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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » big trouble

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Author Topic: big trouble
lux
Neophyte
Member # 6338

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i've met a guy on the internet and i really do like him and he wants to meet me in a couple years.. what am i supposed to do?
Posts: 9 | From: canada | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
keoki_14
Activist
Member # 1312

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Hi, lux. I'm somewhat in the same situation as you. I am madly in love with a guy that I met on the internet. The internet is a great place to meet new people, but you need to be extremely careful.

Since you said that you'd like to meet in a couple of years, you can take it slow. Here are some things I suggest:

1. Don't give out all of your personal information. Just start with an email.

2. Remember that you can't trust everyone. As nice as the person may seem, it doesn't make it true. It's easy to lie on the internet because you can't see their real expressions. It's easy for some people to lie anyway.

3. Even if you see a picture of him and he looks you age, he might not be. He could've found a picture anywhere.

4. Just because he sounds young on the phone, it doesn't make that true either.

All these things you hear in the news and such, and you think "That'll never happen to me." Well, I bet the people that it happened to thought the same thing.

Basically, just take it slow. It's hard to gain trust on someone you've never met before, but personally I think that if the guy you've been talking to for a few years wanted to kill/rape/whatever, then I think he would've done it after awhile. That's just my opinion though. I don't know if other people agree with you.

Also, if you DO end up meeting this person, do this:

1. Meet in a well populated place, like the mall.

2. Tell someone where you will be and what you will be doing in case you can't be found.

3. Bring a friend that you trust with you in case anything happens.

There's a lot of "in cases" and "what ifs," but I think all these things are important. You just have to be prepared.

I'm going to meet my MI-guy (that's what I've named him in my Village People post) someday, but I'm going to be prepared. I trust the guy because I've known him for two years. I think something would've happened by now. I'm glad that I met him, but I'm glad that I thought about all of this too. It's always good to be prepared, especially when you haven't met the person.

Oh, and some good things... I think from meeting a potentional significant other on the internet first, you have a lot of communication skills when you are actually together. It's because of all the talking in the beginning. My MI-guy and I can talk about anything because for now that's all we can do.

I think the most important rule is to make sure that YOU want to do whatever it is that's going on. It's a good rule for everything. You have to have the same wanting as he does, or it just won't work.

I hope I helped and good luck.

------------------
Useless Crap

"This **** ain't over until the last record spins." Groove


Posts: 620 | From: Columbia, MD, USA | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
7thKeeper
Neophyte
Member # 6351

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keoki gave pretty much all the advice you need. I met my girlfriend through the internet as well and we've known each other for almost 5 years now.

Truly the important thing is to take things slow and get to know each other before meeting and be careful.


Posts: 2 | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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In addition to keoki_14's excellent advice, I'd like to point out that you said he wants to meet you in a few years. That's quite some time from now and will give you plenty of time to prepare for it.

http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum3/HTML/001448.html is all about internet relationships. Also try the search engine.

[This message has been edited by ookuotoe (edited 12-31-2001).]


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Star2be17
Activist
Member # 4769

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I don't want to freak you out or anything, but just the other day my friend went down to Milwaukee (2 hours away from here) to sleep over at a 21 year old guy's house...and she met the guy online. They had been friends for a couple of years, they had exchanged photos, talked on the phone, wrote letters, and they got along really well. So they arranged to meet in person and apparently, they were watching a movie at his house when he started to do all this sexual stuff to her. Not only is that illegal (she's 16) but it was unwanted, but she just didn't know how to say no. I suppose i forgot to mention that she has a serious boyfriend.

Well, i just wanted to tell that story so you know that you really can't trust some people, even if they seem perfect.

------------------
~I'm a saint and I'm a sinner,
I'm a loser, I'm a winner.
I am steady and unstable,
I am young but I am able.~

~Maybe this is just a dream
Maybe this was meant to be
I just pinch myself and wonder why...~
--Jessica Andrews


Posts: 266 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lux
Neophyte
Member # 6338

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thank you all a lot for your help... one of my biggest problems though is that i do know he is older than me (5 years older) and he lives in england... far away from canada. the only reason i say we plan on meeting in a couple years is that i'm waiting until i'm 18 when i'm hoping i will have enough experience and know him well enough to persue the relationship to a further point. who knows if i ever will meet him but i just wasn't sure.
Posts: 9 | From: canada | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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