Donate Now
We've Moved! Check out our new boards.
  New Poll  
my profile | directory login | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Crushes

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Crushes
GiNgEr
Neophyte
Member # 5519

Icon 9 posted      Profile for GiNgEr     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
This is the first time i am posting something on this great website. The moment i was in this forums, i got hooked!

I believe u guys out there would give great comments and solutions tomy problem. First of all, im not exactly a macho or cool guy that attracts gals like magnets, or a nerdy guy. im a very normal teen.whenever i meet freinds of the opposite sex, i bcom very nervous. i dun noe wat to say in front of them, except a normal 'hi'.conversations usually started by the gal and i cannot have a normal conversation with them as i dun noe wat to say, making mi look like a complete idiot in front of them. this happens everytime without fail, thus making mi a person with only a handful of female friends. as a teen, im eager to make new friends, esp. friends of the opp. sex. So can any kind soul give some advices to this problem?

also, i have a crush who used to be my schoolmate 2 yrs ago. and bcos of this problem i have, we hadnt been able to really bcom friends, not to say having a BGR. we have lost touch since but i would still think of her nowadays. however i can get her e-mail easily from my friends, so now im desperate to express my love for her! but i dun noe wat to do! besides, it would be very embarrasing for both of us if we meet in the future if she rejects me. can u give me some advice on how to voice it out to her? thanks a lot.


Posts: 1 | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
antonio99
Activist
Member # 2464

Icon 4 posted      Profile for antonio99     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
need advice?... I can sure help you out.
Dude, I've been in the same shoes as you.

Sometimes you feel nervous... get those tingy feelings ? Sometimes you just don't know what to say ?

Before, I never talked to any girls in high school. Now I'm in college, I have more female friends than I used to have during my adoloscent years.

Nothing is ever too simple and you don't have to follow my advice but I'll do my best.

Ok here goes: We all have crushes in our lives. But to go up to someone as though you couldn't utter a single word is like you never knew them.

So where do you start ? Imagine your crushes as though they were your friends. Open up to them. It's like getting to know your GUY friends coz when you're hanging out with guys, they're easy to talk to.

You should do the same thing with women. Say hello... talk about yourself... but don't always TALK ABOUT YOURSELF. Ask them questions... get to know them... Show them how much you're interested in them. And whatever you do... don't go out strong... just go out easy. You can give out compliments... like... how smart / beautiful / outgoing they are. You shouldn't say it too much UNLESS you mean it.

And remember... If you face rejection... let it go. Don't complain about them NOT liking you. what is someone who doesn't like you when you like them ? That's called IGNORANCE my friend.

Getting rejected is one of the hardest things to deal with. It can be heartbreaking sometimes... but everyone deals with it once or daily in their lives.

Good luck.

and about that girl you have a crush on. I wouldn't really express your love to her. Since you two haven't talked... it wouldn't be a good idea to just say it all out at once.

She might mistaken you as someone else. JUST BE YOU. Be independent. Do you know how much women love independent guys ? I guess that's what makes us look sexy. Trust me... girls don't want a guy who's being someone else... like a movie star or rock star they adore. However, HIGH SCHOOL might be a time of confusion where most adoloscents don't know their true self. It will be hard at first... but as the years progress, it'll become easier.

Antonio99
P.S. I think some girls should respond to this board.
This guy needs some advice from ya'll as well.


Posts: 208 | From: Tennessee | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sallynha
Activist
Member # 312

Icon 14 posted      Profile for Sallynha     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
quote:

this happens everytime without fail, thus making mi a person with only a handful of female friends. as a teen, im eager to make new friends, esp. friends of the opp. sex. So can any kind soul give some advices to this problem?

I tend to be the same way when I am around people of the opposite sex. But I am generally shy and quiet around anyone that I don't know *very* well.
I'm trying to change though, and I believe it's possible
I've been trying to talk more to people, like, to start chatting. Sometimes about something related to school, sometimes music, anything that I can think of... Try to do the same... and if you get quiet, don't panic, it's even funny And a shy guy is always cute to be around So think of things you might have in common with who you are talking too and talk slowly so you can't think about what you say


quote:

however i can get her e-mail easily from my friends, so now im desperate to express my love for her! but i dun noe wat to do!

Well, as for this part of your question, I'd say you try and get her email, and write her something like "it's been a while since we've been together, i miss you, ..." etc, you can ask if she'd like to go for a coffee with you or something like that, but nothing *too* romantic, as you might want to move slowly and become her friend before you tell her you love her or something like that. That way you'll get to know her better (and she'll get to know you), and you'll have the chance to see if you do feel so strongly about her, and if you do, you'll be closer then and it will be much easier to talk to her about your feelings.
Don't try to rush things as you might get her scared. Be a friend first, and see where you both go from there

------------------
~Sallynha
The Beautiful Smile Hides The Troubled Soul

ICQ# 123898306


Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
venusqueen
Neophyte
Member # 5458

Icon 4 posted      Profile for venusqueen     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
*gasp!* youve got priddy much the same problem ive got! how bout this, ill make up a sort of play, you and me! (a stupid girl) tell ya what, you be ginger, why dont i be jessica. k, im sitting on the steps eating lunch, you should come and ask,
you" hey!"
me- "hey."
you-"um, do you know what we're having for lunch today?"
me-*show stuff on plate* "this"
you-"oh, mystery meat huh."
me- *laph*
you-"whew! its cold! why are you sitting out here?"
me-"its to crouded in the lunch room, the last thin i need is some doof spilling his salad on me."
you-*laph*
and so-on, and so-on.
thats how i wish the guy I like would do, at any rate. good luck!
jessica

------------------
today im going to look for the person only for me again. the person who will love me because of who i am. the person who will love me even though i cant make dreams come true. does this person realy exist? yes they realy do. and we will make each other's dreams come true.


Posts: 15 | From: cant tell | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

  New Poll   Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3