This past month i have been hooking up with this guy who i've had a major crush on for about a year. and apparently he liked me too. i would go to his house and we'd fool around and stuff, and it was great fun...but i had a sneaking feeling that he was only in it for the action. after a while i convinced myself that he wasn't and that he really liked me. then the other day i was talking to him online, and i asked him if he was just in it for the action, and he basically admitted to me that he was. i was really crushed, but he assured me that HE didn't even realize it until just recently, he thought he liked me just as much as i like him. still, the fact that we probably would have gone on doing stuff and he wouldn't even have feelings for me just made me really mad. but the thing is, he said that otherwise he likes me (just not in THAT way) and he likes hanging out with me and stuff. of course i have talked to my friends about it and i have gotten some advice on what i should do, but they all say that i should just forget about him and move on; he doesn't deserve me. but i still like him. and he said that he still wants to hang out and stuff. but my friends said i shouldn't let him come crawling back to me!! what should i do? i want other opinions! but honestly one thing i'd really like to do right now is give him a big ol slap in the face! HELP!!
Posts: 266 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Jul 2001
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I do have to give him credit though for being honest. He could have simply said that no, he really liked you just so he could still have a physical relationship with you. That would have hurt you worse years from now than hearing it right now.
But yes, it sucks. And I'm positive that there is better out there for you. Plenty of fish in the sea...
------------------ "1970 called. Al Pacino wants his car back."
Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001
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It really depends on you babe...since you were never in a commited relationship, or a romantic relationship at all it shouldn't be too surprising that it was just physical. It is a bummer that you want more and he doesn't (that seems to be the problem with most purely physical relationships). So...you just have to decide what's best for you two.
Me, personally, I see no reason why you shouldn't still be friends, although I don't think you should keep hooking up. But...it's different for everyone. After all, I'm still friends with all my exes, even the ones I had the messiest breakups with...
------------------ Brittany Scarleteen Advocate
"Just say no" fights teen pregnancy the way "hey, cheer up" fights manic depression.
Some people can have a 'friendship' with someone where they do sexual things on occasion... but once feelings get mixed up in it it makes it a lot harder. If you don't think you can deal with the fact that he's not looking for more in your relationship, than your best bet is to stop doing those sort of things with him. That doesn't mean you should stop being friends and enjoying eachother's company though.
------------------ "I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal" ~Incubus
I'd just like to add, that either the paths you choose (staying friends or just stop seing him), for now you should spend some time alone (as in, without him). Meet other friends and keep yourself busy with hobbies or anything else, so it takes your mind a bit off him. Then you can think better about what you'd like for you. Sometimes some time apart is the key to clear your head, and you do sound like you are uncertain about a lot of things, and it might just clear his head too... So: tike time off, then think about what you want, and decide what you should do from there And remember, you can always come back here for more advice
Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000
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