i'm a sr now and i'm going to be going to college next year. but my bf (we've been together for 15 months) is a year younger than me so he'll be a sr in high school when i'm a freshman in college. i wanted to go to a community college nearby for just a year so that i wouldn't have to be away from him for a year. then when he graduates we could both go to college together. my mom wants me to go off to a university right away though (which would be about 4 hours away from my bf). should i go to a college nearby and then transfer to a different one when my bf graduates too or should i go hours away from him for a year which would be really hard? i was just wondering what y'all thought about this.
------------------ "You choose your socks by their color and you choose your friends by their character. To choose your socks by their character is dumb and to choose your friends by their color is unthinkable."--anonymous
Go to university. If the relationship is strong, that seperation won't harm it. Do not sacrifice the quality of your education for anything. Statistically, it will last longer than the boyfriend will. If you are the exception to this rule and have a truly strong, life-long relationship in the works here, being a few hours apart will *not* kill your relationship.
Have you thought about where you want to go to college? As in, who has the highest ranked program that you'd like to go into, etc. Perhaps you should think about what's going to be best for your future and let the rest take care of itself. Just a thought.
Go to the school that YOU want to go to. Go to the school that is best for YOU.
A year is a long time and who knows where your relationship will be by then. Don't screw up your life, more or less, for your current boyfriend. Think about YOU first. It's not selfish, it's common sense and practicality.
Not to mention, in most cases, transferring as a first year student is tough. For undergraduate admissions, universities want you as a freshman or after you get your AA. So save yourself the trouble, and go to the university now. Don't wait, you might miss your chance totally.
Really, 4 hours is nothing. You can see him on the weekends and over holiday breaks. It's not the same as seeing each other everyday, but it can still work.
I have to go with KittenGoddess and SlowCookie on this one. Don't do anything you don't want to.
It's your life after all. What if he breaks up with you during that waiting year ? You might have chosen something you didn't really wanted because of someone. We learned that in hish school: never do something because of someone else. Do it for yourself.
So, go where you want, and don't mix your life with your relationship.
------------------ - I hope I shall be able to confide in you completely, as I have never been able to do in anyone before, and I hope that you will be a great support and comfort to me.
i know it's tough. i'm facing the same prospect too (i'm finishing university and heading off to pursue my master's degree, and most likely leaving my boyfriend behind). but your education will always be there for you, relationships may not. it's not wise to let something like this hold you back. if you happen to break up, then you're stuck, and possiblity mulling over the what-ifs of going and taking that chance. if your relationship is strong as you think it is, you can get thru being apart.
------------------ A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000
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thanks for all of your help and advice. i'm just so worried that if something doesn't work out in our relationship i will end up regretting going away to college right away. i'm worried about messing up what we have. its not that i wouldn't go to college for that yr--i'd still go but it'd be to a nearby smaller college and then i'd transfer to the big school that both him & i want to go to. this is gonna sound stupid but i saw this movie--the family man--which is sooo good. its about these 2 people who have just graduated from college. he is going off to london for a yr to study for some business degree i think...she asks him to stay but he says that its only a yr and that things will work out...so he goes to london and they don't talk again for 13 yrs...but then he goes back in time to see what their life would've been like if he never would've gone and it would've been perfect...they would've gotten married and had a family and be totally happy together...they end up getting together in the end but its taken them 13 yrs when they could've been together all along. i guess i'm just scared of that happening...ya know? missing out on all those yrs would suck and i'm just scared that i'll regret not staying here with him for that yr.
Posts: 100 | From: TX, USA | Registered: Jun 2000
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Michelle- I did something very similar - trying to stay close to my b/f freshman year of college. Well, it did not work out and I blew going to a bigger and better school because of it. Now I have met someone even better and am happy to move on. When we go to grad school next fall, it will be rough because the distance will be hours... many! But we are thinking of our own futures and then hopefully after doing what is right for ourselves we can come back together and do what is right for both of us. I suggest you determine what is best for you and then make your decision. Trust me - it could be a mistake if you do something for the wrong reason or person! Posts: 6 | From: Oxofrd, Ohio, USA | Registered: Apr 2001
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You know what, b/f or no b/f do what you want to. I took a year off, not for any b/f not for anybody but ME. My parents didn't disown me, and it was really cool to have some time to think about what I wanted to do. Now I'm much more serious about school. Do what you want to! And your Mom will just have to understand it's YOUR life and your education, so do what YOU WANT TO. And if that's staying close to home, go for it.
Posts: 6 | From: Raleigh, NC, USA | Registered: Jul 2000
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