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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » constantly thinking!

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Author Topic: constantly thinking!
donutduchess
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Ok guys!!!

Here it goes....

I posted about this before. But lately its been getting worse.

Ill give you all a quick run down...

Im going to college in a month. Its about an hr away from my guy. Ima miss him sooooo much!

I know 4 wks is a while but not really, see... he is going on vacation all next wk, then I leave for a wk. We will only have about 11 days left together after that.

I know that ldrs can work. I mention it to him, about me being gone, and I guess he just does not know how to think or answer me. Its like her gets upset or something, and tries to avoid it.

Last night we talked for like 3 hrs. And it came up again. We were talking about the phone bills, and how they were gonna be sooo much (neither of us cared)! We were making plans for my b day, and kinda planning the future. Is that a good sign!?

I just really need help on how NOT to think about leaving him constant. I plan on coming home every wkend, so I will only not see him for 4 days!!!

Thanks guys for listening your the bestest!


Posts: 76 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Loneliestnumber
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I know the feeling, if it's any consulation, Duchess.
My BF lives an hour away as it is. Add to that the fact that he does not have his liscence (he's 21. what can I say, hm? ;> ), which leaves me to do all the driving, and I barely get to see him more than twice a week.
Once I go off to college, we will be two hours from each other.
LDRs do work, as you said. And I think if both of you really try, your relationship will just grow stronger

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Posts: 38 | From: Somerset, KY, USA | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blackbird
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What I think you should do is try to convince him to at least just try it. After you move to college, he might realize that being an hour away is like nothing.

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"1970 called. Al Pacino wants his car back."


Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SweetBeyond
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Well I don't know anything about your relationship (trust levels, honesty, etc.), but I do believe it is a good sign.

Being an hour away isn't so bad. My boyfriend goes to college an hour away, and I only see him on weekends (it's tough, yes, cause I see him every day in the summer, but it's not so bad). And with the workload, you probably won't have as much time to think about your mate as you believe you do.

Besides, you're growing up. Think of this as one of the many obstacles to overcome. If you can survive the relationship in college, away from your partner, with all the tempations, that's a huge step foreward. Plus, you need to go on with your life. If you do end up together, you're just setting up a better life for the two of you.

Stop thinking of the negatives, and think of the positives! Good luck!


Posts: 63 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alaska
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You know, sweeto, I think right now is not the time to look for signs, but to sit down and TALK.

I am in an LDR, too, with a big big distance between me and my partner, and have been in various distance LDRs, too, and the main advice I can give is:

DISCUSS IT.

You need to discuss everything. Even the uncomfy things.

The first thing is: Do you want to do this?

Then there are more issues:
Do you think your relationship is worth it? How often will you visit? Who will pay? What happens if you two change? (and you two will change with the start of college, no doubt about that) What are the rules concerning seeing other people? How will you handle it if someone develops a crush? How will you communicate? Who will call? Who will pay? How many eMails do you need? Where does cheating start?(i.e. going on a date? hugging? kissing? intercourse? or maybe you want to become poly?)

Really, if you rely on "signs" and bits of talk for this LDR, this can end in disaster and getting hurt, really. You need to make clear you both want to do this. Otherwise, it ain't worth it, and talking someone into an LDR is not possible, really.

So wait for a good time to discuss it. And then stick by your agreements and boundaries once you are away.

LDRs can work, but they are work, too, but without defining what you want out of this and what you expect from each other, it's far far harder. - I'd actually say it's impossible without open communication.


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Caro
~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 07-27-2001).]


Posts: 4526 | From: germany | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
donutduchess
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Thanks guys!

Youre all so much help!

I talked with him last night about me going away!

He was FINE with it. It turned out alot better than Id planned.

He was resurring me that being without me for 4 days is not alot, at all (since Ill be home every wkend). He doesent use his computer much, so he told me hed be on it more, and we both got cells, so well constantly be talking.

He told me not to worry and things will be ok.

I feel a WHOLE lot better now!!!!!! What a relief!

Thanks again guys!


Posts: 76 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
blackbird
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see? it wasn't that bad. congratulations.
Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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