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Author Topic: B/F wit Fam. Probs
TheOosh
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I was with my Boyfriend for just about 9 months. He just broke up with me, but it's not technically over. He said that we would be friends, call each other, and try to hang out as much as we can. (he lives sorta far from me, so we see each other once a week) Also, he did say that we were def. going to get back together. Hopefully in about a month or so.

The reason for him doing this is because his parents are getting a divorce, his dad is going to jail in August for 3 years, and his mom makes him watch his siblings when he's not working.

But to get to the point, I've been scared. Scared that he might be with someone else during this time. Or that he won't want to be with me anymore. I miss him so much and I care for him deeply. I simply cry myself to sleep every night thinking about him 24/7. Help!

-ashley-

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John Doe
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Jeez, it seems like the guy has enough on his mind without wanting to go out looking for another romantic invovment. Its a little sad that he wants to distance himself from you durring this time when he has to be a bit of an emotional wreck, rather than lean more heavilly on you at this time. However, give him a little space if he needs it, a month is not all that long a time. He did say he wanted to stay friends, and talk and stuff, just be there for him when he does call. It pretty clear his life sucks right now, be there for him, he needs your emotional support now, not vice versa.
Posts: 475 | From: ohio | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheOosh
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yea i know what you mean. But what annoys me is that he never wants to talk about it. Like most guys, they hate talking about sensitive topics like his family problems. I wish I could give him everything he needs. He's a great guy that doesn't deserve this to happen in his life. Also, I don't know how much to call him. When we were going out, we would talk on the phone for at least 2 hours a day (he doesnt have online). So, do you think it would be *annoying* or *uncomfortable* for him to call him maybe once a day to see how he is?
-ashley-

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John Doe
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As i have said before in other threads, guys are socialized very early on, and very strongly against showing any negitive emotions. He is doing his best to hold it together, and the way he is doing it is by showing an outside picture that his emotions are under control. Its sort of like putting on a mask, guys do it all the time. While it might seem that I am pretty outspoken about my feelings, that is much more true on line than it is in RL. I don't know if you have read many of my other posts, but I have been going through the wringer emotionally for the last 6 or 7 months. Yet, most of the people I work with wouldn't tend to know it. I have even found that those times that I have attempted to open up (when I was a real emotional wreck) I sort of got punished for it (then again perhaps I didn't pick who I opened up to all that wisely). Not that I want to burden you with what I have gone through, but just to give you my insight into how your BF might be feeling and dealing with things.
Yeah, calling him once a day is probably a good idea, and I bet deep down he will greatly appriciate it, even if on the surface it doesn't seem that way. When you call, don't press too hard, just let him know that you are there for him, eventually he may open up. If you can talk to him while you are actually doing something with him, something physical (no I don't mean sex, more like on a walk or ridding bikes) sometimes that makes it easier for guys to open up, rather than sitting down and saying we need to talk about your feelings. The later approach will be met with defensiveness in a lot of guys. Wait until you get some tenitive sign that he wants to bring up things, and it may sort of be indirect.

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TheOosh
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thanx so much. I understand everything a lot more. Once i get to talk to him about everythin one day, i'll def. post it
Posts: 15 | From: NY | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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