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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » advice needed

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Author Topic: advice needed
Member # 4876

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I have this friend, she is a great girl, really sweet and friendly and kind and all but ever since she broke up with her boyfriend she has been leading guys on and basically treating them badly.
The boy she broke up with was her first boyfriend and before she began going out with him she was totally boy crazy but none seemed to show an interest in her. Now she is single again she has reverted back to her boy crazy ways but to a greater extent. She leads guys to believe that she is interested then totally blows them off momements later.There is one guy she has really hurt and one of the worst things is that he is one of our friends cousins so she has upset our friend as well.
Maybe I am being nosey by getting involved, i am not motivated by jealousy or anything- i have a long term boyfriend. All our friends are noticing the change in her behaviour and basically i am just worried that she will gain a reputation.
I dont know whether to say anything to her or not.........does anyone have any advice for me?? Thanks


Posts: 110 | From: australia | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
Member # 384

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Boy, that's a toughie. If you do decide to talk to her about her behavior, you're going to have to be really careful to not sound judgemental so that she simply closes up on you.

Only you can make the decision whether talking to her would be a good idea. If you do, you might try phrasing it something like, "You know, I find the way you interact with boys really interesting. It seems like you..." Then go on to describe her behavior. Try very hard not to sound judgmental, although you could comment that some guys could really get their feelings hurt. Then, once you've said your piece, just stop. Let it soak in. Don't tell her what she ought to do, and listen to what she has to say. Hopefully that will start a discussion that will get her really thinking about what she's doing, and maybe wanting to change.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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