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Author Topic: I acctually need help here now!
KevMezz
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OK about two weeks ago i met this girl who live in the next village to me, we got chatting made a date to go somewhere,
Now I'm terrible when it comes to dates but this time i looks like I've made some sort of impression, she is talking with me and she says likes me, we chat over the net coz i don't like my parents listening on my phone calls, we always say hi and have a good converstaion.

Today we were talking about when we went out and she said when dropped her off near her home she wanted me to kiss her. That surprised me and she says that she wants to take things further but slowly, but at the moment i haven't given her a answer to if I want to take things further.

I do want to see how we go, but 2 problems i've got here, i'm nervous as this would be my frist relationship and I don't know what to do.
I guess I've made the first step we've made arrangment to come over to my house while my parents are at work so we are alone, i'm not planning on anything happening.
I just need some advice on what to do and how i can make things a bit more relaxed not just for me but for her too.


Posts: 118 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
donutduchess
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Well, when Im with a guy I just met, slow is the way to take it!

Usually hell come to my house, well watch tv, or a movie or something, have something to eat. We usually end up cuddling. Thats taking it slow. Its fun to. Dont do anything your not ready to do!!! Also, who knows, she might make the second move!


Posts: 76 | From: Rhode Island | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
short stuff
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hey. now my advice is the best thing to do is emotionally relax yourself. that is the first step. if you feel you are relaxed, then the rest should be smooth sailing.

some good ideas are to think to yourself, "just be me. i do not have to show off in front of anyone because they should like me for me not for someone else i am trying to be." once you know that a person will like you for you then you will be relaxed and more confident. many people like to get to know the real person instead of the "flashy, show off" type.

also, just do things you would do with a friend. hang out, talk, watch television or a movie. remember to have fun and that this is a time to get to know the person and the person to know you.

most important.. breathe. =) and be yourself. i bet you will be much more relaxed and have a great time. take care!!

------------------
(heart) always, torrance

*so you stole my world, now i'm just a phony*
*i need to know if you were real, i'd hate to think that i've been fooled again*


Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Sallynha
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Hey Kev :)

It's great to hear you found someone you liked and who liked you back :)

My advice would be for you to talk to her and tell her exactly how you feel: like you haven't been in a relationship before and you don't know very well what to do and what is expected you'll do.
That will show her you're a honest sensitive guy, and every girl likes that :) (or so I'd say) And it's really cute for a guy to be like that.
Tell her if she has been in a relationship before she can help you ;)
You can have that conversation while you're cuddling on the couch, it makes you feel more comfortable and you can hug her or something and just say it near her ears so it's really nice and you won't feel as nervous as if you were looking straight in her eyes (I usually do that when I want to say something that would make me feel a little embarrassed :))

Take things slow and get to know eachother. You know, there's one thing I love to do. I'm a very quiet person by nature, I'm not too talkative, so just lying on a bed or a couch with your loved one, one facing the other, you can talk and cuddle at the same time and it kind of feels more private and comfortable to be, like it was just the 2 of you :) Nothing too sexual is meant to happen, you can be like that for hours, even if just talking nonsense or not talking at all, just looking at eachother. I don't know, just my silly ideas :)

And good luck!! Don't try to pretend you're very experienced and know exactly what you're expected to be like, because that will make you look fake, not honest, etc... and I'm sure she'll love to be your first real relationship and explain how everything goes... God, that's just so sweet :D


Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cypher
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The best thing you can do is not put any pressure on yourself. If you think about it a lot and get more and more nervous it's going to show to her and that's only going to provide tension between the two of you.

She likes you and that's great! If you have those same feelings for her then you're in a great situation right now. You have another date and so, instead of putting massive amounts of planning into it, just roll with it. See how things go. Talk about the things you have in common. Sense of humor is the greatest thing a person can posess and is a wonderful ice-breaker.

I remember the first time my boyfriend came over to my house. It was so awkward because we were so nervous. So we started talking, but it was still tense until I just grabbed one of the throw-pillows and bopped him on the head when he was being silly. A pillow fight ensued and we were laughing so hard we just fell over. It was great because that released all our tension and we just relaxed anf fell into this great conversation.

Don't worry about it.

------------------
Smile, though your heart is breaking....

My crazy little universe....

"Whatever tomorrow brings I'll be there....
With open arms and open eyes...."

-Incubus


Posts: 289 | From: Canada | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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