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Author Topic: Other guy!
Duff
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Okay so my boy's at camp, and the other night i met a guy i was really attracted to and i think he felt the same way. I really love my boyfriend and everything but i feel like maybe i should go for this guy. I really don't know what to do. please help
Posts: 162 | From: NYC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blackbird
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If there isn't any problems with your relationship with your boyfriend, and you just met this other guy, then I think you should stick with your boyfriend. How well do you know this other guy? Sexual attraction to someone can be a start, but you also have to get to know them before you can even consider starting a relationship with them.

Plus, I think that if you really love your boyfriend, you'd wait for him to come home. And if he loves you, I think then he'll be waiting for you too.

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"1970 called. Al Pacino wants his car back."

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[This message has been edited by blackbird (edited 07-27-2001).]


Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Whoah, Nellie.

You know, we have to be REALLY careful when stating absolutes that "prove" someone's love for another, since there really are no absolutes as people and relationship models can differ greatly. Some of the strongest couples I know are polyamorous, and I assure you, they "really" love one another.

Duff, what I'd suggest is thinking about what *you* want to do, and if it is to take an additionnal partner, then it's time to talk to your current partner about what sort of partnership works for you two. If you and he are okay with one another taking other partners (and with the extra safety precautions and communication that requires -- hint: it's more work than being monogamous), then that's great, though I'd have to say in my own experience that it's best that sort of discussion be had in person, and not on the advent of another relationship or sexual liason occurring.

If you don't think you and your current partner could be comfortable with multiple partners, then the choice you need to make is if you're going to end your current partnership for this thing or not. In my own life, what isn't an option is doing it anyway and lying about it, but obviously, whether or not that is an option for you is only something you know.


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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 07-27-2001).]


Posts: 67076 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
golden101
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I don't know how your relationship is w/ your current boyfriend but if you think this new guy is worth it, then i guess go for it.
But if you're in a happy relationship, stay w/ your b/f. Who knows what this new guy can really be like. He might be the sweetest guy in the world, but you have to think, is it worth it to break up w/ your boyfriend?

It's all up to you

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*~*Golden*~*

*A person that asks a question is a fool for 5 minutes, a person who doesn't is a fool forever*

[This message has been edited by golden101 (edited 07-27-2001).]


Posts: 227 | From: U.S.A | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
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As a sidenote:

Should you choose to go for this new guy, tell your boyfriend and break it off BEFORE you do anything with this second guy. Otherwise things could end up very complicated and messy. Your boyfriend would be angry you cheated and the new guy could be angry that you already have a boyfriend.

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Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Duff
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I decided that I wanted to just hang out with this guy and not do anything i couldn't tell my boyfriend about. But everytime i called this kid he was busy as anything and i felt like no matter how sweet, and smart, and impressive he was he didn't have the kind of time that i needed. Even though my boyfriend is gone i know when he comes home he'll at least have time for me.

Now i'm trying to help him up with a friend of mine who desprately needs a boyfriend. Thanx for the help and kind words


Posts: 162 | From: NYC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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