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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » High School -College Transition

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Author Topic: High School -College Transition
CKBrigid
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I was just curious, would anyone want to share what happened with their high school relationships when they went to college? Did you choose to end it as friends or try to continue long distance?
Posts: 8 | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
emsily0
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"end it as friends"? of course not. my friendships are nowhere near as high maintenance as my relationships. i would never have even considered leaving behind this whole crew of amazing friends i have at home.

before i went to college, teachers and those types would aslways tell us that the average person only keeps three of their high school friends. i think that is bull.

my biggest piece of advice would be to get instant messenger or something like that, and talk to your friends on it. it's free and very easy. that's how i talk to everyone.

em

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Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk - real straight talk about souls - for life is holy and every moment is precious. I heard the Denver and Rio Grande locamotive howling off in the mountains. I wanted to pursue my star further. -Kerouac


Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CKBrigid
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Grr. Sorry for my vagueness. Apologies to all. I meant relationships as in boyfriend/girlfriend etc relationships. I'm just curious because I'm facing this situation in a few months and I'm very confused.
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cupcake
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Well, I just found out an...<checks watch>... hour ago, that I'm off to theatre school this fall. Yay me!!!

But in my case, I doubt it will change that much, because I'm still gonna be in the same city.

<crosses fingers>


Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cute Katie
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Hi. My boyfriend and I started dating when he was in college an hour away and I was still in high school. His hometown is also an hour away from my hometown. Right now I am a freshman and he is a sophomore at the same college. We had a successful long distance relationship (and still do during college breaks and such).

While a lot of people choose to end high school romantic relationships when they get to college, a lot also keep them. In my situation, even if I had gone to a different college, I would have still continued dating my boyfriend. In my opinion, why end something that's going well? It's kind of like the old saying, "Don't fix what ain't broke."

Now, the other school I was considering going to was a little over an hour's drive from his school, so it wouldn't be tooooo long distance. If you and your boyfriend are going to be multiple hours apart, neither of you will have access to a car, and seeing each other often is important to you, than it will be difficult.

One problem I noticed with my boyfriend and I going to the same school is that I haven't made many friends here. I spent most of my free time with him back in September, which led me to become unavailable to meet girls on my floor. Thankfully though, I realize this and I've learned. I'm pretty much starting over on a new floor in a different dorm this fall.

Anyway, good luck with whatever you choose.

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-~-Katie-~-

"True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen." ~La Rochefoucauld


Posts: 59 | From: Michigan, USA | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CKBrigid
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Thanks for the input. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly a year and a half now and have a very strong relationship. However in all likelihood, I'll be going to school in Massachusetts and he'll be in New York. I love him and don't want to lose him but at the same time I don't want him to feel tied down and miss experiences he could have if we didn't stay together.
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DarkChild717
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It all depends on the college. For me, I am currently attending a community college, and am planning on graduating high school with my AA degree.(Running Start is awesome!)

I didn't start seeing my current man until after fall quarter this year. A community college wouldn't be so bad, and an in-state college wouldn't seem to be that bad either. Even a couple hour drive is better than a couple hour flight. But that is just me.

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MPAA Rating: PG for mild peril.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
magpie
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Hey cupcake... I'm not being mean or correcting you or anything but living in the same town with one in college and one in high school can be quite difficult. That's the situation my boyfriend and I are in right now. When we were both in high school, our schedules were relativly the same. Now I go to school from 8-3 and he goes from about 10-5, depending on the day. He doesn't have his car with him anymore, and although out town has excellent public transportation, it doesn't run after 7, or at least not very often. So usually I end up driving places now. He's a vocal major, and his directors have no problem scheduling rehersals until 10 or 11 at night. Also, now he lives with a roomate, who's always there.

Now I'm not saying it's all bad. It's more good than bad. I've met a lot of fun new people, and we do things together the average high school couple wouldn't do, such as laundry, cleaning, and grocery shopping, and we've found ways to make things like that fun and romantic. Overall, I think we've grown closer through this.

I'm a junior in high school and I've started my college search. We've talked about where I'd go, and he says he doesn't want to matter in my choice of schools. I can't do that completely; he's been in my life for almost 2 years... I can't just ignore him. But I'm not throwing anywhere out because it's too far away or anything. We've decided if I choose to go somewhere other than the college in my town, that we would try to make it work... The least we can do is give it a shot.

magpie


Posts: 286 | From: Ames, IA | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
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Thanks, magpie

For us, public transportation isn't a huge problem. It's a big enough city, and they've been encouraging the use of public transit lately. I'll have my license by then (note to other people: don't keep your learners' for 2 years ) and the university is eally close by to my house (I can almost see it, literally)

And both of us have always been involved in plays and productions, sometimes him, sometimes me, so we've been learning how to adjust


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cupcake
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Wow I just realized something I forgot that would make this make SO much more sense....

Him and I don't go to school together. We live about an hour apart by bus, half hour by car. So we only see each other 2 or 3 timers a week anyways.


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towel42
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Just a question...

I've noticed that with close, non-romantic friendships that suddenly go long distance, after, say, five, six months apart you can come together, and just happily be friends again, even with the knowledge that you'll most likely have to spend signficant amounts of time apart once again. I've been through that once, when my best friend went to boarding school halfway across the country.

So what makes it so hard for the same to be true of romantic relationships? Why can't most people (I don't want to generalize) who've been in romantic relationships come together after time apart and just be friends again?

I'm not trying to be preachy or anything, I'm just honestly curious about what people's thoughts are on this. Its something thats always on the back of my mind, that most partnerships are basically friendships with a layer of sexuality on top. Is it just that sexual element that causes so much drama in our lives? Its just something that always gets me thinking.

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"I speak of the truth, the truth of the heart, like a desperate thirst in a raging drought/Hey youth, time flies by, its an everlasting battle for eternal life/I love a man from California, he's the prettiest thing we got the same disorder/The way you feel, its OK, its never gonna change, anyway/It hit me I got everything I need/I got freedom and my youth!" -The Distillers-

"I'm alright, I'm gonna make it, even if I gotta fake it..."
"I'm trying to be someone else today, ohh, I'm fooling everyone but me this way, ohh..."
-Sugarcult-


Posts: 256 | From: Illinois | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
cupcake
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I think that sometimes, that layer of sexuality adds another layer on top of your relationship.

While sex isn't necessarily going to bring you closer, it provides another dimension in the relationship, which can increase the complications.

Given how difficulties can often arise in people's relationships after a serious sexual experience, I personally don't think it's any wonder that things become that much more complicated.

Besides which, I find that that layer of sexuality demands a whole new level of trust and understanding, and after time apart, it may not be as strong, and it may be difficult for some people to let go of the hurt they've experienced when that trust and understanding is weakened.


Posts: 433 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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