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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » opinions appreciated :-)

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Author Topic: opinions appreciated :-)
drAmA quEEn
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hey all, now can i just firstly state i realise that you people can't make my decisions and i realise its only down to me, but id just like to hear if you have any opinions or anything to say.

ok well, i have been with my b/f for about 6 weeks now, but knew him for 8months before we got together, and he was my best friend (he still is) anyway i'd say its been going ok, but i have to admit ive been very close to ending it a couple times, but a couple days later im so relieved i didnt because i know how much i wouldve regreted it.

well, lets get to the point, i see him about once a week right now as he has exams and i think thats fair enough as theyre v.important. well sometimes when we meet its so good and im so happy and i go home thinking ah i think im falling in love with him (i realise that you cant put a time on love) well thats all very well but ill meet him other times and it wont be like that, itll just be kind of.. bleugh, not very exciting at all and thats when i think are we right together?! he treats me so well and i have complete trust in him and he makes me really happy most of the time.

we talk on msn most days as to keep in touch but some days i just have nothing to say and come away disappointed, and other days we have such good, and sometimes deep meaningfull convosations but we can also have a laugh aswell. we have a lot in common but then again we're opposites aswell. we have similar beliefs and are into the same sort of things. id give anything for this relationship to work but i dont want to feel that im stringing him along and that i shouldnt be with him. he knows ive had doubts but not that ive been quite near to ending it, although when this happened i was extremely tired, moody and just in a state about everything.

lastly, i just need to add, occasionally he'll say something or come out with something and ill just think "god what the hell is he saying" and ill be a bit put off, but i think this is natural. when we are kissing or even hugging its perfect and even when we are holding our hands together it can be so romantic and feel so lovely. if i could be anywhere now id be with him, i dont care where it was.

i know i must sound so confusing and its probably a lot more simple than ive made out, but ive just told this from the top of my head, sorry its so long. so really id just like to see if anyone has any comments or would like to say what they think. thank you and sorry again :-)

p.s ive asked him how he thinks its going and he says good, also i think hes liked me for quite a lot of the time that we've known eachother


Posts: 65 | From: uk | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Maryha
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You know what it sounds like to me is that you haven't quite figured out for yourself what you want. Are you clear on who you are and what you are looking for in this relationship? It sounds like you are rather confused and doubt your own feelings, when really, if your feelings were genuine you wouldn't be doubting them unless outside influences are making you doubt yourself.
I'm not saying every relationship should be wonderful all the time, but if you really care about them it's always in the back of your mind, no matter what they do. . . If you two or fighting, or if he's being a dork, or whatever.
It looks like you need to decide whether your just "in love with the idea of love" or whether you genuinely care about this boy.

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drAmA quEEn
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i understand clearly what you said, thank you :-) i know i brought all this on myself by making the post in the first place but maybe i shouldve added im only 15, although i have been hurt badly before, (which has made me paranoid and constantly needing reassurrence) so im not always sure if i know myself. we have never actually had a fight and hes never been a dork, ive always known that i care loads about him - in the back of my head and the front.

i guess i just need reassurrence here aswell, and i know in my mind i dont want to end it. i just need to know that its not so bad that im having doubts sometimes and that its not harsh on him if i stay with him whilst its happening. i just want to do whats right, i dont want to hurt him, which is why i know im with him because i genuinely want to be. people have said to me give it time, and i guess im just wondering how much time am i exactly sposed 2 give it.

im sorry if i seemed bitchy just reversing your answer, and i know i asked for opinions, but i just had to write this. i know only i can decide etc, and what id really like to do is wait till after his exams when we can have more freedom and our relationship isnt 'planned'. im just worried that im doing the wrong thing staying with him... my paranoia takes over my life sometimes :-\ i guess i was hoping maybe my post would give off some idea of whether you think it could work between us


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babiblew
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Hey gurlie!! Man, if only you knew how much I can really relate to what your talking about. Its the weirdest thing because I didnt think anyone else felt like I did about things like that. I thought maybe it was just me. But now I see that im not alone. <---Edited. Please do not post information such as email addresses and MSN names. Please review the Guidelines.--->But the advice I gave myself, and I guess the same advice ill give you. Just hang in there, if he really makes you happy, and your sure you care about him in more than just a friend way. Then it should work. You might just be scared of getting involved in something so serious. Because you could get hurt. But if its the same as my relationship and your b/friend cares..then everything should be fine. You shouldnt worry about being hurt. Good luck, and im here if u wanna talk!!

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*babi-blew*

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 05-28-2002).]


Posts: 8 | From: Hagan, Georgia US | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
drAmA quEEn
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well i dont think kissing a friend could feel so good really, and plus i know i want this to work, so we'll see i guess. im not really secure (thats the best way i can explain it) at the moment but im going to give it some time and wait till after his exams if nothing gets in the way before then. we had a talk the other day about everything, how i felt and stuff and he was ok about it all and said he has the occasional doubt too so.. your mail address was edited, ummm i dont know how we can go about this one, but itd be good to talk :-)
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babiblew
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quote:
Originally posted by drAmA quEEn:
well i dont think kissing a friend could feel so good really, and plus i know i want this to work, so we'll see i guess. im not really secure (thats the best way i can explain it) at the moment but im going to give it some time and wait till after his exams if nothing gets in the way before then. we had a talk the other day about everything, how i felt and stuff and he was ok about it all and said he has the occasional doubt too so.. your mail address was edited, ummm i dont know how we can go about this one, but itd be good to talk :-)


hey gurl..wel im glad you talked to him. Maybe things will work out. Just give it some time. <---Edited. See message below.---> That should work I hope. But ya like you said. Itd be good to talk and know how things are going for you!! Till then..I guess ill talk to you later!!

later daze...

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*babi-blew*

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 05-29-2002).]


Posts: 8 | From: Hagan, Georgia US | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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