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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Over Reacting or Not?

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Author Topic: Over Reacting or Not?
Bambi
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Member # 2864

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This is kind of an annoying situation for me. Theres this girl that me and my friends hang around now and shes cool or whatever but when shes around my ex she acts a little to comfortable around him. I mean I still have feelings for him which she doesn't know about.The thing thats gettin me is that she says that shes startin to like him. I'm not tryna get in the way but I know in a way that I am jealous. But thats not the only thing that bothers me. Another thing is that my bestfriend knows my feelings but in ways she is tryna hook them up or whatever you wanna call it. I'm not gettin mad at her but I think that she could show more compassion towards me. I feel that she could just be the person thats not necessarily in the middle but the person that justs listens. I'm confused can someone help me out?
Posts: 18 | From: Mt. Vernon, NY, United States | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Miss Thang
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There's pretty much nothing you can do, which sucks, but it's life. He's your ex. He's allowed to be with other people, and it hurts you, I know, but you can't change it. And as for your best friend, she recognizes the fact that he is your EX, not your boyfriend. Maybe she doesn't realize that you still have feelings for him. Or maybe she does, but she knows that even if you do have feelings for him, it doesn't make a difference because you two are through. Maybe you shouldn't hang out with your ex for a little while. Even if you think that you two are still friends, I would just give it time. It's almost impossible to be best friends with your ex so soon after you break up. You just need a few weeks, or maybe even months of time apart, and then you can try to create a friendship. But right now, every girl that comes near him is going to make you jealous, and ruin any chances of a friendship. So if you ever want to have any kind of friendship with him again, you HAVE to just have a little time apart. Trust me, I've been through it all, and that's one of the most important relationship lessons you'll ever learn. Good luck!
Posts: 211 | From: Chicago, IL | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lady Moonlight
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You said it yourself, Bambi. He's your EX-boyfriend. When you became exes, you theoretically gave up the right to be jealous of any new girlfriend he might have, just as he has no right to be jealous when you start dating other people.

I'm not inside your best friend's head, so I can't tell you what her motivation is. However, it doesn't seem unreasonable to me that she'd think it was okay for your ex-boyfriend to date someone else in your circle of friends.

It's understandable that you still have feelings for him. After all, you two probably shared a lot and were very special to one another. However, being jealous at this point won't do anything but wreck the friendship you're trying to build and probably make everybody else in your social group uncomfortable to boot. Try to be happy for him (after all, he's your FRIEND, and you want him to be happy, right?), or if you can't do that, maybe take some time away from him, as Miss Thang suggested.

Enjoy your friends, enjoy yourself, and eventually you, too, will find somebody new.


Posts: 943 | From: Missouri, USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bambi
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I now realize that you guys are right. He is my ex and he free to do what he wants. But its gonna be type hard to stay away from him for a while. Its like we do have a friendship but it could be more. Its like we act shy around one another like we wanna say something but we're scared to, which we both came to that conclusion.But I guess its officially over now so I'll go my way for now and he can go his. Well thanks for the help.
Posts: 18 | From: Mt. Vernon, NY, United States | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anonymus1
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Baby girl, I am most definitely not tryna hook them up. I'm trying to have them talk so they can see that they would not work. Honestly, if you think about it, I get jealous at it too. Cuz I know I still like him, so why in moonshines would I be tryina put them together? To me they're not compatable, but if he feelin her, it's not much I can do about it, either. I just want to wait and see what happens. Cuz it's type obvious he ain't feelin me no more, but I would not be trying to put him together wit nobody but you, boo. Love ya.

------------------
Holla back, youngun.
~Anonymus One~

[This message has been edited by Anonymus1 (edited 11-04-2001).]


Posts: 19 | From: NY | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Daydreamer24
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I know this has nothing to do with your post. but are Anonymus1 and Bambi best friends? I'm just a little confused... It's like a soap opera around here! Hehe joke....

------------------
"Only in America, dreamin' in red white and blue."
-Brooks and Dunn

Life is not fair, a fair is a place you show cows

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog."


Posts: 1619 | From: TEXAS | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anonymus1
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Yea, we're best friends. Glad you noticed!

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Holla back, youngun.
~Anonymus One~


Posts: 19 | From: NY | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bambi
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Its about time that you finally realized that you got feelings for him to. And yeah we both now that they are not gonna work but we'll just go along for the ride. That would be funny if it work but I seriously doubt it cuz she is to wild for him! And yes we are best friends and I'm proud to say that! And I'm sorry for looking at you in that way!

LOVE YA!


Posts: 18 | From: Mt. Vernon, NY, United States | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Anonymus1
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I was in denial that I wanted him back. But let's keep that on da low. Anyway, I don't blame you for seein it like that, but you be frontin on a nigga. But then again, we know the deal wit him. (Mr. Quick Nut) They not gonna work out, ma. And then we can have him all to ourselves again. But he don't got no more feelings for me, I can tell. But we can always still work on you and him though...

------------------
Holla back, youngun.
~Anonymus One~


Posts: 19 | From: NY | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bambi
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It would never work for me and him again I don't think. Cuz I be seeing how he is now and its not very appealing. But K can deal with that now. Cuz we both know whats gonna be goin on on the side. And he do still got feelings for you and you be the one frontin on him rather than me but I be doing it sometimes to. I don't like to show my feelings that whats wrong with me but you just be deading him. But she got him now lets watch the drama unfold.
Posts: 18 | From: Mt. Vernon, NY, United States | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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