For the homophobics:
"He who is without sin; throw the first stone."

Posts: 2 | From: Columbia, SC, USA | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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. . . Only if being gay's not a sin (and we certainly don't think it is here), that's not too logical.

I'd suggest asking what your guy's interested in; I know I'd be pretty alarmed if I found my hand unexpectedly on some guy's crotch, or anywhere else I hadn't chosen to put it. It takes the pressure off if that was what he *wanted*, but it also puts on pressure to do things he may not be interested in.

Milke, SSBD

Nature is a language - can't you read?

Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10151

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Your boyfriend could simply be a shy guy ~ Give him time and he should come round ~ If he doesn't come round and continues to be shy, I think you should talk to him about it ~ Maybe it depends on your ages too ~ He may find himself being too young ~ Maybe he is self-conscious? He might not be happy with the way he looks, or a part of his body ~ Why don't you reassure him and try telling him what you like about him, instead of waiting for him to tell you? ~ Good luck.
Posts: 15 | From: My Very Own World | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10151

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P.S. I don't understand what Shortness05's sig means ~ But I personally have nothing against gay people.

Is It Enough To Love? Is It Enough To Breathe? Somebody Rip My Heart Out And Leave Me Here To Bleed

Posts: 15 | From: My Very Own World | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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