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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What else can we talk about?!?

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Author Topic: What else can we talk about?!?
Member # 6262

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Hey people!!
I just started dating a really nice guy, and we get along great! We have a lot in common. Right now he's kinda far away visiting family for the holidays, and it is so hard for us to talk b/c we miss each other so much. We talk for hours on end (I am afraid to see the phone bills!) in general about stuff that's going on, but like every 20 minutes or so, he'll say, "Is there anything you wanna ask me?" or "What's on your mind? What do you wanna know?" and part of me knows that we should be asking each other questions b/c we've only been dating a short time. Our common goal is to find out as much as we can about each other, and to be together as long as we can, but what am I supposed to ask? I have run out of questions!

I wanna say it's b/c he is out of town right now, and so we can't spend time together to really "know" each other, but what if when he gets back, I still have this "road-block"?

Any advice is greatly appreaciated!



"My eyes are green 'cause I eat a lot of vegetables. It don't have nothing to do with your new friend..." -E.Badu

[This message has been edited by Neo_Angel13 (edited 12-24-2001).]

Posts: 1 | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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It doesn't sound to me like you're having a road-block, sweetie.

What happens in our daily lives really is how we learn about one another and get to know other people. And that can often be more illuminating than say, where you were born, how many partners you have had or what your goals are, if that makes sense.

It sounds to me, though, like perhaps he just is looking for other modes of communication, so perhaps the next time he asks that, you should simply say that you can't really think of set questions like that, but if he wants to ask YOU anything, he certainly can, and that he shouldn't take your not asking him those things as disinterest in him.

If and when he comes back you both feel stilted in talking, where it goes from there will be up to you. Obviously, a partner we can't talk to isn't a good partner for us. But for the time being, it doesn't sound to me like that is an issue.

I would take a look at you goal of "being together as long as you can," however. THe quality of a relationship really can't be charted by how long or short a time we are with someone, and if things aren't good in the now, it doesn't really matter how long something goes on for, does it? maybe you might want to consider adapting that goal to, say, enjoying the time you DO spend together as much as possible. Might also take the pressure off a bit.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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