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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What do 15 yr olds do??

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Author Topic: What do 15 yr olds do??
Member # 5732

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I am a 15 yr old girl. Some of my friends are not even close to losing their virginity, but some of my friends have been having sex for a year or two. For those of you who are 15,what stage are u at with your significant other, or how far have u gone? If you're over that, what do u think u were doing at that age? Thanks, i am just wondering where i fall with everyone else's situations.
Posts: 11 | From: USA | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
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Hi VB, and welcome to the boards.

It's been a few years since I was 15, so no direct exeriences from me, but I wonder whether it would help you in the first place, if you compare yourself and your relationship to what other people of your age do.
I think that relationships and readiness to be sexually active have rather little to do with age, but lots with personality, and what your current goals and priorities in life are and what your relationship is like. - And it's best if you don't let other people's choices influence you too much or put pressure on you, I think. Does it matter "where you stand compared to other people your age" as long as you're happy and content? I don't think it matters.

As to how to evaluate Readiness to be sexually active, we have a cool tool here that can help you with that far better than anyone's else's experiences: check out The infamous Scarleteen Readiness Checklist.

Hope this helps, even though it isn't exactly what you asked for.

~Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2059

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i would just like to add that at that point in my life, my personal sexual readiness didn't really have much to do with my partner's readiness and the state of our relationship, since i wasn't really in any particular relationship. i just mean that especially at that age, sometimes relationships aren't everything


Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk - real straight talk about souls - for life is holy and every moment is precious. I heard the Denver and Rio Grande locamotive howling off in the mountains. I wanted to pursue my star further. -Kerouac

Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Annie Juliet
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I totally agree with the don't judge yourself by your friends thing. I was 16 i first kissed a guy. But it's not like i'm a total dork or anything. I went on a bunch of dates but i just never had the desire to kiss any of the guys i went out with. I know by now you're thinking ok "she's a dork" and I though so too because here i was 16 never kissed a guy and there were all my friends who had been french kissing guy's since like the fifth grade.... And it's not like I never had the oppertunity to because i did, but i just never wanted to until i went out with my current boyfriend. And then i wanted to kiss him and when he did, it made all the more special. My point is do things for you not for anyone else. And my other point is that every relationship is different and it can't be compared to any other relaionship.

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Celtic Daisy
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Well, i'm 16, and i've never had a boyfriend, just dated a guy a couple of times. The farthest i've gone is hand holding, and right now, i'm completely comfortable with that. I'm not ready to do something more unless it's with someone i really care about.

Age is just a small factor in relationships, it's really more about how YOU feel, not your friends or peers.

"where'ths my mommy?"

Akimsa (non-violence)


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4769

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I'm 15 years old, and so are many of my friends. My friends' experiences range from never having a boyfriend to never kissing to having sex...and everyone's okay with everyone else's choices. it's really a personal decision, and you should do what feels comfortable for you, and not just because your friends are doing it.

So you call this your free country?
Tell me why it costs so much to live.--3 Doors Down

I know you believe you understand what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. --Chris Slater

Posts: 266 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
Member # 5508

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Less than a month after my 16th birthday, I had sex for the first time. It was with a boy who wasn't even my boyfriend, and I did it so that he would be my boyfriend. He was not good news. He broke my heart, and was a complete jerk to me after it happened. He was a jerk to begin with, but I was too blind to see it. I wasn't ready at all, and I definitely wasn't in love. And it went against all the morals I had: All of my life I had wanted to save sex for marriage. But I was so lonely at that time; I had very few close friends, and I didn't have a boyfriend. We met when I was 15, and he was really nice to me, maybe just because he only wanted sex. But because so few people were nice to me at that time, it amazed me, and I was completely infatuated with him. I won't say that I regret doing it, because the worst thing that you can do is have regrets. Everything happens for a reason, and I certainly learned an important lesson from the whole thing. I don't think that there is a right or wrong age to have sex. You should have sex when it feels completely right.
Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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i was 15 6 years ago, but i still remember how awful and traumatic it was.

my life at 15 straddled my sophomore and junior years of high school. i remember having the biggest, most mind-twisting crush on a boy who had graduated when i was a freshman. in fact, i had a crush on him since i was a freshman -- he was a hottie future filmmaker with musical talent.

i was awkward, eccentric, and not quite grown into my own body yet. i was a pathetic geek boys didn't like me, certainly not this one. so it was a lot of anxiety and bad teenage poetry. i took out my angst on nirvana albums. though i had my first kiss at 11, i hadn't been touched by a boy since, and didn't want to anyway. i was too scared of it.

lesson to be learned, go at *your* life's pace. not mine. not your friends'. 15 is insignificant. 21 is a whole lot better if you haven't had sex at 15, that's fine. you don't have to be a national average (which is about 17 for girls in the States anyway). If you haven't been kissed, there's nothing wrong with that either. Age is only a number, but life is not.

