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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » 6 yr age difference.. need ur input!

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Author Topic: 6 yr age difference.. need ur input!
roxyaron
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Member # 7837

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hey all... ok i already pretty much know my decision, but i just want reassurance or other personal stories about dating an older man. i recently started working at a store in the mall, and one of the managers and i just immdediatly had an attraction to one another. so for the past few weeks we've been emailing each other, working together, etc. we nboth have admitted that we like each ohter, and want to try and work something out. the only thing that is kinda bugging me though, is that i can't understand why a 24 yr old would be interested in dating an 18 yr old. i asked him this, and he claims that there is just something about me that is differnt and he likes it, and he said he knows he's 24, but that since im 18, im considered part of the 20's age group so it doesn't bother him. cuz like i figured, if it were two yrs later, he'd be 26 and i'd be 20.. and that doesnt seem like such a big deal. i'm working with him again in a few days, and i know we're gonna hook up after we close.. i understand i ahve to be careful, bc he IS older, so he may be looking for more things. but actually, we alreayd discussed all of this. anywayz, to get ot my point, if anyone has anything to share with me about this, i'd be very happy, bc this is a new expereince for me.
Posts: 2 | From: Aston PA, USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
mingo
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Well I recently got chastised for advising a 14 year old not to date a 17 year old. So be it I'm still going to give you my opinion. Thing is this time I think it's ok. As you age, the difference between you and older or younger people (within a certian range) narrows. That is to say there a LOT more difference between 10 and 16 than there is between 18 and 24, even less between 30 and 36. So go ahead, you're an adult. Sure it might not work, you may find the two of you don't have enough in common, but you could find that with an 18 year old also.

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We are starstuff, we are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out


Posts: 126 | From: Ferndale, Mi USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Maryha
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You're right, sounds like you already have made your decision, so don't doubt it. In all honesty, it sounds like you've already put a lot of thought into this and you seem to be on a common page with him.
I can't say I have any experience with a guy that much older, but I've seen friends who've done it, and its worked out fine. Good luck.

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Cherokee1696
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I say go for it- its what you want. The age difference is not that drastic. I agree with Mingo, as you age, the difference between you and older or younger people (within a certian range) narrows.
My boyfriend is 4 years older than me, and neither of us have ever been happier, and no one has said anything to us about it. (I'm 16, he's 20)
Good luck!


Posts: 59 | From: Alabama | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ash
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my new EX-bf is 7 yrs older than me.. we had great time together.. doesnt really matter abt the age.. really!!!
Posts: 102 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sun Wu
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I do have a low opinion of guys in they're young 20's dating high school girls... But you seem set on it so I'll not advise against it. Just be careful.
Posts: 117 | From: Where does my name remind you of? well it's wrong! | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
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One thing to consider...does the place where you work have rules against staff dating managers and vice versa? I know some places do. (In a mall place where my ex worked one of the employees hooked up with an assistant manager and when higher management found out they were told pretty bluntly that one or the other of them had to quit or be fired.) Your potential boyfriend should know if such a policy exists.
Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Girl, Interrupted
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My boyfriend will be 26 in August, and I turned 17 in January. That's a nine year age difference. [BTW, I'm from Canada and that is legal here]

We've been together for 15 months. Things are going wonderful. My parents love him. I love him. He's my best friend AND my boyfriend.

A big age difference -IS- possible to work with. Communication is the key. If you plan to be in a relationship for the long haul than you have to know what his future plans are, and you have to let him know what your plans are as well.

For instance, I made it quite clear in the begining that I was finishing high school, and I was going to and finishing college. I also made it clear that I was not ready to move out of my parent's house for at least the next 2-3 years, and I would not be having children within the next 7-10 years.

See, because he's 26 - he could possibly be ready for these things [thank God he's not, and he agrees with me] and your soon-to-be-boyfriend may be ready for some things you aren't ready for either.

Older boyfriends typically lead to sex. I don't know if that's an issue for you, but that's also something you need to look out for. Plus you have to be prepared emotionally for some [most] people to disagree with your decison. Also, it's a good thing to make sure that the age difference is legal in your state/province.

There are many issues at hand here, just be sure you make the best decision for YOU and YOUR future.

Best of luck.

<3
Girl, Interrupted


Posts: 62 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jwlz
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Okay, so here's the thing....I'm a 23 year old female who works with a 17 year old male. We've worked together for a little less than a year now and several months ago, it became very clear that he was interested in me. In the beginning, I thought that the six year age difference was too much and that I just couldn't be interested in him because he was too young. We have become good friends and have gone out together as friends a few times. I have been through a lot recently, both personally and at work, and he has been there for me when I needed someone to talk to. I've thought about this a lot and when I was 18, I dated a 24 year old guy and thought nothing of it. It seems to me that society objects more to relationships where the female is older than the male, than vice versa. Even though I am 23, I haven't dated much, and I know that this guy hasn't either (in fact, I'm not sure if he has at all). I have very high morals and in some ways don't feel that it would be fair to him to begin a relationship. We have discussed the subject of dating and I've explained to him that I don't want to hold him back in any way. I feel that he will want to date girls his own age and may tire of me. He is in high school (and actually has another year left) and I told him that when he goes to college, he'll probably want to date girls there. He doesn't seem to agree. I don't want either of us to get hurt and I just don't know what to do. I feel that I could be missing out on a really good guy and a wonderful, caring relationship if I didn't give it a chance.

Any advice or suggestions would be much appreciated.


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dickiesdike
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the age diffencene in no problem at all i've almost dated a guy 26 when i was 17 but things didnt work out and now were just friends but remember dont ruin a friendship that you not ready to be without in cause something goes wrong i lost a lot of guy frineds that way and almost my current girlfriend
Posts: 46 | From: west palm beach fl | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
playingbyheart
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I'm currently 20 years old and dating a guy who just turned 26, so it happens to be that we've got the same age difference as you and your possible new interest. When they say that women mature faster than men, in some ways it's true-- sometimes dating older guys is nice because they seem to have emotionally caught up to women at that point. However, this depends on the guy-- some of them at 50 still behave like 12 year olds... so I say trust your instincts and if the guy is interested in you because he likes you and not your age, then there is nothing wrong with dating him. Be aware that sometimes older guys can expect more from women, especially if he's had a lot of experience. Be forward about what you will and will not do, and don't be scared to say no at any time if you do not want to do something, whether that be sex or even more innocent things involved with fooling around. If you two can work that out and be open with each other, then you're well on your way to a good relationship. Good luck!
Posts: 91 | From: Chicago, Il | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sexysexgoddess
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Hey i have no problem with this! lol My boyfriend is 11 years older than me! and were happier than anyone could ever be were getting married soon and i love him more than life itself and hes head over heels for me and thats the way it always will be lol age aint nothin but a number just a topic for someone to B***h about! lol

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~*Music Is The Hidden Meaning Of Life*~


Posts: 94 | From: USA | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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