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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » bf question

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Author Topic: bf question
Member # 5210

Icon 8 posted      Profile for koolest53     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
hey, i have a new b/f and i'm worried that he only wants to go out with me for sex. he said that he's never felt comfortable with another girl to talk to and things like he does me but he is also not experienced with sex so i'm afraid that he only wants me to give him some. help!
Posts: 92 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 6845

Icon 1 posted      Profile for liljenn     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
You could ask him straight up, but that's just me because I'm sort of a blunt person & say what's on my mind. Or you could just hold out on sex until YOU feel comfortable, and trust him.
Posts: 7 | From: Texas | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Member # 384

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Lady Moonlight     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Like liljenn says, you could ask him straight up. Or you could approach the topic more subtly, like asking what he thinks are the most important aspects of a romantic relationship.

I find it interesting that you're worried about what he wants, but you don't even mention what you want. It's perfectly okay for you to set limits in your relationship, and just because you've done a particular sexual act in a past relationship does not mean that history has to repeat itself here.

I would suggest that you sit down by yourself and think about what limits (if any) you want there to be in your current relationship. (Remember, you can always change these later, but it's a lot easier to think about such things when your brain is cooled off and your hormones aren't raging.)

Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5594

Icon 1 posted      Profile for celery     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
ask him, or DON'T give him any sex, unless you really really really want to.

But might as well wait, and see what happens
then you'll know for sure.

Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8605

Icon 1 posted      Profile for MiSs_Behave     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hey, Slow down here girlie!

If you have only been going out with this boy for a while and you think he is already putting pressure on you to have sex, or you think he is using you for sex.. my question is: why are you with him?

Girls in relationships alot of the time forget that it's OKAY to talk to your boyfriend. If you don't communicate, the relationship won't last long, believe me.

Sex is a BIG step y'know? HUGE. LIFE CHANGING. SERIOUS.

Why not get used to all the fun stuff first, like making out, oral sex, manual sex and just hugging and kissing eh?

Follow your inner moonlight, don't hide the MaDdNeSs...

[This message has been edited by MiSs_Behave (edited 06-10-2002).]

Posts: 56 | From: Land of Oz | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

Icon 1 posted      Profile for -Jill     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
While I agree that sex is serious, anything that can cause pregnancy or transmit STD/STIs is, I'd like to point out that it isn't necessarily a huge event or a life changing one.

Check out Ready or Not? The Readiness Checklist for more information on what other guarantees don't come with sex - sex of any type for that matter.

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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