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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » what did i do wrong?

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Author Topic: what did i do wrong?
~jess~
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OK, im unsure if this is ok to post but im in a bad mood and i need advise.
Ok yesterday i went to a really good friend's house (guy) and we made-out, this is the same guy who i've posted about before. well anyway today i told my friend, we will call her sheena, that i went to his house but thats it. sheena just guessed we made-out and i didnt denied it. she starting lucting me say stuff like what i was did was wrong because me and the guy aren't going out (i didnt tell her thise but we have love for each other). it wasnt like i went to his house just to make-out, it just happened. shes like well a lot of stuff can "just happen" which is so true but i willnt let it happen. so did i do something wrong? its not like we just meet, ive known him for 2 years. her come back to that was well ive know people for 10 years and i still wouldnt do that with them. then i said well we will probabley go out later in life and shes like well then why dont you just wait then? i got so mad! i just left. was i in the wrong for making out with this guy? and what do you think about my lovely friend saying all this?

Posts: 278 | From: Oregon | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ash
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Sure things happens.. if you think its right then go for it.. there are people who thinks their ideas and thoughts counts but you shouldn't give a s**t..

Posts: 102 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Victoria
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Hey! I don't see anything wrong with what you did, if you feel comfortable with it and neither of you have a different girl/boy friend, than its all kool. Are you sure your friend might not like this guy??

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~* $/\/\i1e *~


Posts: 23 | From: PA, US | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Maryha
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Victoria might be right. . . Your friend might be defensive because she likes him.
But no matter what, what you did was in no way wrong. If you feel you have no reason to feel guilty or bad about it, don't. It's obvious you care for this guy, and you both seem to have an understanding of what you are to each other, so no troubles.
If she chooses to be so judgemental of you, ask her why, and if she's just being Ms. Righteous and you feel it's unfounded, tell her so.

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~jess~
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she dont like him because she dont even know him. I talked to her today and she said she wasnt mad, just disappointed that i would do that. If you think about it, shes actually be a good friend by looking out for me since he is 17 and im only 14. I dont feel bed because it wasnt the first time I've made-out with him .
But i do feel bad because all the time im always saying how much i like this other guy then i make-out with someone else? But i do have feelings for the 17 year old.

edited for smilie

[This message has been edited by ~jess~ (edited 05-20-2002).]


Posts: 278 | From: Oregon | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
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Sexual feelings are funny things, and just because you like Person A doesn't mean that you can't also be attracted to (and enjoy making out with) Person B.

As for why your friend is "disappointed" in you, only she can really explain it. Have y'all discussed some sort of code of behavior that she thinks you've failed? Does she have strong beliefs, religious or otherwise, about sexual activity (even "making out") outside of marriage? It may not seem fair for her to judge you by her standards, but we humans judge others by our standards all the time. The best you can do is explain to her that you don't feel the same way she does and try to respect each other's beliefs. On the one hand, it's good that she cares about you, even if you don't like her being judgmental.

One issue you might want to think about is the age difference between you and your guy friend. Although he is under 18, there's still a significant age difference between you that could be a problem legally depending on how far you two go when making out. Check out www.ageofconsent.com for details specific to your state. Another thing you might want to think about is just how far you do and don't want to go with this guy. In fact, I'd even recommend discussing it with him sometime. The thing is, it's a lot easier to think about these matters when your hormones aren't raging and playing tricks with your brain.


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
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Well it sounds to me that your friend just might be jealous, maybe not because of that particular guy, but just because you HAVE a guy.

I personally don't think there was anything wrong with making out with this guy, I mean it is JUST kissing, its not that big of a deal, I too have made out with people I have known for quite a bit, but nothing happened and we're still really good friends.
Because all we did was kiss.

On the other hand, if you do more than kissing with this guy, that's a little different.

Anyways, don't feel bad about what you did, you're friend just sounds a tad jealous.


Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
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Wow I'm in a really similar situation.

My good friend and I have like each other for a while, and done stuff once or twice. But we've both agreed that right now is a really really bad time to start anything up (he just broke up with his girlfriend like a month and a half ago, I'm going away working for the summer, and starting university in the fall)

Then one of my close friends came up for the weekend last weekend, we had an amazing time, and we had been doing stuff for a while and we had sex for the first time on Saturday. It was committed friendship sex. Not necessarily always recommended, but we used protection, and we're very close before and after. We've discussed it before, if he lived closer (less than 6 hours away) we'd probably have a very committed relationship, but long distance is a no-no.

I didn't even tell my best friend what happened this weekend, not even close, but she's making me feel like I should feel guilty for betraying the first guy.

I don't see how it's a betrayal, AT ALL. It's been agreed that it's a bad time, end of story. And it's nearly starting a fight because I refuse to feel guilty because someone else tells me I should.

I hope i'm not wrong on this one...


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Tonyssmgluva
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Dude i dont think you did ne thing wrong n attraction is an attraction teenagers make out jus like adultz do it's no big deal now it would have been different if you slept with him but you didnt so you're friend is over reacting thas what i think
Posts: 8 | From: Beltsville, Md,USA | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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