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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » am i really ready to date?

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Author Topic: am i really ready to date?
Member # 4895

Icon 9 posted      Profile for littlechick     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
i know...ive already posted a problem on here, but ive never found a site as great as this one, where people actually answer your questions! like my other problem....its about my ex b/f who broke up with me 4 weeks ago. like u already still in love with him and all my heart is still with him, but i really need to move on with my dating life. the relationship before this one i got into, i got hurt really really badly as well, and i turned down everyone else for a year and a half b4 the guy im talkin about came along, and in the long rong i think it hurt me not to date for so long b/c i never got over him. ive had several offers, but ive turned them down because i wasnt sure i was ready....should i go ahead and start dating to help me move on or what??

"No guy is worth your tears but when you find the one that is, he will never make you cry!"

[This message has been edited by littlechick (edited 08-03-2001).]

[This message has been edited by littlechick (edited 08-03-2001).]

Posts: 36 | From: US | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4159

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The best thing to help you move on, in my opinion, is to have some time to yourself. You really need to get over your past relationships before you can move on because I think that it brings unnecessary baggage with you. I don't think that jumping back into the dating pool right away is what would be best for you. I think you really need some time to yourself to sort things out, grow up pesonally, and then I think you'll get to the point where you're really ready to start dating again and get into another relationship. Until then though, I don't think you should have any romantic attachments with anyone.

"1970 called. Al Pacino wants his car back."

blackbird's blog

Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Is there someone (or someones) you're actually interested in?

I ask because I tend to think that dating just for the sake of dating is generally pretty worthless and just ends up with one or both people getting dissapointed.

So, I'd say that iif you feels ready, and there is someone you actually like and are interested in as a person -- not just as somebody to get you back into dating -- then if it's what you want, go ahead and pursue it. But there's nno need to force things. if your breakup has you so down you're not leaving the house or something, you can go out with friends, get a volunteer job, or what have you.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2080

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I think you should probably give yourself a little time to get over everything you've been dealing with. It would be best to sort everything out first, so that you can move on with your life with a clear head. If you've still got a lot of unresolved issues, you will be unable to really move on.

Once you are certain that you are ready, by all means get back into the dating scene. I'd also agree that it's not a good idea to date someone for the sake of dating them and getting over your ex. People can get really hurt this way and I doubt you'd want to hurt anyone.

I hope everything works out for ya

*Love always,

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way,that some poems don't rhyme and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next." ~Gilda Radner

Posts: 28 | From: Mass. | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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