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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Is he being shy or STUPID?!

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Author Topic: Is he being shy or STUPID?!
SingingBeauty03
Neophyte
Member # 5529

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This guy, Chris, has been askin me ever since school started when we're gonna go out. I kept tellin him whenever he asked me. He repeatedly has asked me this same question, and I've repeatedly gave him the same answer, but we've never made any definite plans. Then at a volleyball about 2 weeks ago he asks me that same thing and of course he gets the same response, but this time he says, "Well how am I supposed to ask you out if I don't have your number?" so i give it to him...and he never calls. But I continue to see him in school and we always say hey how's it going in school, and then on IM we talk all the time. Last friday I was talkin to him on IM and he asked me who I liked, and I said I have a few crushes, and he asked if he was one of them. Of course I said yes, and he wrote "lol I thought I might be.. ..that's a good thing." and then got off line. That night, at a football game, I was talkin to a group of my friends and he came over to the group, stood beside me, and said, "This is my next girlfriend." Of course I was blushing. We talked a few more times after that, but we went our separate ways mostly. Then I email him that night and say that if he's still interested in going out some time, I'm game, and I think we could have a good time. He emails me back that night and says he knows we would have a good time, and I seem like the kind of girl he's lookin for, but he'll know for sure once we go out. Well he still hasn't made any dates yet, a week later. A friend of mine talked to him yesterday and she told him that I wanted her to talk to him for me and he said, "Oh really? Does she like me?" and my friend said I think so, and he said, "well what should I do?" and she said call her sometime. She also told me that he told her he did want to go out with me, but he didn't want to send me the wrong impression, but he was just wanting to go out sometime for fun, kinda casual. I was like, okay, I can handle that. THen I talked to him last night and he asked me if my friend had talked to me and I said "yeah, she said you just wanted to do the casual thing" and he said, "something like that...you never know what will happen after we go out..." and he said, "every time I look for too much in a relationship and this time I'm not going to do that." But he still says he wants to go on a date. Should I wait around for this guy very long? Does he really wanna go out? I need advice pronto. I really like him, but I'm not gonna wait forever.
Posts: 2 | From: KY | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aria51
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 653

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Why can't you ask him on a date? Pick some sort of thing for the two of you to do, like going to a movie. Then say to him, "Hey, I'm going to go to ______ on this day at this time, would you like to go with me?"

Take the bull by the horns!

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Posts: 1287 | From: Missouri | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
BruinDan
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Aria is dead-on. If you're tired of waiting, dive in and make the move yourself. It's easier than waiting around for a phone call, and at least that way you will get a quick response.

And on another level, I think that calling him "stupid" is a little unfair in this situation. Keep in mind that we all develop in maturity at different times, and it is quite possible that he is just unsure of what he wants because he is feeling a wide range of new emotions that tend to come at that age. It's important to remember that just because you may be ready for something, this doesn't mean that everyone feels the same way. If he is taking his time, you are probably better off than you would be if he just rushed blindly into dating you without working through the emotional issues in his head.

So go easy on him, be gentle, and try asking him out instead. It can never hurt to try.

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Posts: 2727 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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