Ok i was going to post this under "ask an advocate" but i figured i put it here because it has to do with a relationship between my best friend and me.
Latley my friend has been acting totally weird. I dont know how to say this without it being derogatory, latley shes been getting with lots of guys. Not neccesarily anything more than kissing, but still. Shes made a name for herself around school. First i dont want people to think im like that, second i dont know how to tell her that whats shes doing may be wrong, and that its bothering me. any suggestions?
You have to accept that your friend is entitled to make her own decisions. You may not agree with them but unless she is harming herself or others, it is not your place to judge her or tell her what she should and shouldn't be doing.
As for people judging you by your friends actions, no one who cares about you would do that. Simply because your friend does something does not mean that you do and most people will be able to accept that without any problems.
If you simply can't handle her behavior then it's you that has to change. I say that because you cannot force her do change herself unless she wants to. You however, can either choose to accept her or to discontinue your friendship.
------------------ There is a time and a place for everything.
Well she is my best friend and i love her dearly. But when people start saying stuff about her she runs to me all upset. I would never end my friendship with her over this, because we are way to close. Im just afraid shes going to get herself in trouble
I suggest that you talk to her about what she's doing. Tell her that you care about her and you're worried about what's going on. She'll know that you are a true friend because you are sticking by her. Hope this helps!
As a friend, it's great that you are still being there for her. But i think you should try to talk to her about what's going on. If she is so upset about what people are saying about her that she comes running to you, then maybe you can try to tell her how you think that, unfortunately, the only well to get people to stop talking is to stop doing what she's doing. She totally should be free to do whatever she pleases, but it seems like there will be consequences to her actions..people gossiping about her, or maybe you choosing to not be as close with her.
I think you should really try to talk with her, and see if maybe there is a reason she has been going around with lots of guys. I had two friends awhile ago that did things like that, both because they had very low self-esteem, and one also was struggling with some very harsh family problems, and kinda just kept turning to guys for "acceptance," but also kinda for attention, 'cuz she felt that she wasn't getting any from her parents. It really hurt to see them do that, but maybe by being a good friend, you can help your friend work through her problems, if that's the case.
------------------ If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space!
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