My boyfriend and I have only been together a month. He doesnt talk to me anymore because "he doesnt have anything to say"...he used to talk to me before we started going out. So now this guy that I liked before i liked my bf likes me. And we've become very close lately. Hes pretty much taken the role of bf that my real bf doesnt fill. (he waits for me at my locker, calls me, makes plans with me, finds me in the hallways at school). Heres my deal...I want to give my bf a chance...but I dont wanna cheat him out of his gf bc this other guy is essentially taking his place...what should i do? (ots...my bf is a year younger and the other guy is 2 years younger...)
Posts: 3 | From: Kings Park, NY, USA | Registered: May 2002
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You need to talk to your boyfriend about what's bothering you and get him to understand. If that doesn't work and things don't get better, then I don't see the relationship working.
Posts: 14 | From: California | Registered: Jan 2002
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Ok if your boyfriend has nothing to say to you, why are you going out? Why are you even friends? That's crap. You need to talk to him though and tell him "This is what I need in a boyfriend...." and list the things you need- like "I need a boyfriend who calls me every night" or "I need a boyfriend who waits by my locker". Whatever your needs are; you need to tell him. But not before you've rethought your needs.
I understand that of course, you need your boyfriend to talk to you. But why does a boyfriend have to wait by your locker? And does he have to call EVERY night?? You've gotta decide what's really important to you, and also decide if those needs can't be fulfilled by a close friend. Maybe your boyfriend's locker is far away, or you just don't cross paths in school. That's fine, understandable. Can't a close girlfriend hang out with you in the hallways between classes? Is this boyfriend meant to be arm candy or a real companion?
So, decide what you REALLY need in a boyfriend. And tell him. And let him tell you what he needs in a girlfriend. Then decide whether or not to give this relationship another shot. If he won't have this conversation with you; if he's not willing to talk to you; I'd then just break it off with him. If he's not treating you the way you need and deserve to be treated, then say bye bye and have your fun with this other boy. In the meantime, don't lead this other boy on; trust me it'll cause nothin but trouble if you DO decide to give your bf another chance. Keep this other guy as a friend; but don't get pissed if he wants to be with other girls... a guy can't wait around forever, especially for a girl who's technically "taken".
So communication is the key. Talk to your bf. Open, honest communication.
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