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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » is she playing with me?

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Author Topic: is she playing with me?
KevMezz
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Member # 558

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Hi well 1st of all Happy new year to you all.

A few weeks back i posted a message on here about the problem i'm having with my g/f who i love very much, but i'm i've found myself asking if she loves me. Read my least posting to find out the whole story.
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/001853.html

anyway now its gone a stage further guys are now acctually calling her, yesterday a 29 year old man called her saying he likes her and wants to be with her. when he called i was ready for walking out but she saw me get my coat, she did stop me and told me she loved me but still she talks to these guys. And it hurts so much.

most of these guys live miles away but are willing to go meet her.
I love her so much I don't want to leave her, but i've run out of ideas on this i need some advice please


Posts: 118 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
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Sit her down and explain to her exactly how you feel. Lay it all out on the table. If she brushes off your concerns and seems to ignore your worries then you might want to evaluate whether this is the right person for you. Just make it very simple and clear for her and explain to her how you get hurt.

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i n t r o s p e c t i v e . . . .


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Chicksta
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ok - my input -----


A few things to do that i think are really important in your situation:

1. ask her what she wants from a relationship and after she answers ask her if she's getting it from you.

2. ask her what she talks about with these guys she talks to. Make sure you are talking face to face with her so she can't give you a half answer like " nothing" or "just things"

3. tell her that it makes you feel like less of a person that "your girl" is talking to other people and not you. That maybe you need more time with her and you feel she's taking it all up talking to others.

4. Make sure you're not over-exaggerating. evaluate yourself and make sure you are not making her talk to these people in your own mind and that its really happening.

that's the best thing that i can tell you to do right now. good luck.


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KevMezz
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i have told my g/f how i feel about this and her message is just the same that i'm just being jealous and she is going to continue talking to him,

I told that all she had to do was to tell these guys that she has me as her b/f, but she won't even do that (not yet in her words).
I feel so useless and powerless to do anything. sometimes i think she ashamed of meor doesn't love and is just going out with me so she isn't single.
It really getting to me now it's affecting my work and life.
I love her so much and i think i've done everything i can, all i can do is just sit back and take the pain,


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ErinK
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Ya know, Kev, I know you don't like being single, but I gotta say, I'd rather be single than be with a partner who won't respect my boundaries and limits.

If she's talking to other people and advertising herself as single by not mentioning a boyfriend, that's pretty deceitful. If she's refusing to respect your feelings or compromise with you, and is instead passing it all off as your problem, that's not loving or kind behavior.

I wouldn't take the pain. Instead, I'd make it pretty clear that you're unhappy, and unless the two of you can work it out, you're hitting the road.

Erin


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