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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » I'm in love with

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Author Topic: I'm in love with
Hannah Mezz
Neophyte
Member # 565

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For the past 2 years i had very strong feelings for my step brother, he's been so good to me and treats me like a queen, i told him about my feelings for him but he's not said what he feels for me, he still goes out on dates with other girls and i'm so jealous of that. i really want him for myself, i would never hurt him ever.

also i'm worried if my parents found out i don't know if they would understand
i don't know wot to do should i ask him how he feels?


Posts: 1 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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From what you've said, hannah, you have asked him how he felt, and he's told you those aren't feelings which he shares.

It isn't uncommon for romantic or sexual feelings to occur between step-siblings, but it is important to look at it realistically: he likely treats you like he does because of that sibling relationship, and that generally just isn't a sound ideal to hold others to.

Basically, I'd suggest you acknowledge what you feel (sounds like you have already), recognize those feelings, but also recognize that you need to pursue other relationships.

In terms of your parents, feelings aren't actions, they are just that: feelings. And as long as they remain just that, there really isn't anything to be angry with you for.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
Activist
Member # 1881

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I think Miz S put it pretty aptly.

I know your feelings for him are pretty strong, but oftentimes it really isn't a good idea to start anything with a step-sibling. Things rarely end up like they do in movies like "Clueless" and it can get to be really bad. Assume you go out and end up breaking up and are forced to live under the same roof as your ex-boyfriend? It would be pretty terrible and awkward.

And perhaps his dating other girls is a good indicator of his feelings towards it. I'm sure he does treat you like a queen, but it could simply be brotherly protectiveness. It's really hard to start dating someone you're technically family with.

My advice would be to try to concentrate on other things. Find other topics to occupy your mind.

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Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sometimesgirl
Neophyte
Member # 5383

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Hey, I totally empathize with you; and remember, just do what feels right for you!
Good Luck Girl!

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If you don't love yourself, nobody else can love you.


Posts: 7 | From: Indiana, USA | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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