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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Worrying...

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Author Topic: Worrying...
Member # 8513

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I have a problem, whenever my boyfriend says the least little thing to me or anything happens i automatically start crying and accusing him of not caring about me. Lately its starting to make him angry that i think he dosent care, and he often ask me whats wrong and sometimes i cant tell him because i really dont know and that makes him even more mad. i dont know whats wrong, i know he cares about me he tells me that all the time and he says i mean the world to him and all that stuff but its always in the back of my head that something is going to go wrong and i just dont know what to do about it. I know this is something only i can fix but i was wondering if anyone had any ideas??
Posts: 15 | From: athens,alabama,usa | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8515

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Hmmm Its sounds to me like he does love and care about you as hes told you. I think you need to have more trust in him and yourself,and my having more trust in yourself I mean be confident. He obviouslly cares about you so why would you think any differently? You need to have more faith in him and each-other as a couple.Also since you know questioning him makes him mad,take his answer and let it sink in-that yes you DO mean the world to him. And dont ask him again.And stop worrying!!! If everything seems to be going fine then it probably is and your just doing that worrying. Well good luck and see how not questioning him works : )


Posts: 21 | From: Philly,PA-Reston,VA-[USA] | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
Member # 5508

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Do you think maybe it's PMS?! Hehe nah just kidding... but I get real bad crying episodes when I have PMS. I burst out into tears once because the Saturday Morning Cartoons switched times, so I missed my favorite one. This was last year. I was 16. Oh lord.

Maybe you're slightly depressed. If I were you, I'd go talk to a therapist or a psychiatrist. I know it sounds scary, but it's awesome. You can tell them ANYTHING, and they won't judge you or think you're crazy. It sounds like maybe you're stressed out a lot, and talking to a therapist even once a month can take a load off you. Hehe I see one once a week, but hey, it's not for everyone.

If you choose not to see a therapist for whatever reason, then you're going to have to work very hard to put your finger on exactly what's going on with you emotionally. I strongly suggest keeping a journal. Use the "stream of conciousness" method, and just write whatever pops into your head. You'd be surprised what comes out when you just let the pen do the talking. It's helpful to write in your journal everyday; that way you can keep track of the kinds of moods you get in and what triggers those mood swings.

I wouldn't worry too much about it though. When you're a teenager, horomones are raging, and emotions run HIGH. You just need an outlet for those negative feelings. I really really strongly suggest a therapist; just cuz I love mine so much. But at least do the journal thing. You'd be surprised by how much it can help. Anways, hang in there!

Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8298

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Originally posted by Miss Thang:

Maybe you're slightly depressed. If I were you, I'd go talk to a therapist or a psychiatrist.

That's exactly what I was going to suggest. I'm in no way saying that this is what's wrong with you, because I am not a professional and I don't know you, but I was going through the same this around this time last year. I was feeling very insecure about myself and my relationships, and I just couldn't shake it, no matter what I did. I went to my GP and she refered me to a therapist. I learned that I have mild depression. Since learning that, I have been able to overcome it.

Its something to think about. But again, in no way am I saying that this is what's wrong with you. Its simply something you may want to consider.
Good luck in all you do.


Posts: 59 | From: Alabama | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8513

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thanks alot for your help actually i have tried suggesting the psychiatrist thing to my mom and she is just not feeling that for some reason. she says there is just nothing wrong with me, im just not very "strong emotionally" or something like that. i really would like to go to one though. Actually someone suggested i write in a journal...i do write in a prayer book thing and it always makes me feel a thousand times better and that is a really good idea for anyone who is upset or depressed about anything...writing always makes me feel better. i think maybe if i try and have a little more faith in my boyfriend then everything might work out...if not i might need to check into seeing someone again if my mom is cool with it. also sometimes it is when i have pms i cry because we are out of Q-tips...hehe thanks for ur help so much!!
Posts: 15 | From: athens,alabama,usa | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Jess: you'll find a pretty comprehsive listing of help and counseling services via that page, some of which are even free. So, might be worth looking over with your Mom, or just for yourself.

Sometimes, when a parent is reticent about counseling, it's because private counseling can often be very costly. Suggesting counseling that is free or very low-cost may make a difference.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7498

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Hey Jess~

I used to have basically the same problem and Ms. Thang is right by saying talking to someone really does help. Dosen't have to be therapist because they can sure rack up one heck of a bill, but maybe a trusted friend or even your boyfriend. Try to talk to him about it and tell him how you feel and hopefully he'll understand and I do think he would if he loves you so much. That's what I did--I talked to my boyfriend about everything and he kind-of became my own personal therapist . I worked through it and totally turned my mood around. Hope I helped a little, best of luck!


Posts: 67 | From: Somewhere over the rainbow... | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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It sounds like you might also need to communicate with your boyfriend about this - it isn't going to help if he keeps getting angry at you. If you're certain that your feelings have nothing to do with how he's actually behaving, then let him know that: explain that this is about you feeling anxious and insecure in yourself, not about anything he's doing wrong, and that you know how much he cares.

It could also be worth asking yourself if there are actually specific things he's doing that are upsetting you - even people who love and care about each other can sometimes unintentionally do things that bother each other. In that case, you might need to let him know how you feel, using "I-statements", not "you-statements", so you're not blaming him - you could say something like "When you do such-and-such, it makes me feel really uncomfortable ..."

[This message has been edited by logic_grrl (edited 06-10-2002).]

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8583

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I dunno if I'm allowed to do this but I'd rather post here then set p a new topic for the same question. I have the same problem with my bf, but I'm tried your suggestions I've told myself he loves me and cares about me, didn't work, I talked to my best friend all the time I feel great when I'm talking ot her then I get alone and start to worry again. I also tried to talk to my bf but he's new at the reltionship stuff and doesn't know what to do to help. I'd like to see a psychistris [sp?] butin my past I was a cutter and always refused to see someone I'm afraid if I bring it up they'll think I'm sutting again...any other suggestions?
Posts: 8 | From: Orlando | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5578

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Hey Kitty, you could've edited your other thread and added that in.

Jess & Kitty seem to be under a lot of stress. Maybe take a break from your boyfriends and calm down, hm?

Posts: 1619 | From: TEXAS | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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