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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Boyfriend or BEST friend????

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Author Topic: Boyfriend or BEST friend????
Member # 4937

Icon 5 posted      Profile for AshleysAngel     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Okay, one of my best friends got into a fight with her bros best friend today. Now that is not the point of this issue. The point is, is that I am friends with my friend (obviously) and her bro. Online today he asked me if I would ever go on a date with his best friend, and he asked me if I liked him. I guess deep down inside I do kinda like this guy. But I don't know if it is a joke or something. I am very self consious. I think I am ugly and fat and I think that nobody would ever want to date me. I just turned 15 and want a boyfriend bad! But do I want to go out with this guy even though my best friend hates him???? HELP! What should I do???
Posts: 6 | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1881

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You should do what you really want to do.

If your best friend does not like this guy, then it's a good thing that *she* isn't going out with him. But, in this case, you are the one in question, so if you like him and he likes you then I say go for it and enjoy yourself! It's not up to your friends to decide who you date, it's up to you. If they don't like it, then that's really their problem and there's nothing you can do about it.

As for whether this guy likes you or not, none of us here can honestly say. It's alright to say that you'd go out with this guy if he were ever to ask you. See where it goes from there.

Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3023

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I think it's really important to base your decision on what YOU want rather than what your friend wants or thinks... Scratch that, it's essential.

Maybe you really aren't all that interested in the guy. But maybe you are. And if you base whether or not you act on it on what your friend says, well, who's to say years from now you won't be lamenting that fact, wondering why you never went for it despite what your friend said? In short: DON'T let anyone else dictate your life for you, hon, 'cause you're the one living it... and that person, even if she is your best friend, can't possibly have your own best interests in mind, or know you, as well as you do...

It's not easy stuff we're talking about here. I used to take my friends' advice and suggestions VERY seriously and decide a lot of things based on that--and that's good, to a point...I mean, friends give good advice. But you can't base everything on them and what they want. ESPECIALLY not something like dating or a relationship. This is something that will be with you for a long time, even if it doesn't entirely work out.

You talked a bit about how you don't feel attractive and thus you don't know if he'd like you... My advice is this: We all have feelings like that from time to time--some days, we just feel nasty about ourselves and our looks. But hon... there again, that's all based on what we think other people must be thinking about us... Don't let paranoia about those kinds of things get in your way. Ultimately you're hurting yourself by assuming the worst. I know in this world of cookie cutter models it's hard to have good feelings about these kinds of things but you're the one who's hurt by assuming that he wouldn't want you just because you don't find yourself attractive.

So here's my advice:
#1) Stop worrying about your friend.

#2) Find what you like about your body and remember it.

#3) Don't ever assume.

#4) Take chances once in a while. We all get hurt...but it'd be even worse if we never tried for anything we wanted.

#5) Never, ever short-change yourself As a friend of mine said the other day: There are plenty of people who will do that FOR you. You don't have to be one of them...


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Posts: 141 | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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