Living proof that it's hip to be square .

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beautiful day
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Well when i was 15 i could honestly say i questioned the same thing.. i even do it now even though im almost 19.. I could say at 15 i had zero experience... and i was very uncomfortable because i felt like i was the only one who hadnt kissed a boy at that stage.. everything at 15 that has to do with boyfriends and sex is very stressful.. but now i look back.. and i think.. man i was 16 when i had sex.. and even that was too young for me because i KNEW i wasn't ready.. i should have waited longer so i could be comfortable with my sexuality... however it isnt the same for everyone.. but dont be too stressed about it.. my advice to u is to take your time.. there is no rush u have a whole life ahead of u.. and trust me.. the worst thing to do is regret.. and i regret many things i have done sexually with some guys. . however at 18 going on 19.. i think this was the time i should have waited to because i am officially ready now..
Posts: 59 | From: Toronto/Ont/Canada | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4154

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Well i'm 15. I'm currently in my first "real" relationship. I had an episode with one guy about 9 months ago but nothing happened. Sam (my boyfriend) and i have been going out for 4 months. I am completely head over heels in love with him. I wasn't even looking for a boyfriend. I was just being open and letting things go as they please. Then i met him and everything got so much better. I was ready for a boyfriend and i found the perfect one!

Within in my group of friends i have gone the farthest. Not sex but past kissing. I only have one other friend who's gone beyond kissing. The rest are still at kissing or haven't even gotten that yet.

I think at this age, just let things come and go as it pleases. Your only 15 you still have a ton of life left. If you don't have a boyfriend don't worry about it. There are other things you can focus on. And if you have someone to love then thats awesome too. But don't get stressed over not having a bf, or not having your first kiss. Those things will happen when the time is right.

But most of all; remeber "chicks over dicks" meaning friends over boyfriends

Posts: 83 | From: Seattle, Washington | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5822

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Well I'm 15, I'm gay and I'm not in a steady relationship but I know that if I was, I'd do what I wanted to do and felt ready to do not what I felt pressured to do ir society said I shouldn't. I believe that sex and those matters are a matter of personal choice and if you're sure you're ready, I mean really sure, then I think you know the thing to do.


Do not try to find out who I am, I am a shadow and you are the light, wherever you are I cannot be...

Posts: 896 | From: Europe | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3634

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(Didcha all miss me, while I was away?? hehe)

Ok, Im 15, and i really haven't been a serious relationship. I've had boyfriends and all, but never really got serious because I don't feel like im ready. I haven't even kissed a guy yet, but thats ok. hehe. But thats not to say everyone is like me. Listen to Alaska, with the checklist hehe.
jeez i can't stay this long away, my posts are starting to suffer.

[This message has been edited by Cate (edited 11-10-2001).]

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Member # 5860

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hey, most of my friends have had sex when they were 15 or younger. and all of them have said they wished they had never done it. it is true i am a guy, but they have stopped me from having sex. too me it's just not worth it
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Member # 5257

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when i was 15, i was with a guy that i loved... and he loved me too, but i wasnt ready to take that step yet. i had been with him off and on for a while. when i turned 16, soon after i decided i was ready. happily, we have been together aorund a year now with otu any *fall outs*. be careful thinking you are ready just because it may be what you want at that point in time. it is your choice... jsut make sure you do what you do for YOURSELF. this is something that can not be taken back.

-Morals only mean something if you stick by them when they are inconvenient for you-

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Member # 5837

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Hi there, very good question. I was wondering the exact same thing, if you can believe that!
Well, I'm still a virgin, really, I've never had intercorse, with my boyfriend or anyone else. Me and my bf kiss, make-out and grope. I think the farthest we've gone is sneaking hands down each other's pants, but that's it, really.
Yeha, it seems like a lot of my friends have gone much further then me. I dunno, I'm not a prude or anything, but it seems like we're still really young. I know I personally want to a wait a bit before I 'do it'.

"Life's a bitch and so am I!"
"This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me" (for you, John-john.)
"Those who fail history are doomed to repeat it--in summer school."

Posts: 6 | From: Boston, the most drunken town in the US | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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